Schizophonia’s Journal

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

@Sugarcoat I have to relax me, i will let you alone. 

 You go out i imagine.

No problem you go relax

no ill be at home

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

The aluminum packaging that contains the tablets, there are several in a box, generally.

Ok that was what I was thinking 

 

[Michael569]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

that's why I don't trust @Michael569 too much, to become both voluntarily vegan and a Londoner he must be a mentally ill person who lets off steam on the weekend by throwing acid on people, or eating redheads; I don't see how it could be otherwise.

Well thanks God I'm neither vegan nor Londoner then 😉

[Schizophonia]

18 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

no ill be at home

18 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Ok that was what I was thinking 

 

👍

17 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Well thanks God I'm neither vegan nor Londoner then 😉

It says London on your account.
You also said you were a plant based diet, that's what i meant by vegan.

 

Edited Sunday at 03:58 PM by Schizophonia

[Michael569]

@Schizophonia it said London when i created the account, we moved out of London few years ago. I'm almost a countryside boy now 

I have an organic soy farm and export all my produce to France, feminising your fellow country men one at a time 

Btw not 100% plant based, I quit veganism about 5 years ago. More like 85% now. 

Edited Sunday at 06:51 PM by Michael569

[Schizophonia]

11 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

@Schizophonia it said London when i created the account, we moved out of London few years ago. I'm almost a countryside boy now 

In which city if it's not too personal? I don't want to stalk you lol but still an excess of curiosity.
I don't know the UK apart from London, I just know one person who was at Bistrol.

11 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

I have an organic soy farm and export all my produce to France, feminising your fellow country men one at a time 

lol

But fake only Parisians eat this stuff. 😬

11 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

Btw not 100% plant based, I quit veganism about 5 years ago. More like 85% now. 

I see.

[Michael569]

@Schizophonia not far from Bournemouth. Might change again this year depending on where we buy our flat/house

[Schizophonia]

Day 23

It is quite easy to make hormonal creams, whether for HRT or roids. This was taught to me by another funny but slightly moody French guy, whom I "met" at the time on Meso RX.
I will probably never do it again, or at most cycles here and there in optimal conditions in a few years when I will be stabilized, because there are simply too many side effects in my case.

This consists of ordering, on sites like purple panda lab or Bulk for more exotic products (Melatonin, DHEA...), some steroid powder and mixing it with a penetrating agent, possibly a diluting and texturizing agent.

DMSO is both a very good solvent and penetrating agent, it also has potentiating properties on steroids, but it is also possibly terribly irritating depending on the people and where you put it.

It also gives you a strong body odor because of the sulfur it contains lol, like fish or shrimp.

Most of the time the easiest is to mix a lipid compound and ethanol; Water is very polar and does not mix well with oil or even most steroids, especially esterified. Alcohol also helps ensure the sterility of the solution.
Ethanol as a solvent and anti-pathogenic agent, oil as a penetrating agent; Some oils found in cosmetic stores are particularly effective for this (esthers like isopropyl myristate, cocoglyceride, phospholipids (=lechitin)), but technically any oil can do the trick, even saturated fats I imagine if the chain is not too long.
MCT or coconut oils...

Each steroid is different but testosterone dissolves well at say a concentration of 20% in DMSO.

My solution after different tests was like, in a 100mg dropper way: 10g of testosterone base dissolved in a mixture of 70g of 96% ethanol (there must be no methanol) and 30g of isopropyl myristate.
I heard that isopropyl myristate burns a lot in some people while not at all for me, so again it's very individual, the IPM can be changed for something else.

I could also mix my solution lol with aloe vera, to make a gel, but I haven't tried it.

 

Edited Sunday at 08:35 PM by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

16 hours ago, Michael569 said:

@Schizophonia not far from Bournemouth. Might change again this year depending on where we buy our flat/house

I see.

It looks nice.

Edited Monday at 12:28 PM by Schizophonia

[RendHeaven]

On 2/16/2025 at 1:48 AM, Schizophonia said:

Wizard 101

bro that's my game

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, RendHeaven said:

bro that's my game

Eheh, I used to play it when I was little.

Club Penguin too.

[Schizophonia]

[Schizophonia]

Day 24

I don't play many video games, but I still play Paradox games here and there.

Hoi4 is the one I like the least, it's a bit of a nobrain game; it's nice at first and then it quickly becomes quite repetitive and predictable.
There's not much to do, the gameplay pieces added by Paradox during the last updates (espionage) are crap.

EU4 is my favorite game, the gameplay is super balanced and varied, especially with the different DLCs.
Maybe I would say that it's too easy to blob and you quickly end up with a game crystallized around different great powers, sometimes in an aberrant way, even for the time.
If it were up to me, I would make legitimizations more difficult, maybe for example by requiring more or less money, and a lot more rebellions.

Imperatore: Rome is very similar to EU4 on a different pariod, it's kind of a mix between CK2 and EU4 in more recent, I like it a lot too.

CK2/3 is cumbersome; it's mainly a dynasty-based gameplay, it's too tactical for me, too much stuff to manage in general.

I just bought Victoria 3, we'll see how it goes.

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia What type of games are your favorite explained in a simple manner?

[Schizophonia]

17 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

@Schizophonia What type of games are your favorite explained in a simple manner?

You take any state on the map and you make it evolve on a scale of several hundred years. You manage politics, technological development, economy, war against others/expansion, colonization and even dynasties depending on the game.

[Sugarcoat]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You take any state on the map and you make it evolve on a scale of several hundred years. You manage politics, technological development, economy, war against others/expansion, colonization and even dynasties depending on the game.

Very complex answer 

I like slaying zombies on minecraft

Edited Monday at 08:12 PM by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Sugarcoat said:

Very complex answer 

I like slaying zombies on minecraft

lol, indeed it's simpler.

Wait for me, it's my duty as a man to protect his bee from these zombies. 

 

gets blown up by a creeper with all his stuff*

 

[Sugarcoat]

17 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

lol, indeed it's simpler.

Wait for me, it's my duty as a man to protect his bee from these zombies. 

 

gets blown up by a creeper with all his stuff*

 

It happens too often 

[Schizophonia]

[Schizophonia]

Day 25

A little less than a year ago I wrote down some dreams that I found complete and interesting to analyze, here is one:

The dream began at my mother's house on what seemed to be my birthday, me and a number of people in my family were all sitting around a table when I opened a gift that they had collectively given me; It was a shotgun.
My mother lives in a residence whose entrance is located on a road that goes uphill; In the second scene of the dream I go up this hill, armed with this shotgun but also for some reason with a machete, and I go towards what seemed to be an grand outdoor Asian market.
This market had a very "red stage" vibe; It was in the evening, the market was lit by red and magenta neon lights, a somewhat "sexual" vibe and there were merchants everywhere of different natures; When I was going up the hill, a little before the entrance there were Asian women, plump, who threw large durian-type fruits on the road to "attract buyers", I was one of those people who were looking for this very durian.
I received a phone call from my mother who made me understand that she did not like knowing that I was here, but I simply hung up cordially and continued on my way.
My father, I remember, did not see a problem with it but had recommended a restaurant to me; I remember this place, it was a restaurant of Japanese or Asian savory dishes in general, I don't remember, which was prepared on site by a cook; In doubt, for fear of being scammed by the service I decided not to continue, not to trust my father and to continue towards the quest for my durian.
In my imagination durian is tasty and a "safe bet", there is no way to be scammed.

Finally, I end up coming across a number of durian trees eheh, but suddenly they start falling on me.
Lots of durian trees fall on me and I find myself on the ground, stunned, and when I get up I have lost my shotgun; So I find myself angry, at least frustrated and with a machete.

The dream ends at the counter of a random store, a merchant hands me a paper that I supposedly have to sign for a petition or something like that.
I suddenly have a doubt when he starts to turn around with his signed paper, so I tear it out of his hands by force to reread it and realize that he has in fact subscribed me to a porn magazine without my knowledge; In anger I attack him with my machete.

 

The analysis (I did it myself quickly for fun, it could be much better with a psychoanalyst who has a lot of experience, of course):

-The Asian market as a whole represents persona possibilities, survival strategies, and the sexual/love market.

-The shotgun and the machete are allegories of different archetypal natures of the phallus; The shotgun is the family phallus, it is the survival strategy generated by the collective unconscious given the family history (especially the paternal family, automatically), its successes and traumas.
It is an effective and safe strategy, whether in the form of this metaphor (firearm) and the strategy to which it is correlated in the dream, that is to say favoring the Asian restaurant.
I lose my scythe weapon because I refused to trust my father and take the risk of being scammed by the restaurant. The machete is the "attavic" phallus, it goes beyond the persona in the sense that it has always been there in the background and was not offered to me by anyone.
When I agree to no longer trust the family phallus, I lose my rifle and the machete becomes my main weapon.

-The restaurant or durian dilemma is the dilemma of which survival strategy to adopt; The restaurant (=strategy rather favored by my family, especially my father) consists of an asymmetry strategy.
To give the context, my father is an absolute hard worker, he has always been a business leader, has had various businesses in personal services and BTC; He has always been financially well-off BUT he also gets "ripped off": People tend to take advantage of his "wealth", and he is in poor health partly because of his work.

The durian consists of a safer and more balanced approach: A decent job, a little savings each month, a nice and balanced girlfriend, etc.
The problem with choosing the durian is the abandonment of the family phallus, and this is automatically associated with a lot of frustration because this phallus is a big part of my life.

The reason why people spend their lives ruminating, maintaining a persona that generates negative emotions, is that they benefit from it, whatever anyone says; Because everything is polarized, if "everyone is against me" then I can be an asshole who is against everyone.
This system allows you to be phallic, and this phallus, even if it is essentially masturbatory, IMAGINARY, a miraje, well it can still seem very powerful.

-The Asian salesman at the end is someone trying to take advantage of my phallus (it could be a woman, someone who wants my money...), I could react laxly and let him sell me proof that I am phallic (porn magazines), but now that I have been amputated from my sophisticated, quite sophisticated family phallus, I am frustrated and I react in a much more brutal way.