Big Struggle with Discipline

[marwane dk]

I don't know if it's just me, but I'm struggling a lot with discipline for so long. I've tried many ways to become disciplined but end up failing each time. so are you or have you had this struggle before? if so, what did you do to overcome this struggle? 

The last time I tried to solve this problem I started building some small habits and forcing myself to do them every single day no matter what and then move to other habits that are more difficult to do once the small ones became kind of easy to do. I was able to hold that for a couple of months but end up failing and now I'm out of control to the level where I procrastinate on doing some really really important tasks. I have learned that technique from this Video.

Also, I noticed there's a paradox within developing discipline which is if you want to develop discipline you need to do a lot of work on yourself which also requires discipline.

@Leo Gura could you make a video on how to develop strong discipline because I think without it we won't be able to make use of the great insights you share in your videos.

[NoSelfSelf]

Well no matter how you feel/think you just go do it.That's discipline,there is no technique or thinking about it.Its pure "this sucks" im still going to do it.

[RightHand]

Always assume that Leo has already made a video on your specific issue! 

Search on YouTube "Actualized.org discipline"

 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

You will always struggle with being disciplined because that's what being disciplined entails, literaly - doing something despite not wanting to do it (emotionally, bodily sensation-wise etc.) just by consciously leading yourself with pure will. Forcing yourself to do something = discipline.

The process can become somewhat easier (depending on the task) once you've done that same task several times, perhaps several houndred or thousand times or you are more skilled at it than you used to be before (meaning there's less negative emotions/sensations and resistance associated with that activity) but that need to force yourself will never go completely away.

There exist activities that you're doing on a regular basis, without needing any discipline whatsoever, and in fact there is something enjoyable about them. You should find out why they are enjoyable as opposed to activities that you need to be disciplined about, using some introspection.

But the bottom line is, even if you do what I've said in the previous paragraph, you will always need discipline with many tasks and it is always going to be a struggle. However, the biggest struggle is to begin with the task and then staying with it for the first 30 minutes-hour (again depends on the task) then after that the perceived effort you're putting in lessens somewhat, but some is still there and needed.

Lastly, you should use your own mind and your own experiences, instead of internet videos or advice. From whoever. Doesn't matter. You should be your own authority at the end of the day

[marwane dk]

@NoSelfSelf Yeah, many times I come to the same conclusion, that I just need to take action. but most of the times I found it very difficult to fight myself to get a task done.

[marwane dk]

@RightHand Yes, I already did that and found a couple of videos most of them were posted 10 years ago. but you know how much Leo have changed. and if he make a video about it now it's gonna be very different than older ones, in terms of how broad understanding of the topic will be and how effective it will be. 

[marwane dk]

@NewKidOnTheBlock that's true the struggle will always be there no matter what. 

there were habits that I was able to hold for as long as three years straight. and yes the resistance to do those habits become weaker and weaker each time I do them. but a pattern I noticed is that there always come a time where I give up on a certain habit. and then it becomes so much more difficult, than before, to build again. 

I agree with you on this. lot of times I found that my search for a solution to a certain problem, that I'm dealing with, is just a distraction from sitting down and looking for a solution either through introspection or something else.

[Jacob Morres]

> that there always come a time where I give up on a certain habit. and then it becomes so much more difficult, than before, to build again. 

i'd imagine it should be the opposite. each iteration gives you wisdom on the topic and make it easier to implement. like you can gain insight into what worked and didn't work and what to change up for next time 

though starting up a habit again after you stop can take a decent amount of activation energy , rather than maintaining a pre-existing habit because you need to deal with a change. that could be why you might find it difficult to come back after you drop a habit, however it is completely normal and part of habit changes to deal with that initial resistance 

Edited yesterday at 12:10 AM by Jacob Morres

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

17 hours ago, marwane dk said:

but a pattern I noticed is that there always come a time where I give up on a certain habit. and then it becomes so much more difficult, than before, to build again. 

Same with me. And then there comes the mind with thoughts such as "Aaah, I'd been doing that XY habit already and ended up giving up on it, now I'm suppose to do start doing it again", etc. etc.

In my opinion, there's really no piece of wisdom or information from an external world anyone can give you, that would result in you being more disciplined. It is an internal change and internal battle, something you (hopefully) will figure out for yourself. I surely hope I'll be able to

[EternalForest]

Lack of discipline comes from lack of desire. If you wanted to do something enough, you'd do it. It really is that simple.