I'm Ranveer.

[Candle]

Note. 

I made some very big mistakes and now I'm saying to myself "what the fuck I have done !!!!!!!! "....... I don't care what others think about me. The real problem is "what I have done". 

Trying to control a situation which you can't control is pointless. So learn from it and move on. 

📌 This haunts me from time to time. 

📌 The worst part : it was a very shitty mistake. It's embarassing. 

📌 I do fuck ups in anger and reactivity (impulsiveness). It hurts me that I broke a promise or commitment in anger or impulsivity. That I lost trust of someone. 

Edited Wednesday at 04:37 AM by Candle

[Candle]

Orgasm. 

Solving my addiction problem for good. (I'm glad I did this). 

The way I masturbate is so pleasurable that I don't even want to call it "masturbation". I wanna call it imaginary sex or just orgasm. Anyways. 

Until a month ago, I used to masturbate almost everyday. I used to watch porn for some 5-20 minutes just to arouse myself before masturbation. I wasn't addicted to porn, but to masturbation. 

About a month ago, I took a one-month challenge to show @Leeo_SA that I was not addicted to porn. Now I am about to complete the challenge. And I am very grateful that I took the challenge. Cz I notice some +ve changes now. 

1. I don't need porn obviously. 
2. My masturbation-orgasm frequency has decreased and each session has become even more pleasurable now. (I don't feel like doing it everyday). I now do it once in 2-4 days. I hope it can decrease even more. Porn isn't a problem in itself but it increases the frequency of urges. It makes us more addicted to sex, and hence decreasing the pleasure per session. 
3. I'm feeling slightly better and more vital. Although my mood is off a lot of times in a day... due to some other mental or physical health issues. 

So I think my orgasm addiction is not that much of an issue now. I also hope it will decrease further in future. 

It's just my personal experience. Everyone has a unique biology. 

Edited Tuesday at 02:19 PM by Candle

[Leeo_SA]

@Candle nice to hear that you completed your challenge! You didnt do it for me, but for You 😉

[Candle]

Just now, Leeo_SA said:

@Candle nice to hear that you completed your challenge! You didnt do it for me, but for You 😉

Yeah 😄 I am about to complete it. I haven't completed yet. 

[Candle]

Notes from my old journals. 

 

On 1/12/2025 at 10:24 AM, Candle said:

Lie detection. 

How to tell if someone is lying by reading their body language? 

• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body. The liar takes up less space. 
• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact. Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Fidgeting, anxiety, restlessness, etc. 
• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away. 
• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.
• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says “I love it!” when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement. Vibes not matching with actions. 
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe) instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc. 

I have observed most of these points in my life. And they are true according to my personal experiences. 

Will write more on this....Stay tuned. 

Credit : https://www.blifaloo.com/lies/ 

❤️

On 1/12/2025 at 10:47 AM, Candle said:

Always remember that exceptional cases are also there....just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar. 

Use your intuition and common sense. But don't rely on intuition too much. Intuition can also be wrong. 

❤️

On 1/11/2025 at 9:44 AM, Candle said:

Willpower leverage : 

refers to using your willpower strategically to maximize its impact by focusing on key actions or decisions. Examples:

1. Environment Control: Clearing your pantry of junk food so you don’t need willpower to resist it daily.

2. Habit Stacking: Pairing a desired habit (e.g., exercise) with an established one (e.g., brushing teeth) to reduce mental effort.

3. Commitment Devices: Paying for a gym membership upfront forces you to use it or waste money.

4. Pre-Decisions: Planning meals in advance to avoid unhealthy last-minute choices.

 

Power-packed web pages (also my own bookmarks) : 

Bookmark 1

Bookmark 2

❤️

 

Edited Tuesday at 03:12 PM by Candle

[Candle]

Some thoughts on ADHD. 

I am not hyperactive all the time. I also have periods of calmness. 

Hyperactivity in ADHD doesn’t mean you’re always moving. It can come in waves or be situational. Periods of stillness may happen when : 

✓ You're tired or overwhelmed.

✓ You’re hyperfocused on something interesting.

✓ You’re masking your energy in certain environments.

✓ You’re in a reflective or calm mood.

ADHD is dynamic, so your energy levels naturally shift. 

•••••

The key difference is intensity and impact. In ADHD, hyperactivity isn't just occasional—it’s frequent, excessive, and disrupts daily life.

For example:

✓ It’s harder to control.

✓ It happens in situations where most people can stay calm.

✓ It interferes with focus, relationships, or tasks. 

For people without ADHD, those shifts between activity and calm are more balanced and situationally appropriate. 

•••••

No one in my family will ever understand my mental issues. Problem is not that they don't understand me. Problem is that they are unsupportive, they criticize me and create troubles for me. 

I have urges to move (walk) all the time. I have to suppress it when family members are around. I do this when I'm alone. 

•••••

Reminder 📌 

Meditation will solve this issue. 

On 1/15/2025 at 9:51 AM, Candle said:

Diagnose ADHD. 

My score was approx. 14 in this test. I have ADHD for sure. 

 

I loved this video : 

https://m.youtube.com/@DocSnipes/playlists

I wanna watch 100s of her videos. They are so insightful. 

••••• 

Some excerpts from the video : 

Giftedness and ADHD can co-occur and actually often do, so the person who's gifted, their brain moves really quickly ..... so they may have more difficulty being still because their brain is going so fast. 

 

In girls the disorder typically presents as inattentive or dreamy, the people who are biologically female may tend to stare out windows or drift off mid-conversation versus being hyperactive. 

ADHD is not a character flaw, it's just a different wiring.

ADHD recovery is a team effort. If a person wants to address the symptoms that are causing them difficulty with integrating with neurotypical friends and family members, then it's going to require everybody to understand what's going on.

 

ADHD does respond well to medication..... however pills do not give skills, medication may help the person slow down and not be bombarded by as much stimulus but it doesn't help them become assertive, it doesn't help them become suddenly more organized,  it doesn't help them with a lot of those things, so what the medication does is lay the foundation so the person can more effectively learn...... 

 

other great videos : 

 

 

Edited Tuesday at 02:13 PM by Candle

[Candle]

CLARITY. 

[ Mental Health Issues. ] 

There are some mental health issues or neurotic behaviours that bother me constantly. Like anxiety, fidgeting 24x7,  perfectionism, etc. 

So yes, what you are gonna do about it? 

1. Try to be conscious. Whenever you realise that you are doing something neurotic, be very conscious and let it go. For example, whenever you find yourself doing unnecessary perfectionism, let it be imperfect. Leave it as it is. Just. Let. It. Go. 
2. Whenever you catch yourself fidgeting, be aware, calm down, it will automatically stop. You know very well how easy it is. 
3. Start doing meditation everyday, whenever you are ready for it. (Take a challenge and create a journal for it.) 
4. Watch some great youtubers on it. 
5. Go for therapy in future. 
6. Very imp. point : Self love, surrender. Being grounded in yourself. Feeling your own self very deeply. Being emotional and peaceful. Reading vulnerable stories. Crying. In such periods, mental issues don't arise much. (I haven't cried "properly" for many days and a lot of stress has built up in my mind now.)

 

Hyperactivity vs Composure. 

I want  : 

Sometimes : Composure. ✓ 

Other times : Thrill. Motivation. Energy. High spirits. ✓

You just have to fulfill your ambitions. What else?

Of course you need a decent speed, passion and proactiveness for that.

But too much racing, and hyperactivity, and aggression are unnecessary and harmful !!!! Don't completely eliminate these things, but make sure to keep them within limits. 

Show hyperactivity or aggression sometimes. But not always. And also keep the intensity within limits, so that you don't go crazy. 

Bottom lines. 

Maintain balance. 

Be composed. Be energetic (high spirits) sometimes. But remove the ADHD (excess of hyperactivity) and anxiety part. 

Just like Acharya Prashant. He maintains composure, but also shows aggression. (But in limits). 

A song.

Song 2

In ADHD. You have to be calm while studying. Integrate calmness in your life. 

Edited Wednesday at 06:59 AM by Candle

[Candle]

I will write some of my stories here. 

Family violence. My school. My academics. How I went from top to bottom in studies. My college nightmare. (I'm a college dropout.). Suicidal thoughts. Etc. 

It's important to write them here. Some of them are hard to write. A part of me doesn't want to go there and unpack ugly stuff. 

Whatever happens, happens for good. And my life story is interesting in a certain sense...

I wanna collect at one place (in this journal) all the problems, insecurities, experiences and my vulnerable stories that have shaped my life. 

Edited Wednesday at 05:12 AM by Candle

[Candle]

My mood is off or depressed almost all the time. 

[Candle]

23 hours ago, Candle said:

very shitty mistake

My name is Ranveer. I will compensate for this mistake. For every negative thing, I will do 100 positive things. It's my personal rule. For my own satisfaction.  📌📌 

 

[Candle]

Going through some of the good journals on the forum, I have realised everyone has their own shit. Their own weaknesses, insecurities and shameful things. Weirdness. Awkwardness. Etc. 

I am not alone. 

For example, it's a little shameful for me that I am trapped in a toxic family, I lack exposure and freedom. And many good things. But I read a similar story in someone else's journal. 

This sub forum is a gold mine for me. Will definitely go through all the good journals here. 

There are a lot of things to learn here. In every domain. Business. Female psychology. Parenting. Etc. Lots of experiences. 

[Candle]

Remember this. 📌📌

How you'll focus on your studies (with ADHD) ? Imagine a gunpoint on your head and whatever's in front of you, just go through it relentlessly. (Just an idea)

Maintain calmness during the whole process (to decrease anxiety or hyperactivity, bcz hyperactivity interferes with focus). 

But also maintain a decent speed. Show some energy also..

Edited 21 hours ago by Candle

[Candle]

I caught myself fidgeting (due to anxiety), and instantly stopped doing it just after starting it. 

So yes, now I know I'll win every battle. 

Let's go....

[Candle]

How to focus. 

I noticed my mind was drifting while I was studying. I was not attentive to the lectures I was watching and the things I was writing. So here's my solution. 

Whenever you are conscious, pause for a moment and ground yourself. Tell your mind that you've to focus on the current work. And that you have to be immersed in the lectures as if they are some stories and you are making notes about them. 

A very imp thing to do : stop multitasking. do only one thing at a time. 

If you are studying : study only.. nothing else (even if you get some notifications). 

If you are checking emails : check emails only. And nothing else..

If you are doing xyz : do xyz only. 

Consciously and physically hold and control yourself. Push yourself consciously. 

Quora Answer 1

Quora Answer 2

 

 

Edited Wednesday at 09:45 AM by Candle

[Candle]

Visualization. 

Periods of celebration and high spirits. High confidence. Great lifestyle. Brother- and sister-like friends. Social work. Prevention of Human Trafficking.  Movies production. Automobiles company. Airlines company. (if I survived, no one can stop me from doing these things.) And a lot of other things too, which I haven't mentioned here. 

Discovered this great inspirational video by FLUKE LUCK..

 

Edited 23 hours ago by Candle

[Candle]

Sexy insight. 

When I watch lectures at 1x, I can focus better and retain more than watching them at 2x. 

Because it feels relaxing and there's no anxiety or rush. When the teacher is teaching everything smoothly, softly and effectively; and I am attentively listening and making notes, I get too much pleasure and I don't need anything else for dopamine. 

 

Actions speak louder than words. 

[Candle]

Short video

Interesting for me to know. 

Edited 23 hours ago by Candle

[Candle]

Just 1-2 months. Just waiting for the posting limits to increase then I will bombard the forum with 1000s of posts per month. And all of them would be good or useful. No shitposts. 

And I won't take much time. I will post in my free time only. 

Edited Wednesday at 02:57 PM by Candle

[Candle]

I am extremely angry when I become cringeworthy sometimes. I am self-judgemental. 

I judge myself 1000x more than other people. How much others judge me? It's negligible. 

Edited 20 hours ago by Candle

[Candle]

Best acting. (Hindi)

Nawazuddin Siddiqui.

 

Edited 20 hours ago by Candle