Who here has actually had a proper awakening?

[TruthFreedom]

I have had full-on awakenings where I was laughing my ass off.

I was not under the influence of psychedelics.

This was about 6 years ago, and it was an amazing time in my life. But enlightenment does not create permanent happiness. If anything it makes you more isolated, and unable to relate to "normal" people and situations. 

I never made a big deal about my enlightenment. I told a few people and they probably thought it was the rambling of a madman.

Since then I have had two suicide attempts, experienced psychosis, and struggled with alcohol. 

Currently, I don't enjoy what the world has to offer. I live an ascetic, contemplative life. I don't have many friends. It's not depression, it's more like anhedonia. That's why I drink sometimes, because I can enjoy things more.

I always imagined that enlightenment would lead to permanent happiness, but as you can see, this is not the case.

I wonder where I have gone wrong. 

If what Leo says is true, then I am one of only about 10,000 people on the planet who have awakened to this degree.

I wonder what I am supposed to do next.

 

[Yimpa]

12 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

I wonder what I am supposed to do next.

Jump For Joy!

[cetus]

11 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

I always imagined that enlightenment would lead to permanent happiness, but as you can see, this is not the case.

I wonder where I have gone wrong. 

"You" didn't go wrong. Your ego did. 

[TruthFreedom]

4 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Jump For Joy!

😆 

[UnbornTao]

I'd reconsider what I'm calling enlightenment in your case, as it might be something else, given how you speak of it.

Edited 20 hours ago by UnbornTao

[TruthFreedom]

4 minutes ago, cetus said:

"You" didn't go wrong. Your ego did. 

Possibly.

Maybe I should have used my enlightenment in a more constructive way, rather than sitting around ordering pizza.

[TruthFreedom]

1 minute ago, UnbornTao said:

I'd reconsider what I'm calling enlightenment in your case. 

You must still have only a conception of enlightenment. 

I have seen the other side, believe me.

[UnbornTao]

1 minute ago, TruthFreedom said:

You must still have only a conception of enlightenment. 

I have seen the other side, believe me.

I won't.  Sounds like an experience you had. Keep digging.

[cetus]

6 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

Possibly.

Maybe I should have used my enlightenment in a more constructive way, rather than sitting around ordering pizza.

  Na. Your enlightenment is unfolding in the most perfect way. As it always does. Order your pizza. Extra toppings and enjoy the ride.

Edited 20 hours ago by cetus

[TruthFreedom]

1 minute ago, UnbornTao said:

I won't.  Sounds like an experience you had. Keep digging.

Of course it was an experience! Hahaha 

Everything is an experience.

Keep digging

[TruthFreedom]

1 minute ago, cetus said:

  Na. Your enlightenment is unfolding in the most perfect way. As it always does. Order your pizza. Extra toppings and enjoy the ride.

Thankyou hahaha

[UnbornTao]

7 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

Of course it was an experience! Hahaha 

Everything is an experience.

Keep digging

What if it actually isn't and that's what I'm pointing at?

[cetus]

@TruthFreedom  Enlightenment can hide in the last place you would look. 

Edited 19 hours ago by cetus

[TruthFreedom]

1 minute ago, cetus said:

@TruthFreedom Take it from someone who has been at this for quite a while. Enlightenment can hide in the last place you would look. 

That's what UnbornTao isn't realising, hahaha

I've admitted that my "experience" has not been wholly positive since achieving enlightenment, 

Which he/she assumes means that I never reached that state.

Hahaha!

[cetus]

9 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

Which he/she assumes means that I never reached that state.

No one does.  Enlightenment is a journey into infinity. It opens the doors to possibilities that are beyond your wildest dreams.

[Leo Gura]

I've only had improper awakenings.

Edited 19 hours ago by Leo Gura

[TruthFreedom]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

I've only had improper awakenings.

Well, yeah, because you need to use drugs.

I did it completely sober.

But your videos definitely helped.

[cetus]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I've only had improper awakenings.

You never cease to crack me up. You're like the Bill Burr of enlightenment.

Edited 19 hours ago by cetus

[TruthFreedom]

My life prior to this thread was a tragedy.

Now I know it is a comedy! 

Edited 19 hours ago by TruthFreedom

[cetus]

3 minutes ago, TruthFreedom said:

Aaaah, comedy!

With an air of truth to it.