Concerning resonance

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, trenton said:

YouTube is relentless in making me hate women.

Only because you click on that kind of content.

I have never seen one anti-woman video in my YT.

[Yimpa]

11 hours ago, trenton said:

This time I was recommended similar videos from a new channel.

Try the “Don’t recommend channel“ button

https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6342839?hl=en&co=GENIE.Platform%3DDesktop

[trenton]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Only because you click on that kind of content.

I have never seen one anti-woman video in my YT.

I'll think about that.

[trenton]

22 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Only because you click on that kind of content.

I have never seen one anti-woman video in my YT.

@Leo Gura I did some inner work after I saw this post. When I read it, I saw how I associated myself with anti-woman content. I thought that the fact that I resonated with this material was indicative of me being a misogynist. I decided to check myself for any sexist biases throughout the course of my life to see if I still follow any of them.

Long story short, I don't have any resentment toward women whatsoever. The problem is that I am overly cautious and reserved because I over correct for anything that could be remotely sexist. This makes me nervous and shy around women. I have associated male sexuality with predatory behavior, perhaps partially due to the countless examples in my life which demonstrates this along with the fear of becoming a rapist. All of this is reinforced by narratives about women being historically oppressed causing me to feel even more guilt and shame. I grew up in a house full of women as the only boy. Sometimes my mom would hit me and tell that she went too easy on me for being the only boy. I started isolating myself and not talking to people because of this. Basically, I have no problem with women, I have a bunch of internalized negative ideas about men and male sexuality. This ties back into "I hate myself because I want vagina."

Maybe these videos are refreshing because it gives me reasons for why I am not the problem. It otherwise seems as though I always am the problem due to a fault of character. Therefore it seems I will never be good enough and no amount of effort will be enough either. Obviously this is a self defeating mindset.

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, trenton said:

was indicative of me being a misogynist. I decided to check myself for any sexist biases throughout the course of my life to see if I still follow any of them.

Long story short, I don't have any resentment toward women whatsoever.

That wasn't my claim at all.

You were just clicking on that kind of content. You can block those kind of channels.

You can click on Nazi videos without being a Nazi and Nazi videos will still flood your feed.

I don't even click on some videos because I don't want that kind of video to flood my feed. And I block 100s of channels.

Edited yesterday at 01:46 AM by Leo Gura

[Consept]

@trenton Hey man I really want to commend you really looking internally at the reasons why you might align with these types of videos, this puts you ahead of so many in that you're not just falling down rabbit holes and youre actually trying to look at the whole picture, so good work on that. 

I'll give an overall summary of this issue, in general we know that people often take the easy route, in this context meaning that if there is an issue such as not having a good dating life, the easy option is to blame the women you want to date or blame modern culture etc. Essentially rather than looking at what you can control, you can focus on the what you can't which then absolves you of any responsibility and agency in your own circumstances. the easy route keeps you in the same position but allows you to feel better about being in that position. This isnt limited to men with issues around dating, this could be overweight people who buy into body positivity or women that say there are not enough good men, or poor people who say they system is the reason theyre poor. This isnt to say that they may not have good arguments btw, but when you do anything there are challenges and situations would have been different in past societies but those successful people rose to those challenges. 

Now the hard way and the way that leads to growth is take on responsibility for your situation. So in the dating context, if you're not getting good reactions from women, what can you do to change that? in your case @trenton you are doing well in terms of inner work. But that would be the answer in general, work on your inner trauma, your issues with your mum, your social skills etc. All this shit is hard and requires facing parts of yourself that you might not like. Its not fun and its not gonna make you feel good, hence why people are not attracted to it. 

Now youtubers like the video you posted, i havent even watched it but i get it from what you wrote, know from algorithms and trial and error, that if they post up videos that hit your pain points and absolve you from any responsibility for your situation by blaming other groups of people, they will get more view and subs. We all have these pain points, even though im personally aware of what im saying here, i can come across a video like that, listen to it and relate, if im feeling in a low mood and having issues with women it may even grab me more, but what ive done is fully recognise what theyre trying to do and of course do the internal work and so these videos do not get my attention. You have to understand most of these people do not believe in what they say, if the algorithm boosted up content that forces you to work on yourself and adress your own issues, they would not be making these videos, it is a complete manipulation tactic, they may not even be aware of it themselves. 

But Leo is right its best to see them for what they are and not even click on the videos, even at best theyre just a distraction preventing you from growth, they only in which the creators and of course youtube.

 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2025-01-21 at 0:46 AM, trenton said:

So far I don't feel any anger or hatred toward women in the slightest. I'm just acting out of an abundance of caution when I am exposed to ideas that paint women in general in a negative light. I don't want my lust to somehow fester in such a way that I become like an incel or something of that nature. Maybe I'm being overly cautious and this is part of the ocd around relationships and sex.

One thing I could suggest is to become genuinely interested in your own reactions (it’s a part of being interested in your own nature overall) So whenever a negative reaction or prejudice arises you have a genuine interest in its nature, and can observe it from a neutral view and analyze it, how it came about, what it is etc. You allow it to arise if it does without suppressing anything. This way you’ll be potentially breaking it down.  Understanding that you are a human being and it’s natural to fall for prejudice sometimes, having some compassion for yourself about it, but it can be worked on and dissolved for good. It’s important to be interested in the actual truth of the matter, so that it overrides emotional biased thinking.

Edited yesterday at 04:41 PM by Sugarcoat

[NoSelfSelf]

There is a deeper reason why you want to watch those videos.

Its because your mind is the thing that rules you,its the mind at the moment has monopoly of what you should be doing and being.When the mind rules it will want you to watch red pill,want you to consume as many content to make you stuck,so he can rule even more.That's why mind is the devil.

It should be contemplated why is mind attracted to the negativity and only few times attracted to the positive.Why mind constantly telling you bad things about you?

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

 

It should be contemplated why is mind attracted to the negativity and only few times attracted to the positive.Why mind constantly telling you bad things about you?

Because his psyche has conditioned itself to enjoy (by the Oedipus complex, and by extension later traumas) in a regressive manner (anal sadistic stage for men, typically).
"Negative" thoughts (of impotence) are favored because positive ones will induce more "phallic" (masculine) behavior that is perceived as dangerous because of the excessive castration anxiety distilled by limiting beliefs, and in general by the system installed by the bad progress of the Oedipus complex.

[NoSelfSelf]

13 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Because his psyche has conditioned itself to enjoy (by the Oedipus complex, and by extension later traumas) in a regressive manner (anal sadistic stage for men, typically).
"Negative" thoughts (of impotence) are favored because positive ones will induce more "phallic" (masculine) behavior that is perceived as dangerous because of the excessive castration anxiety distilled by limiting beliefs, and in general by the system installed by the bad progress of the Oedipus complex.

No matter what you conditioned,there will always be that part of your mind whispering in your ear "you are not good enough" "you cant do this, its too hard" it will never tell you "look how much qualities you have,look what possibilities you can do with it"

So there is always a power struggle in your mind who will take the throne.

Ofcourse with better conditioning and understanding, it will be easier to take the throne.Taking throne means for example, today you want to do something but your mind/feelings doesnt want to do it ,but you want to do it... that's power struggle.

The more power you hold over yourself(there are many missing pieces that i wont write here) the more that voice dont have any say, but the voice you put there("positive one") its amazing that whats going on in the news its whats literraly happening in your "own country/kingdom"in your mind.

For mind to keep having throne pushes you to watch red pill content,to despise people,focus on people,no original thought.So it can control and rule you.

Edited 8 hours ago by NoSelfSelf

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

No matter what you conditioned,there will always be that part of your mind whispering in your ear "you are not good enough" "you cant do this, its too hard" it will never tell you "look how much qualities you have,look what possibilities you can do with it"

So there is always a power struggle in your mind who will take the throne.

Ofcourse with better conditioning and understanding, it will be easier to take the throne.Taking throne means for example, today you want to do something but your mind/feelings doesnt want to do it ,but you want to do it... that's power struggle.

The more power you hold over yourself(there are many missing pieces that i wont write here) the more that voice dont have any say, but the voice you put there("positive one") its amazing that whats going on in the news its whats literraly happening in your "own country/kingdom"in your mind.

For mind to keep having throne pushes you to watch red pill content,to despise people,focus on people,no original thought.So it can control and rule you.

Yes, but i try to explain psychoanalytically why people refuse to "take the throne", as you say.
It's neurotic conditioning.

[NoSelfSelf]

4 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Yes, but i try to explain psychoanalytically why people refuse to "take the throne", as you say.
It's neurotic conditioning.

If you could explain it in your words now i get lost in therminology...