What I Learned from Loving and Letting Go

[ROOBIO]

Hey everyone,

I’ve been reflecting a lot on a relationship I recently ended, and I wanted to share my story, not just about why it ended, but about what I’ve learned from the process. It was one of the most intense, loving, and transformative relationships I’ve ever been in, but ultimately, it wasn’t aligned with the life I’m building.

How We Met

I met her in Serbia through a cold approach on the street. I work online so have been travelling around the EU doing pickup. We struck up a conversation, and something about her energy and presence just pulled me in. We exchanged numbers, went out for a date shortly after, and everything just clicked.

From the start, there was an intensity in our connection that I hadn’t felt before. It was natural, passionate, and effortless. We fell for each other quickly, and I was willing to put in the effort despite the distance. I began flying to Serbia regularly to see her, and those trips became the highlight of my life.

The Beauty of Our Relationship

She was incredible, affectionate, passionate, and deeply loving. For the first time, I experienced real emotional intimacy. We were vulnerable with each other, sharing our fears, dreams, and the parts of ourselves we usually keep hidden.

I loved our closeness, our intensity, our sex, and the way we made each other feel seen and cared for. For those months, it felt like everything I could ever want in a relationship.

But as amazing as it was, there were challenges that started to surface, hings we couldn’t ignore forever.

The Challenges We Faced

The first big challenge was distance. Flying back and forth between countries became exhausting. It felt like I was always uprooting my life to keep the relationship going, which started to take a toll on me emotionally and physically. She couldnt come to the UK and was planning to move to Barcelona for her PhD. I was planning to move there with her there for a month.

The second challenge was misaligned goals. She wanted marriage and kids within the next five years, while I wasn’t ready for that, or even sure if I wanted kids at all. I respected her for knowing what she wanted, but deep down, I knew I couldn’t give it to her.

The third challenge was support for each other’s growth. I’m someone who’s deeply focused on personal development, working hard, meditating, and building a life that aligns with my values. While she supported me in some ways, I often felt like my goals weren’t fully understood. For example, when I expressed wanting to work long hours, she protested it instead of seeing how important it was to me.

These differences became harder to ignore.

Why We Broke Up

Eventually, I had to face the truth: our love wasn’t enough to overcome the misalignments in our goals and lifestyles. As much as I loved her, I couldn’t give her the stability, family, and future she wanted.

The final straw was realizing that staying in the relationship would only delay the inevitable. If we stayed together, we’d either end up resenting each other or holding each other back from finding true alignment.

I told her, “I want you to find a guy who can give you the family and life you deserve.” It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever said, and she didn’t take it well. She cut me off afterward, and as much as it hurt, I understand why.

What I’ve Learned

Love Alone Isn’t Enough
You can love someone deeply, but if your core values and life goals don’t align, the relationship will eventually hit a wall. Love isn’t about holding on no matter what, it’s about knowing when to let go for the sake of both people.

Emotional Independence Is Key
At the start of the relationship, I felt like I needed her love to feel complete. But as I grew through meditation, self-reflection, and personal development, I realized that my love and happiness come from within me. This realization gave me the strength to walk away, even though it hurt.

Respecting Both of Our Futures
By ending the relationship, I allowed both of us to move forward. She can find someone whose goals align with hers, and I can focus on building the life I truly want. Staying together out of guilt or fear would’ve been selfish and unsustainable.

Closing Thoughts

This relationship taught me so much about myself, love, and what it means to grow alongside someone. Even though it ended, I’m grateful for the time we had together. It wasn’t a failure, it was a chapter of growth, vulnerability, and connection.

For anyone struggling with similar decisions, remember: staying true to yourself and your goals isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Love doesn’t mean sacrificing your future or pretending things are okay when they aren’t. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is let go.

Thanks for reading, and I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences if you’ve been through something similar.

Edited Saturday at 07:59 PM by ROOBIO