Conquering social anxiety baby step (great achievement for me)

[Buck Edwards]

Today was an eventful morning. I went for a morning walk and I almost walked for about an hour which is a great improvement. Cheers to myself. (normally I feel extremely shy when I go out) 

Then I decided to reward myself a bit for yesterday's work and for conquering a little bit of my social anxiety. I felt a tad bit anxious before going to the store. I was fiddling with the thought of whether to go or not. Not like a panic attack but I was still anxious. Then I told myself "let's just do this.." (most often I retreat out of anxiety but my elevated mood helped me to feel a bit more confident... I went to the store to get a chocolate pastry/cake. During the morning walk, a white cat rejected my petting. And I felt a bit upset lol. Cats generally don't reject me but every time on the morning walk some cat rejects me. I swear cat rejection hurts a lot. I'm a long time cat lover and I can't resist petting a cat as soon as I see it. 

So when I went to the store I saw this cat and surprisingly it allowed me to pet it lol. I petted it so much. It took my petting quite graciously. That made my day. Little things make me happy. 

The cat's fur was so soft omg. I even tried to pick it up gently but it ran under a chair. Nice cute cat. Uploaded picture and video. 

At the store I did not feel any social anxiety. I was in a good mood today and maybe that helped reduce some of the anxiety that I otherwise experience in most social situations and outside settings. Also the cat calmed me a bit as I played with it while talking to the store clerk. So even if I felt anxious (a tiny bit) playing with the cat diverted and distracted some of my nervousness. 

So cheers to myself on this baby step towards conquering social anxiety. 

 

 

 

 

Pro tip I learned today - try to distract myself / yourself a bit in situations where anxiety begins to raise it's ugly head. Try to be in a good mood before approaching a social situation. It doesn't take it away entirely but helps in taking the edge off a bit. 

Edited January 14 by Buck Edwards

[Marcel]

I think you have discovered what’s called internal locus. Meaning the outcome is dependent on your own behaviour and attitude rather then having an external locus, believing outside forces outside of your personal control shape your life.

Good job. Sounds like a nice morning 🐈

 

[Buck Edwards]

@Marcel thank you. 👍

[Lucasxp64]

In my leisure walks, I always try to give just "good morning", to whoever I feel looks open for it. Sometimes, I say to a few, sometimes I go out of my way and even say good morning to people that don't feel open, and I get sometimes surprised with their kind tone of voices back.

Each person answers with very different tones of voice back, super random.

It was the single most important thing I did against my social anxiety, it's feeling now automatically to say good morning.

I always try to get this feeling of openness inside myself when I say hi to a neighbor, as opposed to being stuck in my head.

I almost never go past the "good morning/afternoon/evening", unless it's with some neighbor I already actually talked before already.

But I'm trying now to get into the small talk territory more often, hahah.

Edited January 14 by Lucasxp64

[Buck Edwards]

7 minutes ago, Lucasxp64 said:

In my leisure walks, I always try to give just "good morning", to whoever I feel looks open for it. Sometimes, I say to a few, sometimes I go out of my way and even say good morning to people that don't feel open, and I get sometimes surprised with their kind tone of voices back.

Each person answers with very different tones of voice back, super random.

It was the single most important thing I did against my social anxiety, it's feeling now automatically to say good morning.

I always try to get this feeling of openness inside myself when I say hi to a neighbor, as opposed to being stuck in my head.

I almost never go past the "good morning/afternoon/evening", unless it's with some neighbor I already actually talked before already.

But I'm trying now to get into the small talk territory more often, hahah.

Thanks for sharing. 

[Sugarcoat]

10 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Pro tip I learned today - try to distract myself / yourself a bit in situations where anxiety begins to raise it's ugly head.

 

10 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

. Also the cat calmed me a bit as I played with it while talking to the store clerk. So even if I felt anxious (a tiny bit) playing with the cat diverted and distracted some of my nervousness. 

 

That’s why it helps to have a task at hand too. Like in school I remember it was always easier to talk to people when working on a group project. Because you’re caught up in the work and have something to talk about and not run out of words about. 

[Buck Edwards]

28 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

That’s why it helps to have a task at hand too. Like in school I remember it was always easier to talk to people when working on a group project. Because you’re caught up in the work and have something to talk about and not run out of words about. 

Yep. 

[aurum]

@Buck Edwards great job! Way to challenge yourself.

[Buck Edwards]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

@Buck Edwards great job! Way to challenge yourself.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot. 

[Yimpa]

The cat is totally worth it in the end 

[manuel bon]

Great job!

[Zen LaCroix]

What does this have to do with Dating, Sexuality Relationships and Family. This post is more fitting for the person development section. Good job on developing yourself

Edited Thursday at 05:49 PM by Zen LaCroix

[Buck Edwards]

2 minutes ago, Zen LaCroix said:

What does have to do with Dating, Sexuality Relationships and Family. This post is more fitting for the person development section. Good job on developing yourself

Because it's about social anxiety. And a lot of people who talk about social anxiety complain about it in this section. Because this section deals with socializing not just dating, social skills and friendships as well. 

Edited Wednesday at 03:07 PM by Buck Edwards

[Zen LaCroix]

2 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Because it's about social anxiety. And a lot of people who talk about social anxiety complain about it in this section. Because this section deals with socializing not just dating, social skills and friendships as well. 

Yea that's because they're men who get anxious about approaching women or the different aspects of meeting, attracting and having sex with women You're just talking about general anxiety. That's a different topic

[Buck Edwards]

3 hours ago, Zen LaCroix said:

Yea that's because they're men who get anxious about approaching women or the different aspects of meeting, attracting and having sex with women You're just talking about general anxiety. That's a different topic

Social anxiety is about social settings. Socializing is an important aspect and part of dating for women as well. The dating section is not just for men, it's for women as well. If a woman has social anxiety she will have trouble dating and socializing as well. 

Men don't just talk about dating here. They talk about socializing in general as well. Have you heard about game? Game is not just about approaching women. It is also about developing oneself to become an ideal partner. 

I'm trying to develop my socializing skills so that I can have more friends and so I don't feel uncomfortable in social settings like a club or party or dancing with the opposite sex. This comes under the topic of friendships which is a part of relationships in general.. This section is not just romantic relationships. It's all kind of relationships including friendships as well. This is not general anxiety, it's social anxiety related to interactions and friendships. 

 

[Zen LaCroix]

6 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Social anxiety is about social settings. Socializing is an important aspect and part of dating for women as well. The dating section is not just for men, it's for women as well. If a woman has social anxiety she will have trouble dating and socializing as well. 

Men don't just talk about dating here. They talk about socializing in general as well. Have you heard about game? Game is not just about approaching women. It is also about developing oneself to become an ideal partner. 

I'm trying to develop my socializing skills so that I can have more friends and so I don't feel uncomfortable in social settings like a club or party or dancing with the opposite sex. This comes under the topic of friendships which is a part of relationships in general.. This section is not just romantic relationships. It's all kind of relationships including friendships as well. This is not general anxiety, it's social anxiety related to interactions and friendships. 

 

Fair enough