I fucked up again: Building rapport online and getting heartbroken

[Lucasxp64]

On a previous forum post I did a few months ago, Leo Gura had written to me:

Quote

Simple solution, you just ask a girl if she's single within the first 2 mins of talking to her. Done.

DO NOT try to sneak your way into a girls pants over a course of days and weeks. Make it clear what you want.

Also, DO NOT invest energy into a girl unless she's going on dates with you. Stop trying to build a connection with a girl over text or online. It's BS. If she's not agreeing to dates then screw off. Waste of time.

If a girl is interested in you, you don't need to make any effort to butter her up. You just invite her on a date and she eagerly agrees. If she makes excuses that means she isn't attracted to you and it will never happen.

STOP CHASING WOMEN. Just invite them out and if they don't come out, drop her.

I let the worst of my weakness of my past habits get the best of me, again.

I just had a break-up again, with this girl online that we built intense rapport for each other for the past 20 days.

It just feels way too good for my ego, even though I knew I couldn't meet her soon enough, and it wouldn't have been economically feasible, the economic risk even if I had it. But I still kept at it. It just felt too good at the moment.

She was the one that initiated the break-up, for my own good, after all. She kept bringing reality into it, and she wanted to untangle, and I kept fulling the delusion, and she kept falling for it, but today she tried again to go for an ultimatum, she gave us time to talk about it, to process it emotionally, to let me ask questions. And I was just tired of trying to convince her otherwise again, she said we couldn't continue communicating even as friends, we couldn't ever see each other just like that by this point, and that we should break any dreams for any future together that we had. She was utterly in passion with me, and it made her scared of how obsessive she became for me.

She was just my type, could have been my dream girl. 😩

If I had only met her in person fast enough, she was so ready.

That feeds my ego like crack.

Edited Tuesday at 01:57 AM by Lucasxp64

[NoSelfSelf]

She never wanted you simple as that,your mind keeps feeding you fairy tales of how shes perfect.

[Lucasxp64]

12 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

She never wanted you simple as that,your mind keeps feeding you fairy tales of how shes perfect.

She even had the courage to message me today saying that "The day I tried to get rid of you, was when I had a dream about you 😐".

I'm actually tired of it. She has been the only one in my recent years that treated me with such on-off crazy vibes. So unstable, and in a way it made me attracted to that trait (Not love, more like feelings of mania), like those chicks that try to fix some dude.

At this point, from a high perspective, I feel like only communicating again after I'm wealthy enough that dating her in her city would not feel a big deal to me.

Edited Tuesday at 03:17 PM by Lucasxp64

[Lucasxp64]

I'm trying to give a break on online dating for now, since I don't have the discipline to find and stick with methods for locals only.

I went out today and yesterday, just taking a walk in the city, and I did two cold approaches. The approaches lead nowhere, but I got some good vibes and momentum.

One of those approaches was so sweet, we got to hug and kiss on the cheeks on our goodbye. I needed some of that.

[NoSelfSelf]

26 minutes ago, Lucasxp64 said:

She even had the courage to message me today saying that "The day I tried to get rid of you, was when I had a dream about you 😐".

I'm actually tired of it. She has been the only one in my recent years that treated me with such on-off crazy vibes. So unstable, and in a way it made me attracted to that trait (Not love, more like feelings of mania), like those chicks that try to fix some dude.

At this point, from a high perspective, I feel like only communicating again after I'm wealthy enough that dating her in her city would not feel a big deal to me.

Mixed signals means not interested, doesnt matter what she says its about does she follows your instructions...

[Tenebroso]

Guys like you never learn. I don't blame women for taking advantage of easy targets, women are actually very honest if you judge them by their actions.

[something_else]

You give off slightly needy/clingy vibes. Thinking that someone you've never met, who you've spent less than a month talking to, is your dream girl is kind of silly.

[Buck Edwards]

Umm. I think you can always approach more. Rejections hurt a lot. But you shouldn't be attached to her at all.. I think she had made up her mind already. So there was no point of dreaming about her. Relationships are a mutual thing. The feelings have to be strong on both sides. This relationship seemed one sided to me. 

You seem like a good person who isn't hitting the jackpot. But don't worry. Keep going and you'll find your soulmate. 

Best wishes to your journey in life. You are doing good. 

 

[Lucasxp64]

14 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Best wishes to your journey in life. You are doing good. 

Thank you dear.

And thanks to all of you guys too, I really needed to hear it.

I wasn't really following the best principles and practices in dating I let my emotions carry me, I deserve that karma, it's of my own making. I also only got so far because I had improved on not getting stuck on other conversations that weren't what I was looking for, but this one had hit specially strong.

That's another point I need to improve on. That's experience.

[Leo Gura]

@Lucasxp64 Enough of this online time-wasting. Go out and talk to real girls. That's what you are procratinating on with these online games.

You cannot learn to be good with girls over a computer. It is too safe and too easy. It's a gimmick. Solving this issue requires real work. Embrace the work, the challenge, the fear.

You will be so glad you took the plunge.

Edited 2 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Thought Art]

I have found going to meetups and socializing in general leads me to meeting girls. I am honestly not interested in clubs, so I go my own way. 

We are often to pent up in our houses and apartments but we just need to go out and meet people. 

Perhaps, as I grow I will be more comfortable with cold approaching people but, I just don't like it for now.

Networking and socializing is my goal this year.

I find going to a meetup group, leads to more connections and then more connections and more opportunity for meeting quality girls. Who knows.

Edited 2 hours ago by Thought Art