Why love wont make you happy?

[Nemo28]

I wonder what is that thing within that keeps me away from forming relationships, especially romantic ones, involving having a girlfriend. Would that be a distractions from focusing on God or the fact that i am searching for something authentic and can not find it outside, thus i choose to stay alone in contemplation. And yet, cant live without human connection, many times i have prayed to God for death (forgetting), but here i am, that thing that can't die. Maybe if I become authentic enough I would feel that the connections that i am creating with others are authentic too, and then i would not be so alone. True connections, i guess is what i desire, and for that the soul has to be purified by loneliness.