I made stupid things and harm myself and others.

[jacknine119]

Recently i was run out of money and i bring my sister's bike in a pawn shop. I took some money and gambled. (I didn't have bad intentions i thought i win some money for me and return this bike) Of course i lost. Then i had full concentration to return this bike and then i stole Gold ring of my sister.( Of course i thought i would win enought to return these 2 things plus little money for me) I lost also this. This process continued about 1month. During this 1month i smoked tons of cigarettes, drink alcohols, ate shitty food and now she found out and gave me one chance. Also she will pay to return these things. But i harm her so much and i harm myself and my organism too. During this one month i was totally out of self development. Now i awoke. But its very hard to return in normal life. Forgive me myself this shit😔😔😔

 

Edited January 7 by jacknine119

[Raze]

Sell your plasma

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1CB5zh_5l0

 

Edited January 8 by Raze

[Buck Edwards]

Please don't do this. You are going down a wrong path. 

Don't waste anymore money in gambling. It's a serious bad thing. Promise yourself that you won't do it again. 

Get serious about this. 

And save whatever money you have. 

Also no alcohol, no cigarette, no addiction. 

You're ruining your life. Take it seriously and try to love yourself. You need self love and serious self help. 

I hope you do well. 

[Marcel]

7 hours ago, jacknine119 said:

Now i awoke

This is the key. You awoke. Now stay awake.

Yes. You messed up. Be very honest about that with yourself. Feel the pain, do yourself a factor and do not drown it out by cigarettes or alcohol, use it as fuel and vow to never wander down this same path again. 

Make a commitment to never gamble again.

„The house always wins“ is not just a fancy saying but a mathematical certainty. It’s designed for you to lose. 

You got this. You have the chance to heal what was hurt. Use it wisely my friend. 

[integral]

My man, you're lucky you didn't win any money cuz that would have sent you down a path of addiction, associating this sequence of choices with a positive outcome.

Pawning stuff and gambling it is the oldest scam in the book.

Now go to school for engineering and make a shitload of money.

[TheGod]

You need to seek professional help (therapy).

 

[jacknine119]

@TheGod@integral You are right. If i had won i would be still in that shit. 

[jacknine119]

@Raze it costs only 15$ in Georgia. 😅So i dont thinks its good idea.

[jacknine119]

@Marcel yeah yeah man. I am still awake and i am trying with my whole heart to stay here. But i did it already 100th time and i am not sure if i trust with myself)

[jacknine119]

@Buck Edwards i really lack self-love, after this accident i even cant look at myself in the mirror. What do you recommend about self love? Book or some technique. As i see you had same problem

Edited January 10 by jacknine119

[Buck Edwards]

11 minutes ago, jacknine119 said:

@Buck Edwards i really lack self-love, after this i even cant look at myself in the mirror. What do you recommend about self love? Book or some technique. As i see you had same problem

First thing to remember that you deserve love all the way. Deep down I think you think/assume you  don't deserve it. You are looking for external validation through gambling. This will be dangerous when you lose money. So it's a good thing you didn't win. God always has a way to help us without us realizing it. 

Practicing self-love is a journey, not a destination. It involves cultivating kindness, compassion, and acceptance towards yourself. Identify the negative thoughts and self-criticism you direct towards yourself. Write them down.  Question the validity of these thoughts. Are they truly accurate or helpful? Most likely they're not. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your struggles and offer yourself encouragement. Your struggles are completely okay. Don't think that you're losing. No matter what happens, stay strong. 

Eat nourishing foods, get enough sleep, and engage in regular physical activity.

Make time for hobbies, interests, and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Practice mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to reduce stress and promote relaxation.

Identify your limits, recognize what you can and cannot handle. Assertively communicate your needs and boundaries to others. Especially if they're taking too much of your time. Respect your own time and energy as well as money. Say no to things that drain you or don't align with your values.

Develop positive statements about yourself that challenge negative self-beliefs.Repeat these affirmations daily to reinforce positive self-perception.Regularly reflect on and appreciate the good things in your life.Write down things you are grateful for each day. Even if it's a small thing you enjoy or achieve, celebrate it by being happy about it and liking yourself for it. 

Main thing is to like yourself for who you are. No matter whatever makes you feel disliking yourself, you are worthy of all the love in the world. Just like yourself no matter what. Make a commitment that you will drop addictions. 

[Marcel]

51 minutes ago, jacknine119 said:

@Marcel yeah yeah man. I am still awake and i am trying with my whole heart to stay here. But i did it already 100th time and i am not sure if i trust with myself)

I understand. It’s normal to feel that way after so many past attempts. You need to slowly regain confidence in and forgive yourself.

The past is the past. You can’t change what you did, but you have control over what you will do. Keep in mind that past results do not determine future results. 

One step in front of the other. Take it moment by moment. Have a very clear  image in mind why you want to change and why it is important to you, something that’s powerful enough to keep you in line if you happen to stumble of the path or struggle to stay on course.

Trusting yourself is like a muscle that needs to be trained, with proper „exercise“ as in doing the right and staying on track, however this process looks like in your case, this muscle will soon be stronger then your self doubt.

Keep in mind. The first steps tend to be the most difficult. Once you get things going in the direction you desire and see the results of your emotional labour it will get easier and easier to trust yourself. 

You got this man. You may have failed often, but you also got up again and again, that’s what counts. You have it in you. Stick to it. 

Edited January 10 by Marcel

[Hojo]

You are just acting out cause you feel no one loves you. You are pushing boundaries cause you feel you dont deserve it and testing to see if they will abandon you like everyone else has. Its a self sabotage demon.

You didn't steal to gamble and make money you stole to hurt your sister cause you feel you don't deserve her.

You'll do it again. Just leave before it gets worse you are trying to put yourself in a situation where there is no one that loves you so you can look at the hole you have.

You probably feel like a loser and secretly want to lose.

Edited January 11 by Hojo

[jacknine119]

@Hojothen, how can i think that i deserve love?

[jacknine119]

@Marcel Yeah. I'll do it. Thank you🫶

[Hojo]

@jacknine119 its the default state of the human. Its more about stopping something then starting something. I cant tell you what to stop doing with your mind cause I don't know.

Edited January 11 by Hojo

[jacknine119]

@Hojo you scared me when you said i'll do this again🫤. Because i know i will not do this.. but already i am not sure

[Hojo]

@jacknine119 If anything you read or understand give you an emotional reaction that means your ego is hiding behind it.

My mother was a foster parent I grew up with many children and I see them act out non stop. They come from abused homes and they will push against love because they don't want it because they don't love themselves. When your parents hurt you and treat you like crap you cant love yourself.

You should treat this as a wake up call that God love you as you robbed your sister blind and she is still saying she accepts you and loves you. 

Things might seem like a negative experience but bullying yourself for what you did is not good either as its a trap for not loving yourself. Just learn from it.

Edited January 11 by Hojo

[jacknine119]

@HojoThank you. You really saw me situation from another perspective!

[Atb210201]

Maybe it hasn't hurt you enough yet otherwise you wouldn't ever want to go for it again.

Take this as a wake up call and cold turkey this destructive habit forever.

Edited January 13 by Atb210201