My name is Whitney

[Buck Edwards]

I always felt like I met people who never understood me truly. They stereotyped me, cocooned me, Jailed me in their mental prisons. Some people were disappointed in me, people I can never impress no matter how hard I tried, not that trying to impress anyone ever makes any sense to begin with. When we don't get the love we want, we find coping mechanisms, don't we? Some people got upset at me because I didn't give them myself completely, they could not realize my failures, they judged my harshness as a betrayal of trust, some people lamented at me, some people were desperate to grab me, I met all kinds of people from time to time, some disappointed and look at me with contempt and disdain because they don't want to favor me, some people mad at me because I don't wish to favor them. On both ends I became a victim of their opinions, whether I liked it or not. Nobody truly cared for what I felt, how I felt, what I wanted, how I wanted. It's like my autonomy did not matter. Someone's lack of approval hurt me. My coldness hurt others. On both sides there was misunderstanding. Misunderstanding that I never got a chance to resolve. Because both parties don't want to hear. The first ones think that I can never deserve better, the second ones dispute that all my reasoning are just weird excuses to my true nature. The first ones, I cannot impress, the second ones I cannot convince. The first ones, whose love I'll never receive, the second ones whose love will never matter. 

In all of this mental conflicts of human needs and judgements, I try to find my place.. Where am l?   I'm in the middle being dragged on both sides, side to side. I don't know what to conform to. I get blamed on both sides, though no fault of my own. One side I'll always fail to impress and the other that always fail to empathize me. It's hard and harsh living sandwiched between the two. 

My soul craves liberation. My soul is a bird. I don't wish to be trapped. I want to feel free. I want to feel loved. I don't want to feel rejected. I don't want to feel controlled and owned. 

With one I crave love and acceptance. With the other I crave freedom and space. 

My femininity sadly never understood and obscured into darkness. 

[Buck Edwards]

I felt shy and sexually deeply repressed when I joined this forum in March 2023. I felt awkward almost scared to enter a male dominated forum like this. I remember having a formidable presence. How could a shy girl like me exist on here? It was merely impossible in my mind. I decided to take up a male username of Buck Edwards and somehow survive on this forum as a man and pretend to be a man. I thought this would be a safer Idea. I wouldn't get much attention or lousy messages from men leering at me. Neither would I have to constantly defend my position as a woman. It felt freeing. It felt I could do this. I did well and thrived for over a year. It felt non threatening. Over time I got tired of role playing as a man and it didn't suit me. I was fed up. I couldn't keep up the facade anymore. I just love being a woman and wouldn't want otherwise. My deepest feelings couldn't have been expressed role playing as a man. So I gave up. My husband was by my side. I felt hopeful and confident. That day I stopped that facade and came to my normal self. Yes it was an identity crisis I was battling with.. It was hard on me. I had my insecurities as a woman. I felt like I would get a torrent of messages from men. I have felt shy all my life. Even boarding a bus full of men frightens me. I can feel awkward around men. It's just how I feel and have been raised. I mostly grew up around females. My dad was the only male member in my family. My dad was a sturdy figure for me. Finally in July I felt liberated. My male pseudo name I adopted for this forum is stuck and that's alright. My name is Whitney. 

[Buck Edwards]

We are socially conditioned to always look beautiful by men. 

This is unnecessary social pressure that many women fall victim to. Then they get plastic surgeries and spend loads of money to look good to impress men. Stop. My message to such women is that you should look beyond your own beauty please. 

A woman's worth extends far beyond her appearance. 

In a world obsessed with filters and unrealistic standards, it's easy to get caught up in the idea that a woman's value is tied to her physical appearance. But the truth is, beauty is so much more than just skin deep.True beauty radiates from within. It's about confidence. Believing in yourself and your abilities, flaws and all.

 

True beauty radiates from kindness.Having a compassionate heart and treating others with respect. True beauty radiates from strength. Overcoming challenges and standing up for what you believe in. True beauty radiates from intelligence. Cultivating curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. Your passion makes you truly beautiful. Pursuing your dreams with enthusiasm and dedication. These qualities shine brighter than any makeup or perfectly curated Instagram feed. They make you unique, inspiring, and truly beautiful.

So, let's celebrate the women who are changing the world with their intelligence, their strength, and their unwavering spirit. Let's redefine beauty as something that goes beyond the superficial and embraces the incredible power within each and every woman. Beauty standards don't matter, they were created by men. Focus on inner beauty and reject harmful stereotypes. Be liberated as a woman.

[Buck Edwards]

I'm not going to engage much on the forum. It's unnecessarily confrontational and too much debatey. It's not like I haven't known already. Shame on me. 

Starting new year I should also login and logout of the forum sometimes. 

 

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Edited January 3 by Buck Edwards

[Candle]

3 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Even boarding a bus full of men frightens me. I can feel awkward around men.

I often put myself in others' shoes and I can understand this. Such feelings are valid and inevitable bcz of the kind of people we have. It's a sad reality. 

38 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

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You don't have the option to upload images here? If not, why don't you use image embedding sites like postimages.org? 

[Buck Edwards]

7 minutes ago, Candle said:

You don't have the option to upload images here? If not, why don't you use image embedding sites like postimages.org? 

Yea I'll use that. Thanks.

[Buck Edwards]

The core problem is that most men and women are hard wired biologically. This is their brain wired since thousands and thousands of years. The way a man thinks, he can't be blamed for it. Men traditionally viewed women as a resource for reproduction and pleasure. I mean when a man thinks about a woman, he is fundamentally aroused by her. It will be highly unfair to tell a man to forget this, he just can't. He gets horny, not on purpose, it's his  biological desire, function and inclination. He simply cannot skip or change it. He gets frustrated when his sexual needs are not met in a healthy way and or if he cannot find the right kind of woman for himself. Also men (in an evolutionarily sense) wanted to expand their progeny so they would have sex with multiple women. This was a natural historical instinct in men. They have to control their own masculine instincts these days to remain faithful to their wives. Although it must be a struggle to be that way. It requires too much integrity on a man's part to say no to sex or turn down a woman especially if she is attractive in his eyes. So this is essentially a man's tribalism. He can develop but such development puts a lot of pressure on his own biological wiring and a lot of men simply can't do that. It's like telling a man to act more feminine. He will simply feel handicapped. And how men view women is not entirely wrong either although it may appear sexist in the modern context. Like Leo said people are losing basic wisdom in the post modern era where they have even forgotten who a woman is. How men viewed women historically and traditionally was highly beneficial for social development, it was necessary for men to be horny and have sex with maximum number of women because that would mean the best chance at fertility and survival of the population. So it's tribal for sure, but it's logical too. 

[Buck Edwards]

Love and romance after all is all about needs and happiness and companionship. We feel lonely and we feel like we want someone. Of course there are deeper survival and biological drives and instincts that make us crave deep relationships, emotional needs as well. Everyone wants a family because family is where we originate from. I don't think this can be uprooted from our system. It's quite deep. 

[Buck Edwards]

I'm a woman and I don't understand(fully) the difference between pickup and game. Would be nice if some man explained it to me directly in words. 

I understand a little bit about pickup, although it's none of my business, but at least I try to. So far my understanding is (correct me if I'm wrong) —

Reasons why men do pickup 

• To get a girlfriend 
• To have a stable relationship 
• To get better with people in general
• To be able to get casual sex, hookup 
• To be able to please women 
• To get desirable women
• To enjoy female attention and validation 
• To be charming to women 
• To enjoy the companionship of women 
• To master female psychology 
• To understand women better 
• To get a better woman/person 
• To have a healthy marriage 
• To get a long term relationship or LTR
• To get a friends with benefits or FWB
• To master dating 
• To find a more compatible partner to prevent compatibility issues in the future 
• To screen women 
• To develop confidence around women
• To develop social skills in general 
• To develop social confidence 
• To be better than other men in social environment
• For ego reasons 
• To screen for a healthy potential partner
• To avoid dating traps and potential relationship issues. 
• Thats all I can think of off the top of my head right now. 

 

 

 

ChatGPT 

Game vs pickup 

In the context of dating or relationships, "game" and "pickup" have different connotations, even though they both deal with attracting romantic or sexual partners.

 

Here's a breakdown: 

Game 

• Definition: Refers to the overall skills, confidence, and social ability someone has to connect with and attract others. 

• Focus: Building rapport, understanding social dynamics, and developing an authentic or charismatic personality. 

• Long-term: It often emphasizes improving oneself holistically (appearance, communication, mindset) to naturally attract others. 

• Example: Being able to hold a great conversation, read someone's body language, and make a genuine connection. 

Pickup 

• Definition: A more specific and often tactical approach to meeting and attracting someone, typically for short-term encounters. 

• Focus: Using specific techniques or lines to create attraction quickly. 

• Short-term: Often associated with one-night stands or casual flings, sometimes criticized for being manipulative. 

• Example: Using pre-rehearsed lines or routines to spark interest and escalate interaction. 

Key Difference: "Game" is broader and can be applied to different contexts, including long-term relationships, while "pickup" is narrower and often aimed at quick success. 

 

 

Okay this is the defintion of pickup I gathered from the internet - 

A "cold approach" is when you initiate contact with someone you don't know at all, with the goal of starting a conversation or building a relationship, typically in a social setting like a public place or party, where there's no prior connection or familiarity between the two people; essentially, approaching a complete stranger. 

So pickup is approach. And game is building charisma. In short.

 

Edited January 3 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

I want to feel more comfortable and confident around men. I usually feel a bit scared of men. Also because my past experiences and relationships with men were dangerous and complicated. 

So I felt subdued and dominated by men all my life. This definitely caused me to fear men most of my life.

But I don't want to think that all men are dangerous. That's a stereotype. I want to feel safe around men generally. 

My past with men is gone. I am married now to a man who makes me feel safe. 

Although my past still haunts me. 

At the same time if a man acts like a jerk with me and causes me trouble, it's not my fault. I just can't feel safe in that situation. This is not my responsibility. I simply have to remove myself from that situation. I am lucky that I have a partner who makes me feel safe. 

My past boyfriends were terrible. It's not like women don't have issues with dating. They do. Their issues are quite different from those of men. That's the only difference. 

I was cheated on in a past relationship and that's a terrible thing to deal with. Nevertheless I dealt with everything with absolute grace and to the best of my ability. 

I sometimes wonder about my own psyche as a woman. I think women can be very forgiving. That's why they get into relationships with toxic men. 

 

Edited January 3 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Advice I gave in the dating section. 

Try playful teasing. Complimenting. Playful banter. Even teasing. Try getting her attention to make her think a bit more about the conversation. 

In my case most of my past relationships happened with men giving me subtle hints here and there, begging my attention, acting offended, calling me a pig or something similar, negging (look it up), guilting me, teasing me in quirky ways (like one guy said he wants to open my brain and see inside). Things like that. It made me laugh, feel amused, entertained and often I would end up giving my attention to the guy. He wouldn't make his intentions very clear, just keeping it mysterious and flirty, slightly nudging me to think about him. Guys are more attractive and hot and fun when they keep it mysterious and keep the woman guessing. Don't make it so direct like "I love you"..... Don't come across as desperate, needy and or explicit about sex directly. Romantic extroversion is appreciated by most women, but explicit sexual behavior is a big turn off. Most men get turned down in the conversation because they talk or open about sex directly and generally women feel uncomfortable and weirded by that. We want that part to be mysterious and subtle, not explicit. 

And just in general come across as someone who has boundaries, integrity and woman-friendly. Then you're good to go. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

This is the internet so you have to be more patient with people and that's fine, it's out of my way, I got honed into this with time and calibration. I needed a lot of adjustments and my husband always tells me that I did a tremendously good job at it. A lot of people told me that I had shown impressive growth. Even Leo congratulated me. So I'm happy on that front. 

Yesterday (or a day before that) I received a message from a guy on the forum. This was the message (name hidden for privacy) 

 

I'm so delighted to receive this message. It made my day. Knowing that my insights helped him. 

I'm thinking about joining the group but still a little apprehensive. (my fears around men Lol) 

But when I am mentally ready I might join. 

I'm quite happy. 

Although I didn't have a good day "that day" the message felt uplifting and meant a lot to me. 

 

 

When I get that feeling, I either steer clear or create more space. People emit vibes, and you can pick up on important things about their potential tendencies through those vibes. 

Ever get that 'uh oh' feeling around someone? I usually do a little vibe check and either gracefully sidestep or give 'em some extra breathing room. People, they radiate energy, you know? And sometimes, that energy screams 'potential trouble' louder than a toddler in a candy store. Haha. 

Now, I'm the first to admit, sometimes it's just me projecting my own anxieties onto them. So, a little self-reflection is always in order. But if that uneasy feeling lingers, and you're not sure if it's your imagination or not? Better safe than sorry, right? Time to politely excuse yourself and ponder the mysteries of the human aura.

Trust your intuition as you move along. Sometimes your intuition can bluff you though. So being cautious is the only advice. 

Also if someone is coming off as playing mind games, just dismiss them and avoid them at all costs, they are gonna be trouble sooner or later anyway. 

Side note - most people with good intentions actually make their intentions clear quite early on (in my experience). 

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Regarding today —

Saturday January 4th. 

There was a fight between my mom and sister early this morning and I felt upset after that. I still don't know how to deal with family instability. We are human beings not robots. We cannot be productivity machines 24/7.

We need space, healing, growth..

I had terrible nightmares when I was waking up today. In those nightmares I was fighting with a family member. 

Sometimes these family conflicts make my mental issues much worse. 

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Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

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I felt some bit of anxiety and frustration today from last night. My problems accumulating like dust on an old book. 

I have a long way to go and a long way into my emotional processing. One thing is to surround myself with supportive people and it is sometimes a struggle to maintain company between my problems, work, husband and family conflicts. It's like I'm stumbling and juggling at the same time. Some things are a part of life. You can't suddenly just get rid of them. Example - family. A toxic family is a huge drain. My husband knows this and understands this quite well. 

                                     

Some things I write about metaphorically. Because I like to be cryptic. Sometimes it's hard to be on the Internet. It can drain you a bit. I'm not saying it's a distraction - depends highly on how you use it. But it can take a life of its own and I don't think I'm alone in this boat. Generally for me to take up any project or work requires me to have an initial explosion of emotional barfing till I get it all off my chest. It's just how my neurotic brain works. Welcome. Lol. The internet has been amazing for my self esteem because I was dying in the dumps just rotting away not knowing when I will commit suicide. So the internet was a huge boon in regards to keeping me 1 minute away from suicide. Life was hard on me especially after my father died. It threw me into a downward spiral of depression because I intensely bonded with my father. I still deal with the loss and trauma of it. I hate when psychologists and therapists don't take this aspect of my life into consideration and treat it lightly. 

                                    

Sometimes you gotta ponder and ask yourself what is it that you want - do you want genuine company or do you want just validation for your own ego? That kind of contemplation helps. Some people can be mildly toxic, especially people who gossip a lot. They might appear harmless on top, that is from the outside but they kinda prove to be the gateway to more drama, like can openers (I hope you understand what I meant), I mean they appear to be completely innocent but not so innocent after all. They just gently push you over the cliff and then act like nothing really happened. You then wonder that they acted like starters of dispute. Like signalers. Usually gossipmongers think they are a smartass and tend to do this. Two years ago I told myself that I will never gossip again ever in life. That part of my moral and subtle integrity is perfect and intact. I never gossiped. Gossiping happens a lot in spiritual communities, what a shame. 

In that regard I like this thread. It helped me understand that others face similar issues. 

 

                                    

 

I also like this comment. 

Hmm well said there, I experienced this a lot, ever since I had my first awakening, I would observe and feel intense attraction coming from women, probably because I was more celibate at the time and not generating any sort of sexual need or energy, and yet at times when there was a potential union or mate, most would flee soon after, almost as if they were afraid of something so deep and intense. They rather continue to play with boys who aren't going to expose a lot of their shadows and darkness. They want the truth but only to a certain extent.

I noticed this in spiritual circles a lot, everyone wants the perfect Christ-like man, yet they themselves are not christ-like.

I like this sentence a lot. And it resonates with my thought. A lot of people in spiritual circles act like they are above everyone when they are not so Christ-like. 

                                  

Men can have commitment related issues. And women can have intimacy related issues. I noticed this. Women don't wish to open up and go deep suddenly. And it's perfectly understandable why. I myself feared going intense or deep with men. I had intimacy issues too. Like intimacy-phobic. 

I am getting better and better at opening up to my husband. But it takes some effort and time. Sometimes I just feel uncertain and aversion to opening up. 

Last night I opened up a shit ton with my husband, like two hours of communication. I must have exhausted him with my talk. Because it was so overwhelming for me, I had to get it off my chest and I did. And he appreciated that. This is the first time I opened up to him in such a  deep vulnerable way. I really wanted to say what I genuinely felt, no holds barred. 

                              

 

 

 

                              

I'm in the mood to write a lot. 

 

A note to Whitney —

• If you carry a lot of emotional, mental and psychological baggage, this forum can feel like a thunderbolt of confusion. 
• I'll describe in depth the honeymoon and relationship phase. 
• If you appear selfish in a conversation, it's never gonna work.
• If you don't care about people's expectations, why even bother to talk to them. 
• I have trust issues myself. I find it difficult to trust people so I don't open up much to internet strangers. 
• If you come from a place of humility everyone appreciates it. 
• Work on social calibration. Men should. 
• Also women screen for woman-friendly or woman - safe behavior. This is valid. A woman's prime focus in many areas of life is safety. It's a key survival concern. I agree with Leo on this that people's behaviors are rooted in survival. 
• I don't like to go too far into something if I'm not sure what I want to say. I don't want to jump the gun. Also strangers create an uncertainty in me which is valid. In fact most people have stranger phobia.
• According to me and my dating experience, men should work on four core things — woman-friendliness, social calibration, distance, comfort-space dynamic [creating a comfort space as well as giving space or room, Teal Swan explains this beautifully with her male containment video. I'll post about it later because I'm in the process of writing this post so I can't exit the screen while doing this] 
• I don't want to be a free therapist to anyone lol. In fact I'm the one who needs therapy the most. 
• Understand healthy narcissism. I need to integrate that a bit. 
• Emerald on the forum once told me that I lack masculinity and that I need to integrate the masculine into me. And she is right and I absolutely agree with her. 
• I always bring my microscopic radar out. 
• I think my husband overthinks a bit too. 

If I like someone and really appreciate them, I want to have a very honest relationship with them, like anyone male or female. I want to keep it as authentic as possible. I'm more vulnerable when I know deep down I can fully trust that person and they will honor my needs.. 

Often I have acted like a doormat in my life and I want to discontinue that pattern. 

 

 

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Note to Whitney —

• I should not get offended if someone is disrespectful to me. 
• I clear out my mental confusions and baggage. 
• I should not internalize other people's issues. ( I have done this in the past) 
• Women also need to learn a bit of game and social calibration. Helps. 
• Cut out distractions that don't help 
• Free up time to just feel better
• Sometimes I get paranoid and it's hard to put a lid on it 
• Don't expect much out of others. 
• A little bit of validation seeking is actually healthy and practical. 
• When someone doesn't appreciate you, f*** them. 
• Arrogance is never appreciated. 
• If I acted arrogant, nobody will like me. This is my own fault. 
• Humble people, young or old are always appreciated. It's the most important part of social calibration. Be humble. Never underestimate others. 
• Sometimes Humility is assumed to be weakness, this has happened a lot in my case and it infuriates me. How arrogance is considered more progressive. 
• I'm an old soul in a young body. 
• I'm not a boring person. My ex was just being a jerk. 
• There are men who admire humility and maturity just as there are women who admire character. 
•  
• I find it tough to differentiate between friendliness, unfriendliness and hostility due to my autism. 
• Language is limited in the expression of human emotions. 
• Don't waste yourself in rejections 
• Be around truly empathetic men and not triggering or fake empathy kind of men. 
• Too much criticism is a trap like Leo said. 
• Don't expect people to understand you when you are confusing them.
• If someone is acting hostile, don't give them your time and attention. 
• Most people especially on this forum are highly conscious. They are wonderful people
• If someone is playing social games, stay away from them. Silence is the answer. 
• Your energy doesn't match your actions. No offense lol. 
• Women are more vary around the fake "white knight" kind of men. They do everything for ego. Best avoided. 
• Don't take rejections seriously. Humble people will always try to talk and not act dismissive. Stay away from dismissive narcissists, best. 
• No need to be a doormat to anyone.
• I actually like haters more now. The real haters. Because they have some kind of fearlessness, logic, non-threatening demeanor, ownership, leadership, frankness and the Humility to talk again after a fight. I did not appreciate this before. I used to dismiss them as j**ks. But I don't anymore. I now realize that these people have more compassion than dismissive narcisists or fake white knights or judgemental triggering ass***es. 
• I am attracted to the core value of compassion. This makes perfect perfect sense since my heart is very compassionate deep down so it is perfectly sensible that I look for the compassion vibe in other people too. 
• All kinds of perspectives are valid in their own way. I should have the openness to accept this. 
• I'm very tempted to beauty and compassion and humility and forgiveness. Lovely combination in a person. It's timeless. Some things are truly timeless. 
• My failure means nothing. My character means everything. 
• Islam is inspiring in many ways. Islam has helped me in many aspects of life. 

 

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

The other concern that bothers me is this big fear that someone will harm or hurt me some day. Some days this fear feels real and other times I feel like it's just my paranoia and projection.

Will this really happen? 

What's the worst case scenario? 

Some of this fear is legit because the environment I live in. 

Some of this fear  is a part of my  borderline personality disorder and paranoia is a part of this disorder.. 

Stay cool — is my only advice.

I feel threatened constantly. It's not good for my mental health. 

I tend to fall asleep whenever I feel very depressed, uncomfortable or anxious. 

 

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Sometimes it's best to be alone and lonely and basking in my own solitude. 

Loneliness is beautiful too until you get bored of it. 

 

These days if my trauma becomes excessive, I just tend to completely shut down, it's like my body wants to retire completely. Last night I threw up because I got stressed out over something. 

I read this today on social media and I am like - how can people be so straightforward and how come I just can't do that? 

 

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

I have to deal with a couple of problems that are probably entangling each other. First I need to know what the hell is even going on? 

(this could have been addressed better in therapy) 

So wait a minute. 

I have to consider a couple of premises. 

Premise 1

I'm fundamentally attracted to people 

Premise 2

I feel that people will judge me so I don't tell them how I really feel 

Premise 3

I am actually bold inside like that straightforward post above from social media

Premise 4

I am afraid of being that bold in public with people because I feel it will cause a major backlash and people will consider me rude and I don't want that. This is a valid thought and not just a "feeling." 

Premise 5

I'm not being my authentic self around people although I claim to be. Funny and contradictory, amusing, self serving and kinda self sabotaging too.

Premise 6

I probably think too much or I'm probably too scared. 

Premise 7

People take me lightly and casually, break my boundaries and i feel hurt. 

Premise 8

I retaliate either strongly or with silence and that shows people the real me. 

........... 

I will ask chatgpt about this to get an accurate analysis on these premises and what they mean psychologically since I currently cannot hire a therapist due to money problems and I want a therapist to answer my questions and resolve my psychological dilemmas and struggles. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

So I asked chatgpt to do some psychoanalysis on my post above. And here is the answer from Chatgpt. Chatgpt the free therapist lol. 

 

 

Conversation with Chatgpt 

What conclusion do you draw from the following premises?

 

Based on these premises, it can be concluded that:

The individual experiences a significant internal conflict between their authentic self and their perceived social image. They desire genuine connection and open expression (Premise 1 & 3) but fear judgment and rejection (Premise 2 & 4). This internal conflict leads to self-sabotaging behavior (Premise 5).

Fear of social consequences plays a dominant role in their interactions. The individual, despite possessing inner boldness (Premise 3), suppresses it due to a strong fear of negative reactions (Premise 4). This fear manifests as excessive overthinking and potential anxiety (Premise 6).

The individual's suppressed authenticity leads to interpersonal issues. Their fear of judgment and subsequent guarded behavior (Premise 2) might contribute to others perceiving them as light and casual (Premise 7). This, in turn, can lead to boundary violations, causing hurt and triggering strong reactions (Premise 7 & 8).

In essence, the individual is trapped in a cycle of self-protection that ultimately hinders genuine connection and self-expression. Their fear of judgment prevents them from being their true self, which in turn leads to interpersonal issues that reinforce their fear.

Possible Solutions (Hypothetical):

Challenge the fear of judgment: Identify specific fears and assess their likelihood. Practice assertive communication in low-risk situations.

Build self-compassion: Acknowledge and accept the internal conflict. Practice self-forgiveness for past behaviors.

Develop healthy boundaries: Clearly communicate personal boundaries and learn to assert them respectfully.

Seek support: Consider therapy or support groups to explore these issues with a professional.

Disclaimer: This is a general interpretation based on the provided premises. For a deeper understanding and personalized guidance, it's crucial to consult with a qualified mental health professional.

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

So my husband analyzed my issue and this is what he has to say —

That I think too much about people. 

That I should be my authentic self whether people like or dislike it. 

That I should let myself feel the paranoia, not lose myself in it and analyse it rationally instead of succumbing to it. To feel it, acknowledge it, not to deny it but not succumb to it. 

I can sense some  paranoia + phobic behavior in me. 

It's like bad weather. Treat it like an entity that comes and then passes. 

Let the paranoia do it's thing and let it pass. 

Treat it as a part of yourself that comes and goes like bad weather. 

 

Edited January 4 by Buck Edwards