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Infinite Tsukuyomi

5-MeO-DMT First time experience

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I had my first 5-Meo-DMT trip three days ago and just got back to my computer. I made a 60 hour round trip in order to do so. I could have flew by plane, but wanted to have the contemplation time before and after, and driving helps me do so very well.

Pre Trip

I fasted for about 30hrs prior to the start of the trip, to avoid vomiting and crapping. I went for a long walk at the beach and a nearby park before heading back home. A bit of Kriya Yoga and meditation a couple hours before the facilitator arrived. 

The Trip Itself

Firstly, I had a facilitator who was accompanied by a musician. The three of us set up a safe space on the floor: a mattress, and pillows surrounding the mattress. We adjusted to a dim lighting in the room and then I got to know them both a bit. They each have done 5-Meo before. I explained my previous substances and trips which were in this order over last year: 2g psilocybin (first time to test), 6g psilocybin (breakthrough)[life is a play], 6g psilocybin [no self], 7.6g psilocybin [mostly me rolling around], 6g psilocybin [nothing for hours, then mild low dose effects], 1.2g psilocybin [interesting message] , NN DMT (a few hits from a pen, I was doing it wrong), NN DMT (5 deep hits from a pen)[unforgettable visuals, landscape altering].

Then we collaborated on dosage, I told her that it takes me medium-high doses to breakthrough from everything I've tried so far. She determined that I would do 60mg. I then requested it be split, so we did 20mg then 40mg. We used Toad 5-Meo.

The ceremony took place in this order:

A prayer

A meditation or contemplation on my death

Another prayer

A few minutes to evaluate and reaffirm to myself my intentions

20mg hit, where they both laid me back gently to see what would happen. There were no visuals that I could make out, before I closed my eyes. It felt like I was at my own funeral, my body was very relaxed. To me it seemed that my body surrendered and died almost willy-nilly. This did not phase me at all, as "I" was still there aware of it. 

I remember her calling my name, she asked how I was feeling and I said "Good". She asked if I wanted more and I quickly said yes. I sat up, opened my eyes and began to take the rest of the 5-Meo. At this point, the music was going. They laid me back down, by the time my head hit the pillow, I was blasted clean into infinity. I was undergoing what I'll call a rapid unraveling or infinite self-inquiry. I realize for the first time, what it was that I was actually seeking and asking for in inquiry and meditation. There was no conceivable way I would ever get here with those methods, I thought. In other words, it got really fucking real, really quick. The music is now synched perfectly with my experience, "I'm really going to die". I realized that I had broken my brain, I had broken reality and I was simultaneously horrified yet hungry for a resolution. I reached a point of UTTER INSANITY. At that point, I went back and forth closing and opening my eyes. I looked at the ceiling, then to the left at the musician whose music is the symphony of my annihilation, then to the right at the facilitator who smiled endlessly, then back closed. I felt that I was going away and that I wasn't coming back, the longer I endured, the Truer and Truer it became. "What the hell am I?" "How can it be this big?" "Holy Shit!". I sat up rapidly, and began to rub my face down to my thighs repeatedly. I smiled A LOT and laughed a lot and I completely lost my mind. Then I laid back one final time, endured longer then cracked under the insanity. I said "I think I've had enough". I don't actually remember the facilitator doing anything when I said that, but I know I stopped 'going away' at some point. They offered me rapé, which I declined. She asked if I wanted to discuss anything and I declined that as well, I simply didn't possess the vocabulary to express myself and I felt at the time that I didn't want to 'taint the experience'. I continued to alternate between the body wiping, Wows, laying down and sitting up. They allowed me to be still and silent for awhile. Eventually they began to interact a bit, she gave me some post trip advice such as: integration, journaling, waiting on other psychedelics for 30 days, eating, hydration etc.  I felt the my ego start to reform slowly, it was at that time I realized just how persistent it was. 

I had failed to let the experience consume me completely, as it seemed it would never resolve or rather more truly, I couldn't take more insanity. 

In the minutes and hours following the trip, I KNEW that I had to do it again, as I felt I didn't go 'all the way' or 'far enough'. These thoughts were a recurring theme, interspersed with awe, wonder, fear etc. As intense as it was, I couldn't abandon God realization until I've fully realized it. That's it for the report. I may remember other details if you ask me specific questions.

What's next for me? 

First of all, 5-Meo DMT is the ultimate tool. It's the no BS method, and there's an instant recognition of this. Now that I've tried it, it has made the manual techniques (meditation, self-inquiry) seem like a joke. Although I also had moments where I felt like they could produce or perhaps NOW they could. 

If I can get something set up logistically, I would like to use 5-Meo DMT until I can breakthrough. I have reserves of both psilocybin and NN DMT and will follow up with small doses in a month or so.

Some takeaways from Martin Ball combined with some takeaways from various Leo teachings I will implement are: Symmetry, surrender (do nothing work), more honestly and authentic self-expression.

 

 

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Very nice. Congrats.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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good job bud, I appreciate the detail of this report. I have tried 10 mg myself and am planning on my 20 mg dose soon 

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10 hours ago, Infinite Tsukuyomi said:

First of all, 5-Meo DMT is the ultimate tool. It's the no BS method, and there's an instant recognition of this. Now that I've tried it, it has made the manual techniques (meditation, self-inquiry) seem like a joke.

BIngo. It's a little sad that this is incommunicable to people with no experience.


It's Love.

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im glad your trip went well! only wasnt it distracting that the facilitator talked to you continuesly during the trip?

i just had my first experience as well, and i completely agree: i've been meditating intensly the last years, doing all sorts of spiritual practices, and to be quite honest, they seem like a complete joke right now. I've made decent progress through meditation, but i've only managed maybe 0,1% of what my 5MeO trip was, and i had a rather low dose.

feeling quite discouraged to meditate currently. Only benefit is that right now it promotes reactivations of 5meo lol.

further: Try some breathwork!!! i do 10-15 min of shamanic breathing (leo has a video on this), and it literally gives me probably 30-40% of the peak 5meo experience every time

 

Edited by emil1234

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On 1/2/2025 at 1:31 PM, Leo Gura said:

Very nice. Congrats.

Hhhhmmm thanks for telling as it is. 

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