Success makes me jealous

[Buck Edwards]

When my peers are successful in their careers, it makes me jealous. I don't feel inspired by them. Rather it discourages me that I'm not as successful as them. 

Sure I would want career success just like them but that would mean a ton of hard work that I can't do. I don't want to feel like a failure. 

I want a middle path. Where I can be happy with whatever little money I make. 

[PenguinPablo]

@Buck Edwards Ultimately you're not them. Maybe your friend is a fish and he can swim well. Perhaps you fly like a bird. Hence, it is a bad idea to compare yourself. You need to figure out what you are good at and can make a decent living from. This will take time. But taking the steps for your own journey. One that you can be proud of holds more weight. Even if your friends are "more successful".

The only thing that matters is that your successful at your individual path. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

1 hour ago, PenguinPablo said:

@Buck Edwards Ultimately you're not them. Maybe your friend is a fish and he can swim well. Perhaps you fly like a bird. Hence, it is a bad idea to compare yourself. You need to figure out what you are good at and can make a decent living from. This will take time. But taking the steps for your own journey. One that you can be proud of holds more weight. Even if your friends are "more successful".

The only thing that matters is that your successful at your individual path. 

 

That was quite uplifting. Thank you Pablo. 

[Marcel]

@Buck Edwards

I understand. It’s a natural feeling to have at times it’s important to not get stuck in them.

I would advise you to recalibrate your focus.

Get very clear on what it is you want and follow the arising steps dutifully. Every little continuous step is a little success in itself.

Slowly but surely the jealously of others will fade into appreciating your own process and results.

[Kairos]

3 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

 

Sure I would want career success just like them but that would mean a ton of hard work that I can't do. I don't want to feel like a failure. 

 

You WISH you were successful .

If you really WANTED you'd be willing to do whatever it takes .

The thing is you want the rewards of the success but not the work or pain to get there.

So I think you should write it down what you really want Comfort + Envy or Discomfort + Satisfaction . 

We are kinda similar in that regard I had to work on this myself too .

 

[Eph75]

@Buck Edwards

Consider this, it might not resonate with you, but it's something most people struggle with. 

I'd suggest it's an integrity issue, about knowing what your values are and being deliberately aligned with those values day-to-day basis. 

If you are very clear about your values and what you do to maintain and evolve around those values you are going to:

A) not be as affected by others as you clearly see what does and does not resonate with your values, and when it does resonate, it's closer to be inspirational fuel into your own personal interest and integrity.

When it doesn't resonate, it's easier to just acknowledge this as their success and simply move on, or even appreciate them for their accomplishments.

B) more likely be pursuing developing around those values of yours, which ultimately translates into success that is deeply aligned with what's integral to you, translating into sense of integrity. 

Remember that "success" can look very differently depending of what your values are. 

C) being clear about what integrity is for you, you can better sense when you're out of integrity and self-regulate towards returning into integrity. 

Being out of integrity isn't a good feeling, we know it when it happens, and it happen a lot. 

Calling it out needs understanding those values.

D) integrity not having anything to do with morale and what society wants from you, being in integrity can mean NOT pursuing success is a traditional sense, with career progression, status or monetary wealth and so on, in order to favor that which is in alightment with your values.

Integrity can exist in the mundane. 

And, finally, if you don't have a clear picture of what your values are, how your reality connects to those and what being in integrity thus means - which by the way is where ones calling and actualization comes into the picture - how can you be in integrity? 

Without this "purpose" defined, it's easy how others success can be threatening, not because it's about them, their success, what they do to be successful and so on - but - it's a reminder of you lacking definition of what integrity means to you, and you not staying in integrity in relation to your values.

Edited Thursday at 09:24 AM by Eph75

[Michael569]

Ignoring what other people do is the only way. Dont follow successful people, don't consume hustle culture content.

Focus on yourself, its always going to be you against you. Everything else is a distraction. If you can set aside some time every day for undisturbed time, you'll start noticing improvements relatively quickly. 

Also perhaps take a time off from the forum as this is often a productivity aimed place that could make you feel upset 🙂 you spent a lot of time here and lot of it could be causing harm especially where conversations tend to take confrontational direction

I find i get some of my best (creative) work done with a pen, peace of paper and complete disconnection (where possible) . I now use the Remarkable for it but works as well with just a notepad.

Edited Thursday at 02:06 PM by Michael569

[Greatnestwithin]

Usually jealosy can bring you to a deeper belief that might say something like " I can´t be successful" " Im nott worthy"  or something along those lines. Contemplate that the ability to feel great for someone's success can be a door to train your beliefs and nervous system to hold that possibility that you desire for you. @Buck Edwards

Edited Thursday at 02:11 PM by Greatnestwithin

[Hojo]

Its like being jealous at the rat running in the wheel.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

1 hour ago, Hojo said:

Its like being jealous at the rat running in the wheel.

Exactly this LOL unless the person won a lottery or was born rich, there is absolutely nothing to be jelaous of. Just a bunch of miserable slaves LOL

[Buck Edwards]

10 hours ago, Hojo said:

Its like being jealous at the rat running in the wheel.

It's not that simple. People who are successful appear happier. Why would they chase success otherwise? Also more success means more money and that translates to a better life overall. Who doesn't want that? 

8 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

Exactly this LOL unless the person won a lottery or was born rich, there is absolutely nothing to be jelaous of. Just a bunch of miserable slaves LOL

I respect your opinion but I disagree. Success is the fruit of hard work. I don't see them as miserable people. I see them gloating and celebrating their success online and offline. And I feel like a failure when they do it. It might feel like a chase or a hustle or a rat race. But if they were truly not deriving anything from it, they wouldn't do it in the first place. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

@Buck Edwards It really depends on what type of successfull people you are talking about. Are you talking about IG influencers? Celebrities? Popular Youtube content creators? Which one of them are you jelaous of? I think the deepest reason for that jelaousy is the freedom they get to enjoy, by escaping our modern rat race system of neo feudalism. But if you just understand that these people simply lucked out in many aspects of their life (don't believe the hard work myth) and that what you really want is the appearance of freedom they get to enjoy (they are still slaves in reality), you can strategically position yourself in life in such a way in which you become relatively free while not having to put in much work. If you just stop unfairly comparing yourself to these people then you can maybe start to think that way.