Boys Don't Cry. Girls Do.

[Emerald]

Just now, Thought Art said:

It’s a large part. 

It only feels that way because you're consciously focused on sex because sex is exciting... especially for men.

But that's not how a man falls in love and decides he wants to commit.

So if a woman focuses on the sex as a means to deepen the investment or commitment, it's not going to work.

Women get more invested in a man through sex because women fall in love with the release of Oxytocin. So, things like sex and cuddling and romantic gestures will deepen a woman's investment.

Men fall in love through the release of Vasopressin.

And the way to release Vasopressin is when facing the stress of solving a problem.

So, if you create more space and become more selective and create more challenge, men will respond to that because it gives the feeling he's earning and solving. Or if you solve a problem together or ask him to help you with a problem, this also leads to the release of Vasopressin.

So, men like sex... but don't deepen their investment because of it.

[Thought Art]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

Nice. Happy for you. Hope it turns out long-term (if that's what you want, anyway) and I hope you both have fun and good laughs.

I am speaking generally. 

[RendHeaven]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

He just likes to cherry pick, straw man, and move goalposts to win arguments.

It's annoying. I sometimes wonder if he knows he's doing it or if it's just a reaction.

It's not about winning arguments necessarily. He doesn't view any of this as an argument.

His telos is to expose bias. All other needs (like human connection) get bulldozed towards that means.

It's nothing personal. He doesn't actually disagree with you. Every goalpost-shift boils down to "you're still biased"

You could shut him up in one sentence: "Yeah I might be biased. I'll contemplate it"

Of course, you don't want to do that, because by your own admission, you would rather feel understood.

Which makes perfect sense. You don't owe him anything, you're free to express your agenda however you want.

[Princess Arabia]

6 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I also don’t think this is true. I think we overplay how much guys are players. But, again girls and guys can sleep around too. 

You just told me you had sex with 4 or 5 girls in one month before her and you chose her. I wonder how the others are feeling. I'm not calling you a player, but having sex with that many girls in a month says, you only stuck around once or twice. You made my point. If the others are still around then that would make you a player. Nothing wrong with sleeping with 5 girls in a month but that doesn't show sticking around, no matter the reason, so women are cognizant of that and may not open up the first time as much.

Edited Sunday at 07:26 AM by Princess Arabia

[Thought Art]

@Emerald Yeah, I don’t know. 
 

“Man, I love this girl, she asked me to open a jar”…

No. I am falling in love with her face, smile, breasts, taste in fashion, energy. Do we laugh? Is there sexual tension? Does she smell and taste good? Do we get along? Is she stable mentally? Like, there is a huge complex of factors and a lot of them for me are subconscious. 
 

The most in love I’ve been, and my deepest attractions have a lot to do with her looks, intelligence and the co-efficiencies of our personality. There is something there. 
 

But, again sexuality is huge. Not just fucking. But, the sexuality that runs through it all. 

[Twentyfirst]

Everything these feminists are saying is wrong and removed from actual reality. Remember if you want to catch a fish you ask the fishermen not the fish itself 

 

And never listen to a woman criticizing the manosphere if she can’t acknowledge the horrific results of feminism at the same time. The two go hand in hand and if you criticize only one you are part of the problem 

[RendHeaven]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

No. I am falling in love with her face, smile, breasts

Hey now.

 

 

 

You can't just say the true part out loud now

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Everything these feminists are saying is wrong and removed from actual reality. Remember if you want to catch a fish you ask the fishermen not the fish itself 

 

And never listen to a woman criticizing the manosphere if she can’t acknowledge the horrific results of feminism at the same time. The two go hand in hand and if you criticize only one you are part of the problem 

Where are the feminists. Not sure. I don't see any feminists in this discussion.

[Twentyfirst]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

Where are the feminists. Not sure. I don't see any feminists in this discussion.

You and emerald. I can spot a feminist a mile away. By feminist I mean you have been programmed by feminist ideology whether you know it or not. I come from a very traditional old school background so it’s super easy for me to spot 

 

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

It's not about winning arguments necessarily. He doesn't view any of this as an argument.

His telos is to expose bias. All other needs (like human connection) get bulldozed towards that means.

It's nothing personal. He doesn't actually disagree with you. Every goalpost-shift boils down to "you're still biased"

You could shut him up in one sentence: "Yeah I might be biased. I'll contemplate it"

Of course, you don't want to do that, because by your own admission, you would rather feel understood.

Which makes perfect sense. You don't owe him anything, you're free to express your agenda however you want.

You're giving too much credit for dirty debate tactics.

He frequently uses a combination of cherry picking, straw man arguments, and moving the goal posts when engaging in arguments on any given topic.

He'll cherry pick a random sentence in the argument that he considers to be the weakest or easiest to attack sentence of the whole argument.

Then, he'll frame a straw argument around that "easiest to attack" sentence and misrepresent the position of the person he's debating against.

Then, he'll move the goal posts to arguing about the straw man argument.

Pay attention and you'll notice.

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

You and emerald. I can spot a feminist a mile away. By feminist I mean you have been programmed by feminist ideology whether you know it or not. I come from a very traditional old school background so it’s super easy for me to spot 

 

I thought a feminist fights for or believes in equality and believes she's equal to a man and wants equal pay and the whole shebang of the feminist movement. Is that what Emerald and I are projecting? Wasn't aware of that. We're merely stating and expressing our feelings about relationships and the opposite sex. I don't see any feminists movement ideologies being expressed in this thread, but you're entitled to your opinion. 

Edited Sunday at 07:35 AM by Princess Arabia

[Thought Art]

Why do bed bugs bite in 3s?

[Twentyfirst]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

I thought a feminists fights for equality, and believes she's equal to a man and wants equal pay and the whole shebang of the feminist movement. Is that what Emerald and I are projecting? Wasn't aware of that. We're merely stating and expressing our feelings about relationships and the opposite sex. I don't see any feminists movement ideologies being expressed in this thread, but you're entitled to your opinion. 

Of course you don’t see it. You aren’t trained like me to spot even a slight hint of it a mile away. But I’m telling you you both are 

Feminist women love arguing with men. You could just say “okay I don’t think I am but since a man is telling me then that must mean I am, or why else would he mention it” 

Thats the problem with feminism. Women are always gonna be followers but now in this new world instead of following men they follow the government and social media 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

@Princess Arabia But we all know every single woman here is a feminist anyway, I guarantee you have many feminist viewpoints. Especially Emerald

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

You're giving too much credit for dirty debate tactics.

He frequently uses a combination of cherry picking, straw man arguments, and moving the goal posts when engaging in arguments on any given topic.

He'll cherry pick a random sentence in the argument that he considers to be the weakest or easiest to attack sentence of the whole argument.

Then, he'll frame a straw argument around that "easiest to attack" sentence and misrepresent the position of the person he's debating against.

Then, he'll move the goal posts to arguing about the straw man argument.

Pay attention and you'll notice.

I've noticed. 

[RendHeaven]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

dirty debate tactics.

Again, not a debate.

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Pay attention and you'll notice.

It feels this way to you because you can't fathom what it's like to have Leo's inhuman POV

I am not "team Leo" btw.

[RendHeaven]

3 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Women are always gonna be followers but now in this new world instead of following men they follow the government and social media 

lmao whatchu smokin bro

[Leo Gura]

By feminist he means: woman who leaves the kitchen

[Buck Edwards]

A man who cried in the most meaningful way. 

 

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@Emerald Yeah, I don’t know. 
 

“Man, I love this girl, she asked me to open a jar”…

No. I am falling in love with her face, smile, breasts, taste in fashion, energy. Do we laugh? Is there sexual tension? Does she smell and taste good? Do we get along? Is she stable mentally? Like, there is a huge complex of factors and a lot of them for me are subconscious. 
 

The most in love I’ve been, and my deepest attractions have a lot to do with her looks, intelligence and the co-efficiencies of our personality. There is something there. 
 

But, again sexuality is huge. Not just fucking. But, the sexuality that runs through it all. 

The first-hand experience of attraction is multifaceted from the male perspective... and the female perspective too.

But if you're a woman and you want a committed partner who invests in you and you try to do so through improving fashion, make-up, smell, taste, intellect, sex, etc. it's not going to work.

It will work for the initial attraction but not for the deeper investment into longterm relationship.

In order for the man to invest in a woman, there already has to be an alignment. And these dynamics that you described showed you there's chemistry and alignment.

But if a woman is up in her head and trying to over-give and earn the man's affection, she will push him away... even if things otherwise would have gone deeper.

But if she's receptive and there's alignment, then the relationship can deepen.

This is practical advice for women so that don't over-invest in a guy who's not into them... and to let go of control and get out of "earning" and "giving" mode so that the aligned guy feels there is space to connect and invest.

So, these are what works from a woman's perspective as it helps women avoid situationships and move on from low-investment guys and have the best possible chances with a guy who's aligned.

A big part of this is focusing on what you want rather than who you want... so it takes the man off of the pedestal, which men tend to be repelled by.