Boys Don't Cry. Girls Do.

[Candle]

Why is it okay for a woman to cry, but not for a man?

I cry whenever I need to (when I'm overwhelmed). But a few times before, I looked in the mirror and instantly stopped crying; it felt so ugly to see myself cry. 

If I were a female, it wouldn't be the case. 

When movie actors (males) cry, it feels okay. 

Is it social conditioning or biology? Why tears seem so ugly on a man's face? 

I feel good or emotional seeing a woman cry. 

 

 

Edited Thursday at 04:22 PM by Candle

[Buck Edwards]

I usually allow my partner to cry. I like vulnerability in men. I feel comfortable that way, especially knowing he shared everything with me openly through his emotions, it makes me feel safer and easier to understand him. Also I like the feeling that he considers and trusts me enough to share with me so I always encourage him. 

[manuel bon]

@Candle for me it's not like that, I feel no pressure when I cry, I know I'm not the most beautiful person when I do but I don't care.

The problem I have is another one. I want to cry more often but I'm like emotionally blocked 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp-2Kidp2CQ

 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Candle said:

Why is it okay for a woman to cry, but not for a man?

Cause one has a pussy and the other does not.

Don't overthink it.

[Malekakisioannis]

There are tear glands in pussylips.

[The Crocodile]

It's all about the gender dynamics. A boy with a bussy can cry because functionally he's like a girl.

 

Otherwise there needs to be some excuse, like if "it's profound" or if he's just an unhinged lunatic.

[Schizophonia]

Men cry much less, it requires heavier stressors.

[Hsinav]

Crying often serves womens survivial agenda and undermines mens.

[Hojo]

Its not okay its just a lie. Whoever told you that is a liar and severely traumatized themselves. Its obviously social conditioning. Its not ugly when a man cries thats a warped mind.

Edited Wednesday at 10:20 PM by Hojo

[Emerald]

There are many adaptations that are no longer fit to our societal structure that have created and maintained taboos against male weakness.

When you live in a pre-industrial world where everything is open to the elements and the societal infrastructure is lacking, men have to serve as the infrastructure and container that keeps the elements out so that the women and children can be safe.

And in these settings, there is not much room to the physically stronger ones of the species to be tender and in touch with their emotions because they must harden themselves and even kill to survive.

But in our current level of societal development, the role that men used to play is borne out by other structures and institutions. And we are much safer now than we've ever been before.

So, men also get to be inside the container... instead of serving as the container itself.

And that gives men more space to tune into their feelings and cry and work through psychological pain... and to be more integrated with their Feminine side.

But people who haven't evolved their paradigm to align with the current state of society will see these changes in a negative light and still hold taboos against men expressing their emotions because they are still attached to operating off of pre-industrial agrarian adaptations and gender roles.

And they will feel intense disapproval at male tears because there's a sense of "Who will protect the village from the tyranny of the neighboring village?" and "Who will kill the meat?"

Similarly to women individuating from the relational roles of wife and mother... men developing emotional heath and psychological wholeness is a symptom of collective community-actualization.

And community actualization on this level is only possible as the societal structure develops and rigid adherence to gender roles is no longer required to survive.

But if you get pushback from people about showing your emotions... just remember that that's a sign that they're still functioning off of the agrarian peasant-paradigm. And they will not see the value of it because men showing their emotions doesn't fit with their worldview.

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

There are many adaptations that are no longer fit to our societal structure that have created and maintained taboos against male weakness.

When you live in a pre-industrial world where everything is open to the elements and the societal infrastructure is lacking, men have to serve as the infrastructure and container that keeps the elements out so that the women and children can be safe.

And in these settings, there is not much room to the physically stronger ones of the species to be tender and in touch with their emotions because they must harden themselves and even kill to survive.

But in our current level of societal development, the role that men used to play is borne out by other structures and institutions. And we are much safer now than we've ever been before.

So, men also get to be inside the container... instead of serving as the container itself.

And that gives men more space to tune into their feelings and cry and work through psychological pain... and to be more integrated with their Feminine side.

But people who haven't evolved their paradigm to align with the current state of society will see these changes in a negative light and still hold taboos against men expressing their emotions because they are still attached to operating off of pre-industrial agrarian adaptations and gender roles.

And they will feel intense disapproval at male tears because there's a sense of "Who will protect the village from the tyranny of the neighboring village?" and "Who will kill the meat?"

Similarly to women individuating from the relational roles of wife and mother... men developing emotional heath and psychological wholeness is a symptom of collective community-actualization.

And community actualization on this level is only possible as the societal structure develops and rigid adherence to gender roles is no longer required to survive.

But if you get pushback from people about showing your emotions... just remember that that's a sign that they're still functioning off of the agrarian peasant-paradigm. And they will not see the value of it because men showing their emotions doesn't fit with their worldview.

Testosterone directly inhibe ability to cry .

[Schizophonia]

When you take exogenous testosterone or other androgenic compounds, at a certain amount you literally lose the ability to cry. You can be very sad but it never really comes. 🤔

[Emerald]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

Testosterone directly inhibe ability to cry .

I've seen a lot of men cry.

I've been a life-coach for 6.5 years and worked with 600+ clients, and about 60% of my clients are male. And tears are not uncommon with either gender.

So, I genuinely don't know if there's much of a biological discrepancy when it comes to crying... or if that's just one of those societal mores.

[Realms of Wonder]

5 hours ago, manuel bon said:

@Candle for me it's not like that, I feel no pressure when I cry, I know I'm not the most beautiful person when I do but I don't care.

The problem I have is another one. I want to cry more often but I'm like emotionally blocked 

Same here. I would cry more if my mind would let me.

I have lots of work to do.

[Leo Gura]

If a man is seen crying by his teammates, he will lose all their respect or even be beaten or killed.

There's not room for crying like girl on the battlefield.

Man's function is to get difficult things done. Not to cry about it.

Police don't have time to cry, they gotta shoot a knife-wielding lunatic 10 times in the chest within a split second.

Watch some of those police cam videos and you see why men are not allowed to cry.

Edited Wednesday at 11:00 PM by Leo Gura

[Emerald]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

If a man is seen crying by his teammates, he will lose all their respect or even be beaten or killed.

There's not room for crying like girl on the battlefield.

The important phrase here is "on the battlefield."

In difficult situations where one must kill and die, there is no room for emotions or weakness.

But if a man avoids crying and showing other emotions in day-to-day life, it will be terrible for his mental health and it won't benefit himself or anyone else. 

It will just come out in anti-social behavior and maladaptive coping mechanisms that have a negative effect on himself, his family, and society at large.

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The important phrase here is "on the battlefield."

Yes, but "battlefield" is a much broader notion than just a literal warzone.

Battlefield includes the business world, the dating field, sports, and much more.

A man cannot be a pussy.

Quote

But if a man avoids crying and showing other emotions in day-to-day life, it will be terrible for his mental health

Yes. That's the cost of being a man.

Edited Wednesday at 11:07 PM by Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

 

[Emerald]

19 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, but "battlefield" is a much broader notion than just a literal warzone.

Battlefield includes the business world, the dating field, sports, and much more.

A man cannot be a pussy.

Yes. That's the cost of being a man.

That's a really unhealthy way of thinking about manhood.