An International Path To The Infinite. (what Else We Gunna Do!?)

[Spence94]

I left home (England) after graduating 6 months ago and have now found myself in China, teaching. I am 22 and I have been watching Leo's videos for about a year and a half but I think I have reached a point where I am in need of some serious application. I am on track to finish Leo's Life Purpose course soon but in short I have aspirations of being a yoga and meditation teacher in the distant future. I have realized that I need to install a lot of the basics of Self-Actualization such as Positive thinking, visualization, mindfulness practice, cleaning up my diet, and a study habit in order to pursue the more advanced material in a more serious manner. I wanted to create this, mainly just to help me to stop dreaming shit up and start working towards creating the life I want. I want to inspire and help others find the beauty in this thing called life and hopefully this is where it begins.

At present I have no plan for a specific format for this journal, but I see it having ( or soon to have) a few components: - a general track and update on my daily habits, current projects and goals for Self-Actualization in various areas of my life

- Musing and thoughts on Leo's content and my own application of theory and concepts

- An ever evolving journey into my Kundallini Kriya yoga practice and pursuit of yoga/meditation mastery

- Thoughts and insights on Consciousness, Awareness and Enlightenment.

- General musings about life, this path, my evolution, what I get up to and how bloody silly the whole show is.

 

Currently working on:

- Installing reading, exercise/yoga, healthy eating, early rising, visualization habits.

- Pursuit of: - Emotional Mastery, Consciousness, enlightenment, Mastery of yoga, meditation. - Happiness - Empowering relationships - Life Purpose

Learning Mandarin. Health and fitness, Reading a shit tone of books.

Overall: A pursuit of Self-Mastery and having a bit of fun and a giggle along the way.

 

I will refine the format of this journal as I go.

 

I hope you find some value here and I welcome you into my journey. May we evolve together.

One love, my Self-Actualization brethren's and sistrens!

Peace.

   Spencer.

[Not me]

Damn dude this sounds exciting! I'm looking forward to see you progress .

[Spence94]

Funnily enough, my desire to stop dreaming shit up and  start taking action, led to my action involving dreaming shit up. I took to really getting beneath Leo's Vision, Sage and latest videos regarding the big picture and how to get started with Self-actualization. The first thing i noticed was the definite power of making a study of valuable material. Taking notes, re-watching the videos, mapping it out and even drawing flash cards and bouncing around my room like a lunatic so that shit "sinks" into my nervous system. This seems to have given me a deeper understanding of how this path will play out with more depth, on top of  the better knowledge of the material itself. 

So "i have the path". I've kind of mapped out a Communist style 5 year plan and it's time to take some steps. It begins with the removing of my seeming potent YouTube wormhole addiction that can't help but suck me in. "Oh this is important... that thumbnail is definitely vital, this upcoming recommended video is 100% what i NEED to know right NOW!" I think i have a problem. Combine this with the fact that even some how landing myself in a relationship with an incredible girl can't eradicate the occasional trip down Pornography lane once and for all (who woulda thought!). I've realized things need conscious  intention, awareness and focus.

On the upside though, i meditated for 3 hours today. I feel high as fuck. With longer sessions, once you break the wall and do them consistently they start to become as bearable as shorter ones. However when i resort back from 1 hour to say 40 minutes, it doesn't take long for those quick paced 40 minutes sessions to start feeling like eternity again. It definitely encourages me to make a commitment to habitually longer sessions in my day, as i find my focus, happiness and productivity are all greatly increased. It definitely creates more time than it takes. It's just a case of grinding over that wall/plateau like so many other things i guess. i will be careful to make the increase a bit more gradual though. 

Installing that habit is one of the things on my nice colorless mind map that i did some reverse engineering with. This is my attempt to lock in the things i want to get accomplished in order to move me towards the vision/ this specific plan. I wont bore you with more details of that just yet though.

I have taken a lot from Leo's Life purpose course, however i have decided against articulating my life purpose in one sentence  and choosing a specific field of Mastery ( for now). I am moving in a direction that feels like it is infused with a new sense of purpose and clarity. However i feel the path itself will better reveal my true purpose to me over the coming years as i move in the direction my heart is pulling me, i conduct some experiments and gain some life experiences to gain a greater understanding of my strengths, authentic self and desires.

This did mean that i dipped in and out of that course, didn't follow it completely linearly, and there are still bits i need to fully cover. Saying that, for me its probably a good thing, i am beginning to trust myself a bit, take my own initiative, think a bit more and not follow the words of Leo and others so blindly, which is a very easy thing to do.

In the words of Oasis, sometimes you need to "Just take what you need, and be on your way". 

Till next time 

Peeeeace. 

[Spence94]

Update.

Realising my life is short, realisations to do whatever the fuck i wanna do instead of all the things i think i should do. Practicing slowing shit down, accepting myself and inspiring myself.

Feeling grateful for these beautiful surroundings and rivers i can swim in. This wonderul town in Southern China is a great place to call home...for now.

Been absorbing into 'how to be a strategic motherfucker'. Going to use it as a strong foundation for all else, as the definition of strategy expands way beyond thinking and planning. Initial realisations are, that there is no right and wrong. I can focus myself inwards while at the same time having a foot outside. I can act to become whatever i want. I was being sucked into an Actualized.org ideology or 'yoga' ideology, but i was failing to see the true aim of the teachings. I am in charge. In the world, not of the world.

Transcendence of self and an orientation from a deeper connection to that which is underlying all, does not mean the destruction of the self. I was failing to see the way. As Sharon salzburg put it "we dont just become soup!"

Edited October 28, 2017 by Spence94

[Spence94]

One year later.... Merry christmas

I recently watched Leos big picture videos and thesubfields video and the 65 principles of the good life. Watching these videos made it seem easy... well it grounded the whole thing in a simple idea of don't be fucking lazy because the high level overview of the path is kinda right there. I am going to give this journal another shot as i had a thought about the usefulness of engaging with the Actualized.org community in this forum could be for me...

So i will start using it again, at least that what i am writing right now and telling you. You can read this, or don't. I am basically always starting again. it always feels like i am moving backwards and starting things again, i dunno. It's like i look at my old approach and realise how stupid it was and take a step back but kinda go forward.

Anyways, its basically like i wrote in the first post in regards to what i am up to.

So i would like to think i will start updating this more often, but who knows. Maybe it will be frequent or maybe it will be another year or two....

Maybe i will begin a new one because i wanna start fresh with a new title.

-I teach English in a Chinese primary school

- I am trying to learn Mandarin Chinese

- I practice kundalini kriya yoga as well as a mixture of Hatha, ashtanga, vinyasa yoga.( Asana, Pranayama)

- i have learned and practice some Tai chi and Qigong here in China

- I love nature and its affect on my body, mind and soul.

-I sometimes use gymnastic rings

- I love to swim, move and lift

- I want to start reading a lot more books

- i want to master all of my life and its many areas really

 

my current intuitions are:- focus on my health, nutrition and consistent Yoga, meiditation and exercise.

-give more value to learning another language and living in a radically different culture. It is an amazing life experience and opportunity that i would be foolish to watch slip past me without embracing and soaking in for all its worth. It is a technique and tool for self actualizing in and of itself and is not a separate thing. life is to be lived and experienced. what use is all this self actualization if it is removed from the world and our day to day lives and experiences. There aint nothing like being in the market place...

- actually gain some mastery over my emotions

- install habbit of going to bed early... rising with the sun.

-eat more broccoli and avocado.

- start just reading more frequently and immersing in the study of personal development. yoga, History, life,

- choose some subfields/ definite techniques to focus on and not get bogged down by the weight and seeming huge task that is self actualizing.

-put more attention on building my career/ mission in life, getting clearer on it, Reading and researching about business, money and marketing, move towards having traction in a lifes purpose/mission to fuel my self actualization. Getting some inner game down in these areas.

Anyways, i hope this time round the journal can help keep the oil running and the nuts and bolts in place. I feel the commitment to the persuit of self mastery more in my bones now. Let's see............. 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 25, 2018 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Update: 5+ years on the path. Currently revisiting Leo's 4 parts surrounding not being a victim. Amazing how much sometimes you just have to go out and live a little to gain the life experience and maturity to be able to more deeply grasp things. Making so much more sense on such a deeper level now. Seeing the benefits of my yoga practice pay off in terms of space and awareness within my Self to digest the juiciness of wisdom.

For now, I've replaced yoga Asana with Tai chi and Qigong. I still live in China and have felt the intuition to embrace these ancient practices while I am here both for my own health and growth and to more fully tune into the vibration of China, its language and people. So far it's doing so, things are oppening up and channeling more gracefully. Tai chi and Qigong when practiced regularly is deep, profound, and energising beyond words. Not to mention just a grounded sense of stability and confidence that has emerged in my day to day life and dealing with people.

Until next time. Peace and Love.

Edited February 24, 2021 by Spence94

[Spence94]

I am feeling the strongest desire to utilise the actualized.org forum and this journal than I have ever felt. Last month there was a major shift in awareness of Self. Once again, it feels like this path has only just begun. There is no I in control in anymore. This is not me. This is just happening, here I am.

Edited March 1, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Final meeting of a 6 week support group tonight. We discussed all things life and self actualization. After each session I led some yoga or tai chi with the group.  The early stages of my teaching career. Need to finish up my TTC. Have some other teaching opportunities lined up for the Spring. 

A loved one of mine past away on Monday night. I am heartbroken but also at peace. May she rest in peace. I will remember her every time I look at the buddhas on my table. She was into Buddhism. I can feel her presence today. I feel more connected to her than ever before. She will be here with me everyday, looking down at me. She will be my guiding star in this life until we meet again. I love you. 

Edited March 2, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Goals:

• Practicing yoga every single day.
• Full time yoga teacher. Building a 6 figure income through teaching yoga.
• Highly proficient Mandarin Chinese fluency. 10,000+ word vocabulary.
• Radiant health and strength.
• Be a multi millionaire.
• Buying a house.
• Buying a Tesla.
• Realizing God.
• Self-Actualizing.
• Happiness. Bliss. Peace. Calm. Joy.
• Attracting my Dream girlfriend and high quality intimate relationship.
• Starting a concious awakened family in 10 or so years from now.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Meeting with Nicolas my Life coach tomorrow.  Need to discuss Health.

新的中文词： 其实 actually

                        其他 other

                        奇怪 strange

Previously i didn't have the patience for concious study of Chinese words. Chinese didn't nourish my soul like the wisdom in a book or a podcast did. Now though, something has changed, this language is becoming a part of my being. It nourishes me. Every word is a seed into my soul and i just observe the changes in my daily reality. I notice a new word on TV, or in conversation. A word I studied last week naturally bubbles up from my heart and off my tounge in a conversation. There is no force. 无为 wu2 wei2. Two second tones. let things take their own course. Surrender to the 道. Nature. We are just blooming and blossoming flowers going through the seasons with the bees.

[Spence94]

Final Fantasy X. 

 

We spoke about the new Matrix last night. It's a video game. 

Edited March 2, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Current book: Autobiography of a yogi

[Spence94]

She loved Asia. She loved the Buddha. Why couldn't I see?

Heartbreak. Sadness. Grief. Guilt. Anger.

Edited March 2, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

I didn't do enough.

[Spence94]

It happened so fast.

[Spence94]

Right here with me, everyday. My guiding star. Rest in peace. Rest in power. May your next life be one of even more love, joy, laughter, peace, happiness, health and awakening. All my love for all of eternity.❤?

[Spence94]

May you be liberated of all suffering. May you attain to Nirvana. May you become Bodhisattva. 

 

Heart Sutra:

Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Bodhisvaha 

❤?

Edited March 2, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Life coaching session later today:

Nan

Intrinsic health

Survival

Time

Expanding the network

Finishing the TTC for my Self

The coming of spring. Sowing the seeds.

Edited March 3, 2022 by Spence94

[Spence94]

Mindful walk home alongside the trees before rush hour begins. Coaching always leaves me at peace and feeling confident.  Accepting the now. Optimism around the future.  Grateful to have that space to share, especially this week. Bought some vegetables at the market, going home to cook.

[Spence94]

Final Fantasy X

Tidus is from a world without Sin. A world without suffering. He is so innocent, childlike and fearless.

Spira is a world of suffering with 10 year calms once sin is defeated. Sin is like a 500 ton weight on the mind.

Sphere grid. Now that's some satisfaction.

"So what if it is all just happening in your head harry? Does that make it any less real?" -Dumbledore