Toxic dating works better and it's killing me - how to stay authentic?

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Phht!!!

Hny my black hottie. 

Edited December 31, 2024 by Schizophonia

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

We're not afraid to delve right in

We just jump right into the beds of toxic men.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

We just jump right into the beds of toxic men.

😘

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Happy new year my black hottie. 

Same to you my French pappi. Lol

[AION]

Women will never give what you want. They will only give what you already have. 

So if you have self approval they will grant you approval. 
If you like yourself they will like you too. 
if you dislike yourself they will dislike you too. 

Everything you give to a women, and she accepts. She multiplies. This also happens with when you give her your sperm. She gives you a baby. 

 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

4 minutes ago, AION said:

Women will never give what you want.

You could have just left it at that. That's how it is

[AION]

4 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

You could have just left it at that. That's how it is

You are better off focusing on character building instead of focusing on what you can get like sex or a relationship.
 

If you have this strong identity you will become like a magnet. Because your highest desire is not pussy. It is self actualization aka desiring to become yourself instead of desiring to get some  

 

If you don’t have this individuating identity, in the eyes of a girl, you are just a boy in a grown ass body. 

Edited December 31, 2024 by AION

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

@AION LOL no woman gives a shit about character

[AION]

Just now, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

@AION LOL no woman gives a shit about character

If you have no character. You are boring as hell. And the worst thing you can do is bore her. 
 

Having no character is the worst. 
 

Having a bad character is much better. At least you are not boring. 
 

But the best is to have a strong character with some edgy parts. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

@AION This is all cope. There is only one actual character, which is your face. And height, for good measure

[ricachica]

Threads like these make me wonder how many men have just platonic female friends…cause it sounds like many don’t even have that. I feel as though if you can’t even make a simple female friend, it’d be more difficult to actually understand females more in a dating sense…lots of misunderstandings between the sexes by being too far removed from each other in a personal way.

[Leo Gura]

24 minutes ago, AION said:

If you have no character. You are boring as hell.

Charisma and character are different things.

You can be boring and have character. You can be charismatic and have no character.

Of course women are not attracted to character. Men are also not attracted to character. You don't watch porn for her great character.

Edited December 31, 2024 by Leo Gura

[AION]

@Leo Gura

It depends on the definition.  
 

For me charisma is about high vibe energy and the ability to express it. 
 

In my head I would put charisma under character i.e personality 

But I see that in the English language, character is used for moral standing and integrity. In that case I agree that character is not needed for attraction. 
 

I guess I should have used the word personality instead of character 

Edited December 31, 2024 by AION

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

@ricachica There is no benefit from having female friends whatsoever, other than fullfilling a general need for socializing and talking to someone, and confirming the things that are already known about them. They won't help you in any other way whatsoever, if anything they can be kinda annoying

[Princess Arabia]

21 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course women are not attracted to character. Men are also not attracted to character. You don't watch porn for her great character.

Please don't group us with your "no character attractor factor". That's why porn is male dominated. We do care and are attracted to character and personality. 

[Princess Arabia]

34 minutes ago, ricachica said:

Threads like these make me wonder how many men have just platonic female friends…cause it sounds like many don’t even have that. I feel as though if you can’t even make a simple female friend, it’d be more difficult to actually understand females more in a dating sense…lots of misunderstandings between the sexes by being too far removed from each other in a personal way.

True. I love when guys have platonic female friends. Shows they love women and can get along with them; as long as they also have male friends and the female friends aren't the majority because that can go on either extreme, gay or a philanderer. 

[The Crocodile]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

We just jump right into the beds of toxic men.

 

"We just jump right into the beds of toxic men." --Leo Gura

[Emerald]

Recognize that this is just what you fear to be true... but not what's actually true. These types of videos are specifically trying to farm engagement by telling men that their biggest fears about women are true.

But if you look around you, you will see that it's not true at all. You just fear that it's true because it activates your pre-existing shame wounds.

And you can't have a healthy functional relationship if you're operating in a toxic way.

But if there's a woman with abandonment trauma, being cold and distant will trigger that trauma wound and she's start going into her own trauma cycle to try to keep you. But she'd only be projecting her relationship with her parents onto you.

And you wouldn't want a relationship based off of that type of manipulation tactic in the first place. You shouldn't have to play games if the person is really a good fit for you.

And in terms of biology, there are two different hormonal dynamics that are associated with the different phases of a relationship.

In the first phase, it's all about those exciting crushy feelings which is facilitated by a mixture of norepinephrine, dopamine, phenylethylamine, oestrogen and testosterone. That's the first 3 months of the relationship, and it creates all these hot and spicy feelings.

But this cocktail of emotions dies out in a few months, if it's a healthy relationship. If it's unhealthy, the excitement will stay because there's so much anxiety and uncertainty.

But if it's a healthy relationship, that hormonal cycle will subside in a few months. And then, the hormone oxytocin will take its place, which is responsible for bonding. And it's very calm and cuddly feeling... and it's less exciting but even more addictive than the previous cocktail of emotions.

And this facilitates the deeper bonding of a relationship. But the addictiveness can wear off if the relationship lacks intimacy and affection... which is what happens if partners behave in a cold way.

Edited Wednesday at 01:20 AM by Emerald

[Natasha Tori Maru]

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Please don't group us with your "no character attractor factor". That's why porn is male dominated. We do care and are attracted to character and personality. 

Going to 100% agree with this.

Leo isn't considering the breadth of what individuals can be attracted to.

Not even thinking about demi-sexuals.

I have no sex drive unless emotionally engaged/connected to a person.

This emotional engagement doesn't have much to do with appearance.

I wish I could show examples of the variety in attractiveness of men I have had relationships with.

I find this whole thing quite amusing.

You have women here expressing their experience/preference. Then Leo attempting to tell the rest of the men about what is attractive for a woman. Using the lens of pickup. Theres a funny word I could use here... 'Mansplain' 

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

You have women here expressing their experience/preference. Then Leo attempting to tell the rest of the men about what is attractive for a woman. Using the lens of pickup. Theres a funny word I could use here... 'Mansplain' 

Any time I explain general dynamics of attraction, some woman comes along and says, "Not me!"

This is irrelevant to what is being discussed. Dynamics are being talked about, not your personal tastes.

Edited Wednesday at 01:29 AM by Leo Gura