Why do people self harm? 🔪

[Candle]

4 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

Oooh... well, oops! ^^

I'm gonna read them if it's worth reading and you have made it readable by formatting like bold underline etc. 

Great answer. I got it. 

[trenton]

@Candle thanks for responding. I have done therapy. In my experience it's incredibly difficult to find a therapist who can help you. I think it is a sign of broken system if I have to keep jumping to different therapists hoping they can help.

I have done a lot of independent research on psychology. This combined with a lot of self reflection allowed me to generate useful insights which I have used to help myself and others. Sometimes my own research proved more helpful than actual therapists. I read several books on emotional mastery for these purposes.

What I was trying to describe is that I had suicidal thoughts because I felt like I was trapped in an abusive relationship with no clear escape. In the case of my stepfather, my homicidal thoughts stopped when he was evicted. Pills don't help when someone is punching you and throwing pans at you.

Unfortunately I ended up in another abusive situation afterwards. My older sister blamed me for my younger siblings being sent to the foster care system and she didn't like my methods for evicting my stepfather and for getting mom to break her drug addiction. I never had a good relationship with my older sister. She would sometimes weaponize my trauma against me while refusing to take responsibility for her part I conflict. I am given mixed messages about not bottling up my emotions because when I say what is bothering me it doesn't lead to anything helpful. It just gives them another reason to attack me.

I'm now moving to Kentucky. So long as I don't need to worry about avoiding unavoidable problems, my mind can become more clear and focused without ruminating on past harms while fearing future harm. I hate being forced to navigate situations which have no positive outcomes. Bad relationships make me hate life and this is one of my fears about dating. The ability to escape a bad relationship gives me hope in life. I have no reason to kill myself so long as I am not trapped with someone who hurts me and refuses to change.

I have a great peace of mind when I can live knowing I don't have to fear someone trying to hurt me. It feels good to enjoy life for once.

[M A J I]

Because they do not Know Themselves, period.

If they knew who they truly were they would not only never harm themselves, they would never harm another living being.

They would realize the cause of their own life and suffering is their own mind and its manifestations in consciousness.

[Oppositionless]

This post actually reminded me that I haven't punched myself in awhile. Genuinely cannot remember the last time and it was a weekly thing for years.

anger, resentment, frustration are the emotions that come to mind when I reflect on my own behavior. Emotional regulation, when something feels absolutely unmanageable, it's a way to take back some of that control. Sometimes there's also a self-hatred or punishment aspect to it. 

Edited Monday at 06:43 AM by Oppositionless