Is Depersonalization Really Bad?

[TodImproves]

Hi,

the main question I want to ask here is if depersonalisation is really a "disorder" and is to be seen as bad. As I become more and more aware of the meaninglessness of life as well as the no-self and as i found my peace with these things i realise more and more that my personality dissolves. I've become very detached from any emotions and all human traits, I'm just aware of the illusion of an entity and don't take "myself" seriously anymore. Personally, I don't see how that can be a bad thing because If you have a personality you don't really grasp the illusion of the mind that creates an entity, do you? I didn't ever even consider my depersonalisation as a bad thing until I watched "the dark side of meditation" on actualized.org yesterday where leo talked about the dark night of the soul, something that i definietly went trough, as well as depersonalisation as something you don't want to happen, even the worst thing that could ever happen to you, even though I think that these things are necessary to go through if you want to experience true nothingness which is everything there is after all. I just don't see the point in living an illusion, of living a normal human life with a personality that is just there to separate you from the "outer world". Could somebody here tell me why depersonalisation should be a bad thing if it's necessary to accept meaninglessness and makes you be in peace with reality just the way it is, without any illusions? what can it lead to in the long run that might be considered as bad? Just to note that: I ask this question out of caution of taking a wrong path in life, the "end goal" to me is being in peace with everything, and I just don't see how having a personality could help me with that. "end goal" because in the end it doesn't matter what you do in life anyways, but i don't see meaninglessness as bad, don't know how to describe it but i just don't have an opinion on it anymore, I just am, in total peace, without searching for a meaning or anything like that.

[Principium Nexus]

Exactly what I was thinking, this is exactly where enlightenment is after. The thing is that we think we have a real fixed personality but that it actually doesn't exist. So when we see the truth and experience this first hand we might get shocked, feeling being thrown over a cliff and everybody else would tell you that's not okay since they hold onto their own identity so strongly.

Anything that obstructs you in a bad way can be called a disease, but what if our mindset towards these mental illnesses are wrong? What if we learn to function with meaning within these extra ordinary states, they could even be empowering.

I'm not saying it's fun when your diagnosed with DP and have a lot of trouble of getting your old "self" back, but maybe seeing it in a different light would turn things around

DP is experiencing reality more to its true essence than thinking you are some absolute fixed person with a real personality.

[Sevi]

@TodImproves that's an excellent point, and I totally think you are right. I would actually be there in my life, more than that it is an inspiring motivation for me to do all the work.

And to  litmus test your states guys, and for you to understand the other end's point of view of such a scenario@TodImproves @Principium Nexus I challenge both of you to write down now, your real full names and your occupations then under it the most emotionally difficult thing to do for you in your current lifes.

And of course doing it, without lying, with full honesty, giving the accurate facts.

Edited May 6, 2017 by Sevi

[Principium Nexus]

Sure, why not!

My name is Fabian and currently 21 years old.

I'm a university student and make a living with trading cryptocurrency.

The most emotion difficult thing for me is to not feel judged by others. This is exactly what is still holding me back to fully express myself and do the things I like. Making good progress though

EDIT: Removed my last name just for the sake of privacy then

Edited May 7, 2017 by Principium Nexus

[Sevi]

@Principium Nexus  you are lying but that's -somehow- okay. I just wanted to across my point.

[Principium Nexus]

@Sevi So why would I be lying? 

[Sevi]

@Principium Nexus if there is a lie, there is a reason. And not every reason is bad, some of them are quite understandable/reasonable actually.

[TodImproves]

(Principium Nexus, this text might help you with your emotional difficulty, just realise that your emotions come from your personality/ your psyche/ your mind. try to have control over your mind through awareness of the illusion of no-self and all your emotions should dissolve)

well, im 16, a student and i don't want to give away my name because i dont want this to pop up first when somebody searches for my name in google. Would be hard to explain what i wrote to people who aren't familiar with these concepts and i'd prefer to not have to spend time doing that. The most emotionally difficult thing to me is ... nothing, at least right now, in the moment. and i really tried to find something. the thing is that whenever i become unconscios and am around people i behave like everybody else 95% of the time and have the same thought-patterns as they do, only that i dont feel emotions as stongly as i did like 6 months ago and can dissolve anger for example whenever it kicks in and i consciously analyse the moment. from time to time, the 5% of a time span that im mostly unconscios in, i realise whats going on and just continue behaving "normally" because im in a flow if you want to call it that way and i realise that whatever i do, it doesn't matter, so why don't i just follow my instincts. i just let go and am in peace with my personality. when i become conscious and im not with other people its like i take my personality off as if it was a hat and simply am without any emotions. so if you ask me whats the most challenging emotionally to me - right now, while conscios: nothing- but when unconscious maybe walking up to people and doing stupid things because i just dont realise that there is no entity that sees these stupid things as well as no entity doing them, i act through a milder form of my personality in these cases. its all just moving matter, why should i react to that with emotions when i realise it? i don't see anything right now that would make me respond with any emotions in case im conscious and aware of whats happening on the deepest level. while writing this i realised that i dont have dp. i still have a less dominant and more calm personality than what it was like before, which kicks in when im not conscious and aware and which can be "taken off" with realisation of whats really going on.

Edited May 6, 2017 by TodImproves

[Sevi]

 

[TodImproves]

i tried not to lie, if you think it would be a lie then it was done unconsciously, would be nice to know what you wouldn't have interpreted as a lie.

[Sevi]

39 minutes ago, TodImproves said:

i tried not to lie, if you think it would be a lie then it was done unconsciously, would be nice to know what you wouldn't have interpreted as a lie.

@TodImproves oh, sorry I wanted to joke a bit, that was my only intention.? that was a very nice post, it cleared my mind too, thank you actually..

Well, it's all about the intends behind the actions I believe, at the end of the day; and if we look at from this view as you mentioned:

16 hours ago, TodImproves said:

 if you want to experience true nothingness which is everything there is after all. 

Really something is false, other is real doesn't make so much of a difference anyways...

Nevertheless, the wisdom you are referring to in your writings is little too much for a 16 year old? that's ok, it's not the point; you explained the subject so well, and that's good enough?

@Principium Nexus I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, that was not my intent, if so I apologize.

Edited May 7, 2017 by Sevi

[Principium Nexus]

@Sevi Oh no don't feel sorry haha! I think I might have misunderstand things.

But I did not lie about telling my name, occupation and most difficult thing to do. 

Or are you refering to that depersonalisation is okay to have, that this would be a false assumption?

Still don't get it

C'mon guys lifting the veil that people know who you are isn't a bad thing. People can try to understand you and accept you for who you are or dislike you but then you wouldn't want to be working for them in the first place.

[Sevi]

@Principium Nexus ok, no worries. Let's cut it here. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can verify whose fingers are typing behind that device. Let's leave it there.

But before conclude this, I would like to clear up the point that I was trying to make: Even if you become very well aware of the illusion and the meaninglessness of life and even further more get detached from any emotions and from all those human traits, you are still functioning in this aquarium; so there still will be understandable, valid reasons to protect that system you hold, that 'ego': you will not want your full name to pop up with some weird unnecessary information in internet, and that is simply a common sense.

And also, I am very well aware, this explanation above does not apply to my emotional reaction to the situation and how defensive I've been about the case, how my ego was so involved in it, but it is my personal work to focus on.

[Joel3102]

Depersonlisation and enlightenment are very different things. DPD is an anxiety and dissociative disorder where you feel cut-off from the world and your body, to me it's almost an opposite feeling to enlightenment its  subsequnt feelings of oneness. DP is literally a defence mechanism triggered by anxiety inducing situations. I understand that they have similarities, such as the feeling of unreality of this world, but don't confuse DP with the Truth.

[Toby]

You are confusing depersonalization / dissociation with deidentification. Deidentification can feel threatening and confusing if you look at it from an ego-perspective but ultimately a byproduct is immense peacefulness. Depersonalization / dissociation however feels disconnected. It is a coping strategy for feelings like overwhelment.

[Principium Nexus]

You guys are right, I was only looking at the deidentifcation aspect. Living in anxiety and complete dissociation with surroundings is not really someone is looking for. I just keep the thought in my mind i'm ultimately not an ego, but like to play a character that gives me joy and wander around for the time being alive .