Why women have aversion towards their own period process?

[ricachica]

43 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I saw it as a means through which I could possibly have my romantic feelings reciprocated because I'd have breasts and breasts are attractive.

I was very similar at a young age...I remember passing by the bra section and just wishing for the day I would finally get to buy one because it would mean more attention from the boys. I lied to some boys before and said I finally got a bra lol.... one of them called me out and said "wtf you definitely don't have boobs wdym???". Oh youth.

[Emerald]

35 minutes ago, ricachica said:

I was very similar at a young age...I remember passing by the bra section and just wishing for the day I would finally get to buy one because it would mean more attention from the boys. I lied to some boys before and said I finally got a bra lol.... one of them called me out and said "wtf you definitely don't have boobs wdym???". Oh youth.

Haha. Definitely a canon experience.

I remember once, during the summer between 5th and 6th grade, I was in this summer day camp. And we went to the roller skating rink once a week.

And there were these three girls at the skating rink who were a little trio of popular girls. And they didn't go to elementary school with me, so I think they were trying to invite me into their popular girls clubs so that there could be four of them... to pretend to be like the squad of popular girls in this one teen movie... the name of the movie escapes me. (It's not Mean Girls. This was a 90s movie.)

They had all these rules for hanging out with them like daily shaving and not eating in public. And a couple years later when I saw the movie, I was like "Oh!!! That's what they were imitating." 

But one thing these 11 year girls would do, was to always be conspicuously adjusting their bras and glancing back and forth at one another. And they'd be asking me if I had started my period and if I wore a bra (which I hadn't and didn't at the time) but lied about the period thing, which became a tangled web. I'm bad at lying.

I was really intimidated by them. But looking back, they were just being a bunch of silly gooses, imitating that movie and trying to be grown up.

Edited December 31, 2024 by Emerald

[ricachica]

52 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And there were these three girls at the skating rink who were a little trio of popular girls. And they didn't go to elementary school with me, so I think they were trying to invite me into their popular girls clubs so that there could be four of them... 

If they didn't go to your elementary school, does that mean it gave you a better chance to join them? Meaning that, in your elementary school, it wouldn't have been possible to join the popular girls group who knew who you were? I say that because I also briefly joined the popular girl group in 5th grade out of necessity, when the majority we were all friends with left for a new elementary school after 4th grade. If it wasn't for that circumstance, I would have never been considered to join due to what they probably knew of me (which was just a typical playground/tetherball loving kid, not too hyper girly like them ) I felt really cool for a second and I was essentially tested for a bit in similarly peculiar ways... I did not last long and just could never click with them as much as I really wanted to though. Definitely intimidated haha.

 

But in general I didn't really associate getting a period with getting more male romantic attention, though I am sure I would have if I had viewed that same Girl Scout manual your read, I definitely had a similar line of thinking back then. I viewed periods pretty neutrally. It was definitely more the boobs thing for me at the time... I definitely wore slightly lower cut shirts in 7th grade cause I was proud when they finally come in...oh gosh. My whole friend group did really, we constantly compared boob growth. Funny cause I rarely show cleavage nowadays and it doesn't cross my my mind to use them to "gain" male romantic attention bahahaha. 

Edited December 31, 2024 by ricachica

[Davino]

@Emerald Thanks for sharing your stories, that was super interesting to read

@ricachica I feel like I'm getting to know the secrets of women just by listening to both of you interact

[Basman]

12 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Yes I have been diagnosed with autism and I have sensory sensitivity. 

I don't think your period is the norm to be honest. Especially considering how you describe other women reacting to your period.

[Whitney Edwards]

Just now, Basman said:

I don't think your period is the norm to be honest. Especially considering how you describe other women reacting to your period.

Lots of women struggle with their period. They just don't open up about it as much. 

[Basman]

I think its kind of a funny premise to say to have a loving relationship to ones menstruation cycle. Its a waste process. Do you have a loving relationship towards taking a shit or pissing (please say no)? 

There's plenty of reasons to hate your period from what I hear just from how involving it is.

[Davino]

3 hours ago, Basman said:

I think its kind of a funny premise to say to have a loving relationship to ones menstruation cycle. Its a waste process. Do you have a loving relationship towards taking a shit or pissing (please say no)? 

Many people say the best moment of the day is taking a shit

I've come to love the processes of my body. Once when I was a kid I had a severe constipation and couldn't defecate for three weeks. I went to the doctor due to severe belly pain. They gave me some pills. I was in school and clogged the toilet. From that moment on I instantly saw the importance of loving my body and the shit process. So now I can say I have a loving relationship with it. I feel in my belly, I monitor myself, eat food that is good for my digestive system etc.

So the problem is gone and a healthy habit and relationship has been built. Imagine if I hated the shit process and denied it, got anxiety when is the moment to use the bathroom, that's what many women face with menstruation. It's a more tedious process right but my analogy is trying to point the need for a loving relationship with all the functions of your body to whole and integrated.

[Javfly33]

On 12/29/2024 at 0:04 AM, Buck Edwards said:

[...]

The opposite side. On some periods, it's different. I get a very strong sexual desire right before the day it's gonna start or at least a week before it starts. The desire to have sex is extremely strong and it feels like I'm in heat and I get horny like crazy. I get wet dreams, those kind of dreams and rape fantasies and stuff. And I get the feeling that I should be f*. It's not particularly enjoyable because I know that my hormones causing me to be sexual so it's no big deal. An attractive male around me looks even more attractive during such a time. His height, his gestures, masculine jawline, body strength, his style, his talk might appear more appealing during this time. My mind is naturally drawn to the sexiness in men (of course I control it because I want to be faithful), but just giving an Idea of how my biology functions when I'm going through the heat time before the period.

[...]

 

Thanks for sharing. This is powerful example of how as humans hormones can try to control us, not that they actually do because as you said you can control it but it gives insight how powerful the hormonal system hijacks us. 

Edited January 1 by Javfly33

[Whitney Edwards]

5 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

 

Thanks for sharing. This is powerful example of how as humans hormones can try to control us, not that they actually do because as you said you can control it but it gives insight how powerful the hormonal system hijacks us. 

Thank you. 

[MotherEve]

A lot of it is societal for sure. We are told constantly that menstruation is gross and we shouldn't talk about it, often before we even get our first period. Not to mention that it comes with aspects such as changes in mood and cramping. A big part of it, also, in my opinion, is the lack of research done into conditions such as endometriosis that make periods a really horrible experience for many women, since the available treatment is next to nothing. Excluding these cases, however, there are still many women who are disgusted by their own period. The blood seems to trigger something visceral in a lot of people, specifically in a lot of men, which women then internalize from this or from other women who have internalized it first, and this creates such a shameful concept of what periods are. They're considered embarrassing; it's embarrassing if you accidentally get a blood stain on your clothes (despite every single woman I've ever met having experienced this), it's embarrassing if someone smells your period blood, it's embarrassing to walk to the bathroom with a pad or tampon in your hand. I remember the only time I ever saw a girl openly take a pad out of her bag in a public place and walk to the bathroom with it in her hand like it was nothing. This might sound dramatic but I was in awe of her, so shocked that she did it so casually and so freely. I still wish I was brave enough to do that, too. Someday. Back to the overall point, however, I have always liked having a period. I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority in this, but it's the truth. I got mine at quite a young age, and had been looking forward to it because I wanted to grow up. Despite how annoying it can be at times, I don't want it to go away. I've heard many women say they wish they could never have their period again and I cannot relate to that whatsoever. Personally, it makes me feel like a woman. I do get pretty bad cramps sometimes, some months worse than others, but, at the risk of sounding weird, sometimes they feel kind of nice? Has literally any other woman experienced that? Am I crazy? And I don't mean nice as in they're barely there, as in they are very much there but I enjoy the sensation. Sometimes. Sometimes it just hurts. The emotional aspect of it is important too though, in my opinion, because as women our bodies run in a cyclical fashion. The menstrual cycle isn't just the 3-7 days that we bleed for, it includes every other stage throughout the month, too. I'm not always 100% clued into where I am in that regard, but regardless, it impacts your mood. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. Some months the change isn't really there at all, but some months I have intense emotional changes the week before I bleed, and in those times I have had some profound experiences. I think, as women, our aversion to this pain and this change is so deeply ingrained in us that we find it very difficult to embrace it, and we see no value in embracing it because we are never told that it is something we should embrace, just that it is something we need to go through. Our hatred of our own bodies stems from growing up in a society that hates our bodies, that stifles their functions at all costs (despite said functions being responsible for the creation of the entire human population). I view it as something that connects me to my body and to my womanhood. I find it fascinating and I also reject the notion/common joke that it's my "body punishing me for not getting pregnant". It's so much more than that. It's your uterus shedding everything that it needs to get rid of, essentially cleaning itself. That is important. That is also what causes periods to be late - if you are very stressed, your body will know what to prioritize, and will conserve energy for you. I hope any woman reading this feels at least a little bit more positive about her period, if any of you are someone who really hates them with a passion. I understand, though, that every woman's experience of her menstruation is different, and it's a deeply personal matter. Every woman is entitled to love or to hate it, to anything-in-between it, because some of the stories I've heard have been harrowing in terms of pain, women with PMDD and more. It is something that's an intense struggle for some, a cause of celebration for others, but it is something that unites us, all the same. Every woman with a period, has a period story. We're in this together!!!

Edited February 21 by MotherEve

[Beans]

I find nothing “feminine” about having periods. I only see it as an inconvenience. And an embarrassment.  
However, with the right partner it can be less uncomfortable and less embarrassing. 

especially when they’re attentive and caring. 
i grew up very tom-boy like so I’ve never really cared or really understood the whole “becoming a woman” aspect 

I’ve never really heavily identified as a woman 

as a child gender didn’t exist to me

i just wanted to play 

periods made it more difficult for me to play like how I use to 

Also just the weird sexualization I got as I grew 

Which disturbed me greatly 

 

[Lila9]

I have never felt aversion to my period, nor shame about it. Since the first time I received my period, a month after I celebrated my 14th birthday, I have been neutral about it and have seen it as a natural aspect of my life. 

I feel connected to my body, and I find it difficult to see something coming out of it as ‘gross.’

I remember that in school, I had female friends who were afraid of a rebellious blood stain on their pants during their period, with the potential of others seeing it. I was afraid too, but I admit that I had worse and bigger fears in my life than a rebellious blood stain on my pants that someone might notice.

I think that I was even secretly proud of my period, and I still am. I don’t care much when a stranger somehow discovers that I have my period because I did nothing wrong. 

I already suffer from the pain, and I don’t want or need the additional mental burden of doing extra stuff to hide it as if I were a criminal trying to cover my crime.

 

In the last few years, I have learned even more about my menstrual cycle. I have learned about the four phases women go through every month. Each phase differs and has many dimensions, such as biological, psychological, and spiritual.

The phase of the period is when the hormones are very low, and the energy is low. The body feels very old and tired, the body aches and acts weird. 
 

This phase is symbolized by the “crone” archetype, and it is a time for contemplation and rest. In ancient times, women were allowed and encouraged to rest in a quiet place during their period, but in the modern world, women have to function and socialize as if they have the same hormones as men, without actually having the hormonal system of men.

I hate working during my period and a few days before it because I have mood swings and low energy. My body is physically weak and aching at that time. I have the need to contemplate and think about my life. I don’t want to be around others much, I want to eat tasty and nutritious food and rest.

I want to take hot baths and be left alone with a book or my journal.

Luckily, I have a flexible workplace in which I can take a day off or work less when I need to, without many questions, but it wasn’t like that in my previous workplaces, and I had to insist on it sometimes.

I wish there was more awareness and compassion for women and the fact that women have a different hormonal system than men. 

Women have a monthly cycle, while men have a daily one. Men’s energy is highest during the day and decreases as the day ends until the next day, this process repeats itself every day. Women, on the other hand, have a few days in a month, around 10 days, that cover two phases out of the four of the menstrual cycle, in which they have relatively high energy (to work, socialize, and be in their “doing” mode). The other two phases are the more low energy, difficult and longer ones, like the luteal phase and the period phase itself.

Society is very ignorant about the female menstrual cycle, and women are ignorant about it as well. Today, women are very disconnected from their bodies and hate them, demonizing them to various degrees. And it saddens me.

The liberals pretend as if women are identical to men, overlooking our hormonal differences from men, while the conservatives demonize everything related to female biology, such as pregnancy and the period. Both fail to acknowledge the hormonal and biological differences between men and women without demonizing the other or putting one above the other, while adjusting the system to equally suit the needs of women and men, not just men. This results in women paying the price of surviving in a system designed for the biology of men.

 

 

Edited February 28 by Lila9

[Lila9]

 

[Twentyfirst]

There is a period simulator for men. It's like a machine thing that you hook up to your belly or something I forget