How can i feel loved if i dont exist

[Asia P]

My ego wants to be loved, but how do i find love inside myself, in solitude, without being needy of other people.

Do i have do starve my ego? It is painful

[James123]

27 minutes ago, Asia P said:

Do i have do starve my ego?

You have to let go. 

[Breakingthewall]

One thing is the absolute reality and another the relative. You need food to live, same do you need authentic human relationship to be balanced and not depressed. 

The more you open yourself to the absolute, the more independent you become from the relative, but up to a certain point. Openness to the absolute makes you see the need to be totally authentic, not to engage in toxic, false behaviors, tending to extract energy from others, since you obtain unlimited energy from yourself and these behaviors close, block, and you see clearly how they harm you. Then you can find real, authentic, clean relationships, without toxicity, something that in other circumstances is almost impossible.

[Princess Arabia]

It's not that you don't exist. It's that what you think you are, is not what you are. The only reason you're looking for love is because you believe you're a separate entity/being. Now you go searching for the unconditional love that you already are. Limitless, infinite Absolute. Nothing is lost but only for the one that cannot see itself and identifies with what it sees. 

When and if you find the love in other people, that can also be painful. Conditioned love is painful. Nothing really wrong with that. It's love's expression. Now you know what love feels like when it has been conditioned. You know what you are by recognizing what you're not. You're not what you can perceive, so you're not that pain. 

[gettoefl]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

One thing is the absolute reality and another the relative. You need food to live, same do you need authentic human relationship to be balanced and not depressed. 

The more you open yourself to the absolute, the more independent you become from the relative, but up to a certain point. Openness to the absolute makes you see the need to be totally authentic, not to engage in toxic, false behaviors, tending to extract energy from others, since you obtain unlimited energy from yourself and these behaviors close, block, and you see clearly how they harm you. Then you can find real, authentic, clean relationships, without toxicity, something that in other circumstances is almost impossible.

Human relationships mean giving little and getting back more else it's time to move on to greener pastures

while real love means that giving and receiving are exalted as one and the same and are seen as the reason for living.

[gettoefl]

Look not to be loved but to be love, for love is not something you can find outside yourself; it is the source and substance of what you are. When you embody love, you won't yearn for it any longer, as its radiance naturally envelopes everyone you encounter, dissolving any illusion of lack and disharmony and reinforcing the centrality of giving and receiving. All are seen, all are accepted and all are valued as being infinitely important, necessary and beautiful.

[Sugarcoat]

No matter what non duality says I bet you feel like you exist, don’t you. So at the end of the day it’s gonna stay like that, unless you dissolve the ego which seems extremely difficult to do. So when it comes to this matter of wanting to feel loved, it’s something that is worked on at the human level at the ego level. It’s about your human psychology. This desire to feel loved is ingrained deep it’s even on a genetic level so it’s very hard to undo. It’s not necessary to undo it entirely unless it’s something that bothers you. If it does bother you this desire to be loved and you wanna become more independent then you could work on that. I’ve always been independent like that so I can’t give you tips on how to do it but I bet there is a way. 

Edited December 28, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[Hojo]

Do what your ego wants to do.

God loves you more than anyone. God is everyone. God does not leave when you are alone and it does not appear when others come so you can feel it. Gods love for you is right in front of you and its stronger than anybody on Earth can give you. All people on Earth loving you is 1 percent of the love you can feel from God.

God is pretending to be the people in your life you can feel love from them and when you go home you are alone and feel sad. Thats cause you forget God is still there and God was the person that made you feel love and its still there when there is no one there. When someone comes into your life and you feel love there is no person there it is just God still.  The person dosent make you feel an emotion it is just God showing you an emotion that you are through the person.

Edited December 29, 2024 by Hojo

[WelcometoReality]

6 hours ago, Asia P said:

My ego wants to be loved, but how do i find love inside myself, in solitude, without being needy of other people.

Do i have do starve my ego? It is painful

Then give it all the love it needs. 🙂

[Asia P]

On 28/12/2024 at 5:33 PM, Sugarcoat said:

No matter what non duality says I bet you feel like you exist, don’t you. So at the end of the day it’s gonna stay like that, unless you dissolve the ego which seems extremely difficult to do. So when it comes to this matter of wanting to feel loved, it’s something that is worked on at the human level at the ego level. It’s about your human psychology. This desire to feel loved is ingrained deep it’s even on a genetic level so it’s very hard to undo. It’s not necessary to undo it entirely unless it’s something that bothers you. If it does bother you this desire to be loved and you wanna become more independent then you could work on that. I’ve always been independent like that so I can’t give you tips on how to do it but I bet there is a way. 

@Sugarcoat i would appreciate so much if you can give me some tips 🙏❤️

[Asia P]

@WelcometoReality i wonder how

[James123]

8 minutes ago, Asia P said:

@WelcometoReality i wonder how

Empty yourself. Universe will fulfill you. 

[WelcometoReality]

12 minutes ago, Asia P said:

@WelcometoReality i wonder how

Give it attention. Listen to it. Let it be just as it is. 

[Sugarcoat]

51 minutes ago, Asia P said:

@Sugarcoat i would appreciate so much if you can give me some tips 🙏❤️

I’m naturally independent so it’s hard to give tips but I could try. What I could spontaneously come up with is

Do things alone that you enjoy to build that love for solitude and become more self sufficient 

Do things that bring your confidence up in general, such as personal development in general, fitness, building habits for yourself. Anything that will build you as a person and grow your confidence might help you feel less of a need for love from others because that confidence will translate to all areas of life

Practice self love. Maybe like affirmations, mantras etc.

When you feel unloved, notice that feeling and try to accept it. Sit with it.

Write down and analyze that need to be loved. Break it down into pieces to try to understand it better.

Thats some things I could come up with. Maybe it helps maybe not. 

Edited December 29, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[Asia P]

On 29/12/2024 at 10:52 PM, Sugarcoat said:

I’m naturally independent so it’s hard to give tips but I could try. What I could spontaneously come up with is

Do things alone that you enjoy to build that love for solitude and become more self sufficient 

Do things that bring your confidence up in general, such as personal development in general, fitness, building habits for yourself. Anything that will build you as a person and grow your confidence might help you feel less of a need for love from others because that confidence will translate to all areas of life

Practice self love. Maybe like affirmations, mantras etc.

When you feel unloved, notice that feeling and try to accept it. Sit with it.

Write down and analyze that need to be loved. Break it down into pieces to try to understand it better.

Thats some things I could come up with. Maybe it helps maybe not. 

This is so practical thank you so much

[Breakingthewall]

On 29/12/2024 at 10:11 PM, James123 said:

Empty yourself. Universe will fulfill you. 

That's the best advice . There are two options, one is totally give ourselves and be open to the absolute, the other is suffering 

Edited January 1 by Breakingthewall

[Aaron p]

if you look carefully at someone or something you really love, what you will discover is that the actual sensation of love literally is a letting go of yourself (your own importance) its a lack of distinction between you and that thing. there is no you and it...there is just you/it

[Breakingthewall]

And human love is important, it's good to love some people, not easy because most of people are close in their soul, needing the others to feel part of something not just for love, then it's attachment, and with a very defined perspective of life that use to be have good time and fulfill their duty, and nothing else. But if you are open you could find others who are and life could be beautiful 

[Breakingthewall]

2 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

if you look carefully at someone or something you really love, what you will discover is that the actual sensation of love literally is a letting go of yourself (your own importance) its a lack of distinction between you and that thing. there is no you and it...there is just you/it

You could love someone to the point of giving your life for that person just because it's your karma. Reality could be absolute, but karma, what is happening, is absolutely real too. 

[Sugarcoat]

3 hours ago, Asia P said:

This is so practical thank you so much

No problem