Need serious advice on experiencing hate

[Nick_98]

Hello Everybody, 

This is a seriously interesting post. I've been experiencing the emotion of hate a lot whenever I encounter some specific people. I've been so patient with this emotion as a spiritual practice, but I'm afraid my reserve of patience reaches its end. When will I be Free ? 

I am an experienced in meditation Person that till now has not realized what people talk about to be Onnes , Love , God .. Etc even tho I've been very patient with the whole process.

I think about seriously giving up. Every time I meet these specific Person or People , I witness the emotion of Hate, or a form of suffering. I keep witnessing it and witnessing it , Hoping that one day the Door will open and I would realize what spiritual teachers have Promised.

Do I Consider Give Up?

If I do give up I will leave a room to manipulate my emotions and make these experiences less painful.

Did anybody experience Phenomenons similar to these ? Did you ever become Seriously Free ? Have you ever been trapped before in Hating someone? What would you advice me in this situation ? 

Still a part of me is not allowing me to give up.. I can not turn a blind eye on this somehow. But feeling stuck is the worst part, especially with such a painful emotion. Seriously Who would ever like to hate someone ?  

Before you mention it .. I considered questioning my assumptions regarding hate. I'm seriously doing the work. But still.. Stuck in that.

[Whitney Edwards]

@Nick_98 what makes you hate the specific person? I mean if you elaborate, there's a chance to understand what mechanisms in your psyche are building up that hate in the first place? 

[Sugarcoat]

Hate can sometimes be coupled with a lack of understanding of someone. If you truly understood them and could step into their shoes you maybe wouldnt hate them.  

[Nick_98]

@Buck Edwards There was a time in my life where talking with these people has caused me to feel judged, social judgement so to speak. Even tho it was their best intentions it still came about to me as judgment. 

That is the best I can put into words. 

Do you think that can help free me ?

[Whitney Edwards]

Just now, Nick_98 said:

@Buck Edwards There was a time in my life where talking with these people has caused me to feel judged, social judgement so to speak. Even tho it was their best intentions it still came about to me as judgment. 

That is the best I can put into words. 

Do you think that can help free me ?

Yea I've been in similar situations quite recently. 

So I used two ways to deal with it —

1. I mostly forgive them whenever an encounter comes up. 
2. I let them go and let them do their thing to me. If they judge me I let them do it. I call it giving space. Meaning. Let them be how they are and I won't react. It's like I give them that freedom to trigger me. Because I understand that a part of them makes them do what they do and I try to take the high road and understand it from a meta perspective, the way a parent would understand a child. So I try to not get worked up by what they do. Instead I just let them and my heart expands in the process. Although I don't experience intense love for them, the hate sort of dissipates a bit in the process of trying to understand where they come from. 

That's the best I can say on the matter. 

[Nick_98]

@Buck Edwards Thanks for sharing 

[Princess Arabia]

Not sure if my answer will help or sound whacky; just ignore if it doesn't resonate:

This is unconditional love/freedom/liberation already. Which means nothing is exempt. NOTHING. Even hate. There's no one hating. The energy of hate (as we call it), just is. We, as the individual believes it's our hate. We believe we're hating something, but we're not. It's just raw, unfiltered energy that feels like hate to the individual. It's not yours, but you can't see that because from the moment you identified with the body/mind/ and as an individual/person/human who is at the center of the Universe, everything now revolves around you. It's an illusion. There is no one hating. It feels like you're hating but it's hate appearing and you've attached to it because the person can't help but do that. It's what it does and it does that with everything. 

You want to be free but freedom is not for the individual. It can't be free. It's impossible. Why? Because freedom is already the case and it is impersonal. If you identify as a person, you have now conditioned it. It's so free, it can appear to not be free, which is what you're experiencing. If you want to be free of hate, you will have to not see hate, not define what you're experiencing as hate, not see yourself as a person hating. 

You and every other individual being has a sense of self, including myself. I'm not saying you need to do anything about that. Just recognize that it's not the case, what you feel is a result of this energy that feels like a separate someone and just notice the emotions come and go without judgment. Allow for them to subside on their own. When that feeling of hate comes up, let it, do nothing and sit with the feeling while going about your business. The more you fight it, the more it latches on. Take no action to try and do anything about it because that's how you strengthen it's attachment. If you don't want to feel hate, don't identify with hate allow hate to be there and it will go back from whence it came without any problems whatsoever. Don't give meaning to it, don't try to manipulate it. Let it be. This takes practice, but the more you do this, the easier it becomes and you will find yourself free of that energy because it's not responding to the energy that you're emitting anymore. 

Edited December 27, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[Vercingetorix]

How do you know that the emotion you experience is hate?

an emotion is already an interpretation of a sensation. you have the freedom to to see it as hate, but also as other emotions. Or see it just as a sensation. Does it serve you to see it as hate?


 

[WelcometoReality]

@Nick_98 maybe it just want to be heard?

Try talking to your emotion to understand it better. It is not your enermy.

[kavaris]

5 hours ago, Vercingetorix said:

How do you know that the emotion you experience is hate?

an emotion is already an interpretation of a sensation. you have the freedom to to see it as hate, but also as other emotions. Or see it just as a sensation. Does it serve you to see it as hate?


 

Hi. thats an interesting take (for ops sake too im sure he thought it interesting, though i dont mean to speak on his behalf) i personally hadnt introspected and thought about an emotion as an interpretation of something underneath. of course i thought about the masking of deeper emotions thoughts, and feelings, but i never took the time to illustrate the moods and emotions as a cover, a kindve veil that exist as an abstration layer/language, on top of the underlying programming.

So returning to what op said, "I witness the emotion of Hate, or a form of suffering", i think that new perspective adds some insight or perspective on what direction you could take, where you can go with this (what presumably was) a natural language on top of something lowerlvl, primal, akin to control signals of the body (which you can look at it in simpler terminology, where you are being "sent down different directions," whether that be a strong emotion, or a thought, etc...) and how you come to recognize—internalize and re orient that direction ultimately leads you to where you want to go, which is something ive been into lately, i just hadnt put those two pieces together. So hey, you made me realize something in your questioning! lol

Edited December 28, 2024 by kavaris

[Fadl]

Try to experience it and don't over think it. I had feeling similar to yours.. I know these feelings are very strong .. you might be day dreaming all the time about killing some one .. but they will go eventually.. you will get sick of having such emotions and they will disappear.. you will be surprised once that happen. 

[kavaris]

I hope yous dont mind, but i wrote a made a revision/little word adventure/exploration on what i will give credit to @Vercingetorix@Nick_98 (as well as everyone else since yous kept the thread alive) for being the inspiration of... Yous may take/steal these words and build on them however you wish...

Control Signals
Ænd what's underneath?
We realized an intresting point about emotion—moods and feelings, they (much like thoughts, ideas and sensations) are an abstraction layer, a veil unseen, upon something more/less primal to your beingness, that which lies underneath—those sentiments above serving as a type of control signaling, for something that may or may not need controlling/refocusing...

If we describe it in music terms, we might say that its like a tuning fork (a navigator/compass that redirects the note/tone your feeling) wherein we are subconsciously choosing which direction to be facing. Prior to this realization, we had likely already thought about the *masking* of deeper emotions, thoughts, and feelings (emotions and feelings as a hard layer we couldnt get beyond) Likewise, we had already considered the idea of looking down one path or direction (or a physical scene or scenario) Alas it just hadnt yet merged or compounded those two ideas into one.

Its kindve like a three step process, after the (1) experiencing of said emotion—which is a kind of recognition step, (2) This would mean *"introspecting and interpreting those emotions that are buried there in the first place"*... Then of course there's one last turn or prestige, which is (3) A **perspective** on what direction you are facing, and *whether it is related to said emotion or not*, which gives you the option/ability to decide on whether you want an alternative direction, or rather, which direction you would prefer to be looking at—or going down. In the end we would say, *"it's the act of being sent down different directions"*—whether that be a strong emotion, or a thought, etc—and how you come to recognize, internalize and reorient that direction, that ultimately leads you to where you want to go.

p.s. feel free to moderate/remove my previous comment, for moderators who like things neat and tidy, as i think it communicates the exact same sentiment.

[gettoefl]

To deal with judgments or negativity toward others, you should start by recognizing that these feelings arise from within you, and are less to do with that person and their behaviour. Hate signifies inner turmoil and unhealed wounds. You need to understand this and then detach from the idea that your peace depends on anyone else’s actions. When you no longer rely on others for validation or satisfaction, you will then reclaim your power and free yourself to respond with clarity and calm.

Hate is a signal and not a solution. It points to a story or grievance you are holding onto about the other person. Instead of focusing on their actions, ask yourself can you temporarily drop the story in order to feel peace and bring peace. Remember, everyone you meet acts from their own pain and conditioning. Shifting from judgment to compassion can soften your outlook, helping you see them through a lens of greater clarity. Healthy boundaries are very important too - step away if needed, but do so out of love, not avoidance or blame. When you are free of resentment, you free yourself to experience the peace that has been within you all along.

[origin]

I think trying to see the good in the person you hate is a solid place to start, and checking out those deeper ideas mentioned earlier is definitely worth it too.

[Aaron p]

i can see everyone is going with the go-to methods of this day and age...and theyre probably good to a degree. If the situation can be resolved easily then just do it easily...theres no need to continue torturing yourself with people you dont like...and bro, there will always be people you dont like. there are people you wont like everywhere, the only difference is that you are not in close proximity to those people. My suggestion is just adjust the situational dynamics to move the person or people into the category of "not close to you." Just create distance. If this person or persons is unavoidable and you've exhausted your spiritual methods and noticing an inevitable downward spiral in your emotions and mind then its time to turn to a method that i call "smash it." Which is a method of overpowering the situation. Sometimes a simple Trojan horse does the trick. By "overpowering" here i just mean replacing your sensitive, reflective methods with more robust, active methods. This might look like a direct confrontation to the person (also just because your choosing to be powerful doesn't mean you have to be unwise or insensitive, you can be powerful and polite). Or perhaps you could choose a subtle, energetic power play, like when this individual does something that seriously pisses you off, you just stop, and just stare at them until they recognise that theyve done something wrong (deceptively effective if you have the balls to do it). or call the cops. with this method you are focusing on a solution oriented approach. as spiritual teachings are extremely useless in certain situations.