P*rn-addiction, self-sabotage and being friendlier with myself

[Leeo_SA]

Date: 3.1.25

Relevant incidents today: Was horny when I woke up, had a filthy dream. In the evening I was in the internet and wanted to see, if there are some porn categories on an online stream plattform. As soon as I saw my thoughts, I stopped and shutted down the website.

Sleep: Good

Difficulty PM (mastrubation & porn): 7/10

Supplements: Didnt take anything today. Tomorrow Iboga and Tyrosin again.

What I am proud of: I really enjoy meditating now. I meditated today 2 times each 20 min. I was very still in the second meditation which was a nice preview of the next level in my meditation journey.

[Leeo_SA]

Date: 4.1.25

Relevant incidents today: Was horny in the afternoon, but had controlls over my thoughts. 

Sleep: very good

Difficulty PM (mastrubation & porn): 8/10

Supplements: 0.13g Iboga and 1 capsule of Tyrosin.

What I am proud of: I meditated today 3 times, 2 times 20min and 1 time 45min. Further I wrote applications for 90 min and read for about 90min. Was a good day!

[Leeo_SA]

Date: 4.1.25

Relevant incidents today: Nothing

Sleep: very good

Difficulty PM (mastrubation & porn): 1/10

Supplements: 1 capsule of Tyrosin.

What I am proud of: I meditated today 3 times, 2 times 20min and 1 time 45min with an online Meditation Group in the evening. Had many thoughts, I believe due to too much (unhealthy) eating and beeing tired.

[Leeo_SA]

Date: 5.1.25

Relevant incidents today: Was really horny the whole day. In the evening I had an orgasm with my GF. After that, my mood got uplifted like a withstand went away which was very surprising bc I didnt want to have an orgasm.

In the afternoon I felt a big resistance to work and to do anything.

Sleep: very good

Difficulty PM (mastrubation & porn): 9/10

Supplements: 0.12g Iboga and 1 capsule of Tyrosin. I stop now with Iboga. Maybe I do it again in one year in winter. The experiment with Iboga and Tyrosin was superb! I experimented a lot with different substances in previous years but this combination had the biggest impact on my mood and handling with anxiety. Every winter I am another man, have more interest in meditation and spiritual pratice but have also winter depression. With this combination (or also without Iboga) I am in another mood.

 

What I am proud of: I meditated today 3 times, 1x 30min, 1x 25min, 1x 20min. Tomorrow I start with walking meditation. Further I had a new client in my part time job: an 101 year old man, he runs like he is 40tish, he eats fruits (in comparassion to other elderly people who are eating just garbage), he is pretty optimistic and has a really good brain (no alzheimer or so). Was nice to be with him!
In the evening I made an exercise for introspection due to my resistance to work. Was also a great excersise! Further I applied to 5ish jobs.

[mmKay]

Have you tried just avoiding p*rn but fapping is okay? Worked just right for me. Almost 1 year off and I'm planning to stay off for good. There's more stuff that worked for me, let me know what's your biggest struggles

Good luck!