Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP.

I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now.

I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm.

In terms of my career so far:
teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP.
acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do.

My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think.
I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. 
I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though)

I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. 

To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it):

- giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious.

- finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful

So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented.

Design ohne Titel.pdf

[Husseinisdoingfine]

I need to revise the Life Purpose Course. The problem is that I truly don't know myself or who I am. 

I deluded myself, imagining that I had strengths that I didn't have. I thought Math and Science was my zone of genius, but it turns out no.

 

[Xonas Pitfall]

Hey, this is amazing! Sick job completing the course! <3 We are proud of you!

I'd say you probably have two options (obviously, you have infinitely more, but to narrow down a general trend):

1. Either pursue a "side business" full-time, like a startup as you mentioned, since you have experience with them, and earn enough money passively, semi-passively, or even actively, but in a way that allows you a decent bit of free time (calculate how much that would be for you in Germany). You could either optimize for earning a lot so you can retire peacefully for a decent amount of years or enough to maintain a steady income while focusing on your Life Purpose.
2. Go straight for your Life Purpose, but then you'll need to be smart about how you’ll financially support yourself. The best option would always be building some sort of social media presence and marketing whatever it is you want to deliver. For whatever you want to sell, you always need eyeballs - that’s business 101. Here, I’d say you have a few options:

• Giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious.
• Finding existential beauty and meaning in difficult situations to make people more hopeful.

This sounds like you should focus on developing skillsets in visual media, animations, visual effects, drawing, painting - whatever you want (or even combining multiple). The focus should be on creating inspiring and emotionally moving experiences. It’s a beautiful Life Purpose. A lot of the time, just teaching won’t have the same impact as moving people through a powerful medium. I’d then suggest writing down what type of art and media moves you and defining what parts of that you’d like to replicate. Maybe some movies, series, shows, pieces of artwork? Anything to get your brain wondering, imagining, inspired . . . 💫💨❕❗ It's always infinitely much easier when you have references.

You can easily make shorts, YouTube videos, Instagram reels, or TikToks and speak and teach spiritual lessons while creating beautiful art. Or, you could take on longer projects like games or animations (though be sure to market them before creating them if you need financial support—a lot of people make the mistake of building their artistry before having an audience, making no cash on the release, - which wastes potential and motivation).

With regards to theatre, I am not that well-equipped with the theatre scene in Germany, but you could definitely see if there’s a pathway for you to become some sort of theatre artist, writer, or designer (you might want to research more about what jobs and requirements are out there for it). I'd still probably recommend mixing in some form of online income, maybe by promoting it or just showing the behind-the-scenes process of how you build, write, create, and design stories - what is the meaning behind them? Will get people way more hooked. We always wanna know the why behind the art!

I personally love what you wrote here, there are aspects of it I can relate to a lot. Really, all you need is a microphone (or a camera) (or a blog post/Twitter X), write down in your notes or journal the lessons you want to express, and then speak or write <3. Improve in whatever skill you’ve chosen, and in terms of the visual format, experiment with styles and find a medium that fits you the most.

We can also have a back-and-forth in this forum post so you can define it more clearly.

And of course, the last point: you don't have to have it defined perfectly. I’d suggest always starting something since you do have a generally narrowed-down idea(s), and slowly refining what works best for you – what gets you more in the flow, etc.

Let me know if you need further help!

[Xonas Pitfall]

Oh, I also didn’t see the teaching job part – that could be a great option too! Just make sure it doesn't drain you to the point where you feel unable to create things that truly fulfill you. If you can find a balance, though, that could be the perfect and easiest option, honestly.

[Jannes]

18 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I need to revise the Life Purpose Course. The problem is that I truly don't know myself or who I am. 

Damn I feel that. What's your personality type in the 16 personalities test btw. ?

18 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I deluded myself, imagining that I had strengths that I didn't have. I thought Math and Science was my zone of genius, but it turns out no.

How did you come to that conclusion though?

For myself I am pretty certain about many of my strengths. Because of all the problems adhd caused me I sunk deep into philosophy looking for answers. I was always reflected but I dont know to which extend the problems forced me to instead of me being naturally interested in it. So thats something I haven't figured out about myself which could pretty strongly change my set of values. 

[Jannes]

18 hours ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

Hey, this is amazing! Sick job completing the course! <3 We are proud of you!

I'd say you probably have two options (obviously, you have infinitely more, but to narrow down a general trend):

1. Either pursue a "side business" full-time, like a startup as you mentioned, since you have experience with them, and earn enough money passively, semi-passively, or even actively, but in a way that allows you a decent bit of free time (calculate how much that would be for you in Germany). You could either optimize for earning a lot so you can retire peacefully for a decent amount of years or enough to maintain a steady income while focusing on your Life Purpose.
2. Go straight for your Life Purpose, but then you'll need to be smart about how you’ll financially support yourself. The best option would always be building some sort of social media presence and marketing whatever it is you want to deliver. For whatever you want to sell, you always need eyeballs - that’s business 101. Here, I’d say you have a few options:

• Giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious.
• Finding existential beauty and meaning in difficult situations to make people more hopeful.

This sounds like you should focus on developing skillsets in visual media, animations, visual effects, drawing, painting - whatever you want (or even combining multiple). The focus should be on creating inspiring and emotionally moving experiences. It’s a beautiful Life Purpose. A lot of the time, just teaching won’t have the same impact as moving people through a powerful medium. I’d then suggest writing down what type of art and media moves you and defining what parts of that you’d like to replicate. Maybe some movies, series, shows, pieces of artwork? Anything to get your brain wondering, imagining, inspired . . . 💫💨❕❗ It's always infinitely much easier when you have references.

You can easily make shorts, YouTube videos, Instagram reels, or TikToks and speak and teach spiritual lessons while creating beautiful art. Or, you could take on longer projects like games or animations (though be sure to market them before creating them if you need financial support—a lot of people make the mistake of building their artistry before having an audience, making no cash on the release, - which wastes potential and motivation).

With regards to theatre, I am not that well-equipped with the theatre scene in Germany, but you could definitely see if there’s a pathway for you to become some sort of theatre artist, writer, or designer (you might want to research more about what jobs and requirements are out there for it). I'd still probably recommend mixing in some form of online income, maybe by promoting it or just showing the behind-the-scenes process of how you build, write, create, and design stories - what is the meaning behind them? Will get people way more hooked. We always wanna know the why behind the art!

I personally love what you wrote here, there are aspects of it I can relate to a lot. Really, all you need is a microphone (or a camera) (or a blog post/Twitter X), write down in your notes or journal the lessons you want to express, and then speak or write <3. Improve in whatever skill you’ve chosen, and in terms of the visual format, experiment with styles and find a medium that fits you the most.

We can also have a back-and-forth in this forum post so you can define it more clearly.

And of course, the last point: you don't have to have it defined perfectly. I’d suggest always starting something since you do have a generally narrowed-down idea(s), and slowly refining what works best for you – what gets you more in the flow, etc.

Let me know if you need further help!

Thanks for the reply there is a lot to cover.

Combining my LP with making money is pretty difficult atm because it would make my LP more stressful and I am still in the process of finding it. There are like 5 different things with potential I am just dipping my toe into, so I really dont know what it's going to be in the end. 

I am also in the process of healing and finding myself from all the years without meds and help so taking time some time for myself and letting things clear up naturally seems wiser then jumping straight into the hustle.

In terms of making money:

1) Teaching would be purely for that. It would take me some time to finish my studies but it would be a good option then. 

2) Doing some sort of start up would be an option as well but I DONT have experience in that field at all and it would be pretty risky because of it. And because a startup wouldnt even be my LP I dont think it's the best option for me right now. 

3) Earning money through my LP is a distant dream EXCEPT if I study to become an actor. But I dont know if becoming an actor really is my LP I think it just misses it. I want to have something to show for before I promote myself. Ideally I would like to do it freely because I love it and not because I have a massive audience which gives me confirmation. 

4) Also connecting with people, doing behind the scenes or social media work isnt really something I am good at, I think it would drain me more then studying. I could maybe start doing YouTube stuff though thats an idea. 

[Jannes]

All of what I have found in the LP course is correct I think. But my vision is very clouded and I couldn’t reveal everything about myself. 

I have always had a certain existential optimism about life. There is a certain beauty about every experience when you connect it to its existential structure where killing stems from a place of love and so on. And you experiencing reality and getting involved get first hand experience of this drama and can therefore marvel at the existential manifested. 
And it’s also about self love in all of this. You can deeply love not how bad your situation is but how deep you try to do the best and can structural beauty in that and fall in love in a deeper way with yourself. I was profoundly incredible at self love. 
This is maybe the best I can describe it, it’s hard to think of how I were thinking. 
I just feel like most people don’t value these traits and I feel so depleted. I have given up a little with falling in love with life or I am just so out of touch with it. Sometimes when I take a nap at noon or at random events some sunbeams of that once felt inner bliss still sting me for a short while. 

If I would write stories/ create art this is what they could be about. The inner struggle of falling in love with life. 

That’s how I could articulate it: 

Seeing the existential structure in fucked up situations to love reality profoundly.

 

[High-valance]

I'm ADHD (inattentive) 27 also have critical thinking as one of top strengths. 

In terms of application, you could use it for lots of things. For your LP, maybe not as straightforward or immediately obvious.

Personally i apply critical thinking to reasoning, philosophizing and debating really really well. As those are my domains of mastery. 

You mentioned you were studying philosophy, and critical thinking is obviously applicable to philosophy.

You can reason better, understand things in that domain better and generate new insights with strong critical thinking abilities. 

But maybe philosophy isn't your domain of mastery or related to your LP or you're not super passionate about it. it sounded like it mostly wasn't, or at least i didn't get that sense. 

But with ADHD i think it's especially important to follow your passion!

Of course, that's what you're trying to do already, but it's important to emphasize insofar as there’s more self discovery to be had & more alignment to be done. 

Trying to force yourself to do things you don’t genuinely want to do is probably not going to work in the long term. 

We (ADHDers) thrive when we're doing things we care about, so with people like us it's especially important to align our career goals with our passions and strengths.

Edited December 30, 2024 by High-valance

[Jannes]

33 minutes ago, High-valance said:

I'm ADHD (inattentive) 27 also have critical thinking as one of top strengths. 

I find it very interesting to hear how other adhd people are doing in life, are you doing alright?

And very interesting that you also got that as a top value. 

33 minutes ago, High-valance said:

In terms of application, you could use it for lots of things. For your LP, maybe not as straightforward or immediately obvious.

Personally i apply critical thinking to reasoning, philosophizing and debating really really well. As those are my domains of mastery. 

You mentioned you were studying philosophy, and critical thinking is obviously applicable to philosophy.

You can reason better, understand things in that domain better and generate new insights with strong critical thinking abilities. 

But maybe philosophy isn't your domain of mastery or related to your LP or you're not super passionate about it. it sounded like it mostly wasn't, or at least i didn't get that sense. 

Oh I am very much interested in philosophy. I just think that philosophy needs to be connected to psychology and art to be good. Basically all of the art and theatre plays I have ideas for would have some kind of philosophical catch to them. 

33 minutes ago, High-valance said:

But with ADHD i think it's especially important to follow your passion!

Of course, that's what you're trying to do already, but it's important to emphasize insofar as there’s more self discovery to be had & more alignment to be done. 

Trying to force yourself to do things you don’t genuinely want to do is probably not going to work in the long term. 

We (ADHDers) thrive when we're doing things we care about, so with people like us it's especially important to align our career goals with our passions and strengths.

Yes thats very true! 

Its just seems that there pretty much isnt anything I deeply care about atm. That comes from my semi depressed vision though there is a lot of emotional shit I have to work through. 

What the LP course unintentionally highlighted was how mentally unhealthy I am. Thats what I need to address. 

[Jannes]

On 30.12.2024 at 1:52 PM, Jannes said:

That’s how I could articulate it: 

Seeing the existential structure in fucked up situations to love reality profoundly.

A refined articulation: Finding existential beauty in fucked up situations to heal peoples traumas.

This isnt my LP I think but a element of my LP, a big value I articulated very well. 

How could I possibly come to that value if the worries of everyday life ate my alive without breathing room for higher consciousness? I couldnt possibly. That I didnt achieve mystical states of consciousness after 20 trips is proof enough for that. I have to get better first. 

Life keeps going though so I should pursue a path which allows me to pursue me LP later even if I know it just very vaguely now. 

[High-valance]

On 2024-12-31 at 0:10 AM, Jannes said:

I find it very interesting to hear how other adhd people are doing in life, are you doing alright?

And very interesting that you also got that as a top value. 

Oh I am very much interested in philosophy. I just think that philosophy needs to be connected to psychology and art to be good. Basically all of the art and theatre plays I have ideas for would have some kind of philosophical catch to them. 

Yes thats very true! 

Its just seems that there pretty much isnt anything I deeply care about atm. That comes from my semi depressed vision though there is a lot of emotional shit I have to work through. 

What the LP course unintentionally highlighted was how mentally unhealthy I am. Thats what I need to address. 

It's cool to meet someone similar to me here!

Depends on how you think of "doing allright". I wouldn't say i've achieved much in terms of conventional success yet. There has been a strong resistance to everything that hasn't been exactly what i have wanted to do. 

Between 2016 and 2019 i aquired a good knowledge base in personal development theory, myself and reality, on a theoretical level but also on a spiritual, existential and metaphysical level. 

And from 2019 until now, i've developed skills, abilties and career capital related my life purpose which is centered around philosophy. 

i haven't manifestated that into more concrete material success. Adhd might have played a role in this, it may have made a traditional time line harder to follow, but i feel like I'm on an unconventional but meaningful path.

And where i'm on that path right now i have a fucking really good base to stand on for the future in terms of more material success. I feel like this is the direction this are going now...

especially since having recently started with medication. I really resonate with your description of being on medication. i feel like I can manifest myself into the world, being more concrete than abstract. I feel medication will help manifest mental and cognitive development into more concrete, material sucess in the world. 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 2 by High-valance

[High-valance]

On 2024-12-31 at 0:10 AM, Jannes said:

I find it very interesting to hear how other adhd people are doing in life, are you doing alright?

And very interesting that you also got that as a top value. 

Oh I am very much interested in philosophy. I just think that philosophy needs to be connected to psychology and art to be good. Basically all of the art and theatre plays I have ideas for would have some kind of philosophical catch to them. 

Yes thats very true! 

Its just seems that there pretty much isnt anything I deeply care about atm. That comes from my semi depressed vision though there is a lot of emotional shit I have to work through. 

What the LP course unintentionally highlighted was how mentally unhealthy I am. Thats what I need to address. 

"Its just seems that there pretty much isnt anything I deeply care about atm" 

Is there anything that deeply excites you?

"That comes from my semi depressed vision" 

Semi depressed vision of what? 

"What the LP course unintentionally highlighted was how mentally unhealthy I am." 

Do you want to share more about that? 

 

 

[Jannes]

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

And from 2019 until now, i've developed skills, abilties and career capital related my life purpose which is centered around philosophy. 

what have you done?

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

i haven't manifestated that into more concrete material success. Adhd might have played a role in this, it may have made a traditional time line harder to follow, but i feel like I'm on an unconventional but meaningful path.

so relatable 

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

And where i'm on that path right now i have a fucking really good base to stand on for the future in terms of more material success. I feel like this is the direction this are going now...

sounds great!

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

especially since having recently started with medication. I really resonate with your description of being on medication. i feel like I can manifest myself into the world, being more concrete than abstract. I feel medication will help manifest mental and cognitive development into more concrete, material sucess in the world. 

I am very interested what the medication does on a deeper level in terms of your connection to reality. I feel less intelligent on medication actually, just more capable and confident. I feel like I am more absorbed into the dream. 

 

[Jannes]

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

"Its just seems that there pretty much isnt anything I deeply care about atm" 

Is there anything that deeply excites you?

Well that was kind of the question of the LP course and I didnt really find a good answer just a general direction and many things which kind of interest me.

The closest thing would probably be to heal people existentially, who feel betrayed by god. But I feel hurt and betrayed by god also. And I dont know if I just value that because I need it. 

- expressing metaphysical bliss to heal people existentially -

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

"That comes from my semi depressed vision" 

Semi depressed vision of what? 

My whole contemplation about what I want in life is clouded because I am semi depressed. It's natural, if you feel bad you dont like to do the things you normally like to do. If you felt bad for years you dont even know what you enjoy that much. 

5 hours ago, High-valance said:

"What the LP course unintentionally highlighted was how mentally unhealthy I am." 

Do you want to share more about that? 

Well I had though times socially all the way from kindergarden to high school being bullied and taken advantage of a lot. That resulted in a feeling of low self worth which made it difficult to even find friends in university. As a tactical move I went to a theatre club to find friends and grow my confidence and that was partly a total fuckup, it would be a very long story, but to put it short even there I had very bad social experiences and got really desperate as I didnt know what alternative I had. I can only really deal with social situations with medication now. And I am slowly managing the situations now. And I procrastinated so much in university and didnt know what was going on with me feeling incapable and like a failure. 

Neither healing nor getting shit done for a long time slowly eats at you. 

[Jannes]

In a certain sense even though I dont necessarily like how adhd meds change my psyche this is exactly what I need and craved. You cant eat or kiss abstractions. I need a more earthly grounding in this world. When I have that I can fly off as a balloon again.