Horrible story out of Ukraine.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

So this is from my personal life.

During the summer of 2023, I visited Germany.

I'm Russian (half Russian-Lebanese. 50/50 split), and the family I was staying with was Ukrainian. This was because my family knew this family very intimately.

The family consisted of a great grandmother in her 70's, and grandmother in her 50's, a mother in her 30's, 32 to be exact, and her son who was 6. Due to the war, they had obtained refugee status in Germany.

The husband of the 32 year old, who is also 32, was not in Germany, but in Ukraine. It is illegal for men in between the ages of 18 - 60 to leave Ukraine. It used to be 25 - 60, but they're getting desperate. Men are literally getting snatched off the street and thrown into a van to go to war.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ActualPublicFreakouts/comments/13ymf5u/odesa_ukraine_women_at_a_bus_stop_laugh_as_a_man/?utm_source=embedv2&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_content=post_title

To avoid this, the husband literally hid in his apartment for a total of three years.

Only very recently did he pay a human trafficker/people smuggler to illegally take him to Poland, where he made it to Germany.

Now back to the family. Before the war, they barely had any money for anything. My family would have to constantly donate to them my old hand-me-downs, as they couldn't afford basic clothing even though they were nurses and doctors. Very recently, I gave the 6 year old boy my old Washington Redskins hat, scarf, and mittens.

But the German Government is very generous to refugees, and they [the family] received a generous stipend from the Government. For the first time in their lives, they were able to travel to; Portugal, Spain, and Italy.

The poor husband came to his wife and kids, for whom he has not seen for three years, only to discover that the wife wants a divorce. Why? While she was in Italy, she met an Italian man for whom she has been dating.

The two elder women of the family are in tears, everyone else is perplexed and angry. It looks like she's going to divorce this poor man that she's been married to since I think aged 22 - 24? IDK.

Your thoughts?

Edited yesterday at 12:47 AM by Husseinisdoingfine
Reason for edit: It’s prohibited for men ages 18 - 60 to leave Ukraine, not 18 - 35. I got a fact wrong.

[Mirra]

Russian-Lebanese is a beautiful combination and very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if you're pro-Russia or pro-Hezbollah, but surely you could also understand the Western perspective if you're American.

The personal stuff about divorce is personal and there aren't enough details for me to judge it, and I don't see how it's different from a divorce happening in or caused by a non-war context as far as the ethics of it.

[Schizophonia]

You are tacitly suggesting she should be with him essentially out of culpability, not love.

[Raze]

I’m a little confused. The elder women lived with her right? Why didn’t they tell the husband? 

[Raze]

And I saw a video of a Ukrainian psychologist who said he was treating many men who were depressed because their wives fled while they had to stay only for them to be contacted and told she wants a divorce because she met someone else. It is common.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Broootaaal. Draft inequality, oofy-doofy-esque marriage out of convenience and natural female narcisism shown all in one post. Damn. That's a hatrick right there

Edited Thursday at 08:09 PM by NewKidOnTheBlock

[Husseinisdoingfine]

5 hours ago, Raze said:

I’m a little confused. The elder women lived with her right? Why didn’t they tell the husband? 

Don’t know the specific details.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

22 hours ago, Mirra said:

Russian-Lebanese is a beautiful combination and very interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if you're pro-Russia or pro-Hezbollah, but surely you could also understand the Western perspective if you're American.

I used to be super pro-Hezbollah and Russia, but then I studied Spiral Dynamics integral and Sociology, which helped pull me out of that poisonous mindset. What ultimately ended that way of thinking for me was the Conscious Politics Series.

My family is Shi'ite Muslim (as opposed to Sunni), so they tend to be pro Iran and Hezbollah.

22 hours ago, Mirra said:

The personal stuff about divorce is personal and there aren't enough details for me to judge it, and I don't see how it's different from a divorce happening in or caused by a non-war context as far as the ethics of it.

I can understand that perspective, but just take a look at it from the man's point of view. He was unfairly separated from his wife and family due to geopolitics for which he has no control of, forced to bunker down in his apartment like some sort of neckbeard hermit for almost three years now. He was probably missing his wife and kids, and now he has to deal with this new level of emotional pain. 

 

This is a problem for men who go off to war. Whether or not their wives will be faithful is usually not guaranteed. While thousands of men are sitting in some trench, the women are off in Europe somewhere living their best lives. 

[Raze]

16 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

 

I can understand that perspective, but just take a look at it from the man's point of view. He was unfairly separated from his wife and family due to geopolitics for which he has no control of, forced to bunker down in his apartment like some sort of neckbeard hermit for almost three years now. He was probably missing his wife and kids, and now he has to deal with this new level of emotional pain. 

 

This is a problem for men who go off to war. Whether or not their wives will be faithful is usually not guaranteed. While thousands of men are sitting in some trench, the women are off in Europe somewhere living their best lives. 

You should suggest to him resources to learn game so he can find a prettier new wife.

Italy has sky high infidelity rates so his ex wife may get karma eventually.