Hard Questions

[Candle]

 

1. I find myself having more empathy for female SA* survivors than male SA* survivors. Why? Bcz I'm a male? How do females feel about them? 
2. Why do we get hurt MORE when a female is violated and when someone pulls off clothes from a female? Bcz females are softer, more beautiful, and more innocent? Why do I care more about protecting females?
3. When someone touches a woman's breasts, it's a serious loss of dignity for her, but it's not usually the case for men. Do you agree that females associate their private parts with their dignity more than males do? (Bcz of social conditioning.)
4. Does pulling off clothes from a female create the same amount of trauma in them as it does for men? 

Why do we have more empathy for females? Is it okay to do so? 

*Sexual abuse/assault. 

Edited December 26, 2024 by Candle

[Xonas Pitfall]

Because of what the fundamental definition of "femininity" implies, along with societal conditioning.

Femininity is often associated with vulnerability, weakness, openness, purity, emotionality, beauty/ideal/perfection, love, care, and empathy.

Vulnerability/Weakness

When something is perceived as weaker or more vulnerable, we tend to respond more intensely to it because it feels "unfair." Consider why harming babies or children is such a significant issue. We understand the innocence and lack of defense mechanisms that make them easily influenced and open to impact. 

• Greater Impact: It hits harder and causes more pain to the fragile individual.
• Defenselessness: The perpetrator exploits something easily vulnerable, which makes them feel even more scummier and evil. "Pure evil" can only ever exist in the suffering of the truly innocent. The closer an action is to this "pure evil," the more it angers and emotionally affects us.

Openness, Purity, Naivety, Easily Influenced, Impacted

Similar to vulnerability, these traits explain the societal value placed on female virginity. Females are seen as more innocent, so harming them feels worse. There's also a misconception that any man would love to be sexually assaulted, believing it's a "jackpot" due to the assumption that men always seek sex (a very disgustingly harmful stereotype).

Emotionality and Expression

Emotional expression makes the impact more immersive. This is why those who express their pain vocally often receive more help than those who suffer in silence. When someone cries out, their sheer pain and terror are visible, drawing us into their experience. Immersion is key to empathy; the more someone immerses us in their world of suffering, the more we feel it. The gender that is more emotionally expressive conveys strong emotions of suffering, which we respond to more deeply.

Beauty/Ideal/Perfection

The more something is perceived as beautiful, the sadder its loss. Something endearing and perfect being ruined evokes a strong emotional response. We feel sadness and anger over the destruction of beauty. Hence why even aging can feel sad.

Less Threatening

We lower our guards and allow things to impact us more when they are perceived as less threatening. A person with a sturdy voice, strong, as in substance, construction, who seems put together, is harder to imagine as being harmed because we see them as a potential threat. However, when we see something weaker, we can immerse ourselves more easily in their vulnerability.

Care, Empathy, Nurture, Love

Things that feel more loving or caring are seen as inherently "good," and valuable. When such things are harmed, it feels more tragic. It evokes a strong emotional response because it feels like an attack on the very essence of goodness and purity. (Which we seem to inherently want to preserve and protect.)

[trenton]

14 hours ago, Candle said:

 Why do we have more empathy for females? Is it okay to do so? 

*Sexual abuse/assault. 

You may have internalized the belief that women have it worse due to historical oppression. It is important to understand that using this belief to invalidate the suffering of yourself and others is a form of emotional abuse and is unhealthy. Injustice can exist for anyone regardless of gender.

When males are sexually abused, It is usually a consequence of a broken institution or system. Most sexual abuse of males can be found in places like prisons and juvenile detention. Sometimes the police officers are willfully negligent of prisoners being beaten and raped because on some level it is believed that these men deserve to be raped. This is a clear violation of the constitutional protections against cruel and unusual punishments, but sexual abuse is still an implied punishment in practice.

In order to challenge this thought process, you need to maintain strong moral clarity that rape is never justice. Society does not care about these men being sexually abused because it is somehow believed that they deserve it for being criminals who were convicted to begin with. There is no such thing as deserving to be raped.

Furthermore, I was sexually assaulted and harassed on several occasions which made me extremely uncomfortable due to past trauma. It was invalidating when others expected me to rejoice in unwanted sexual contact. In a separate incident the community and my therapist didn't take me seriously as a pathological liar controlled the narrative.

Situations like these caused me lasting psychological harm especially as a child. Due to my difficulty in understanding this behavior as a result of gaslighting through playful demeanor, I became increasingly confused and it fed into my fears of becoming a perpetrator myself. This led to trauma based ocd.

There are other more severe stories you can read about if you want. I found them on an online forum called male survivor. Perhaps men receive less compassion because the usual perpetrator is male. If we want a better society, then injustice must be opposed no matter who the victim is.

Edited December 26, 2024 by trenton
Removing harmful content

[Candle]

6 hours ago, trenton said:

Removing harmful content

I had read the story. Sometimes horrible stories are needed for inspiration. It was not triggering for me.

 

@Xonas Pitfall you wrote a good answer. Can you tell me the name of your country, at least? Are you a male or a female? 

[Schizophonia]

Because they are more physically and psychically fragile. 🤔

[M A J I]

The energetic balance of masculine and feminine within you is unbalanced, ultimately that's why.

[trenton]

@Candle I'm glad you weren't triggered by it. The thing is that when I imagine how I would feel if I were that person it becomes traumatizing. I have a tendency to imagine everything in graphic detail every step of The way. This kind of imagery can get stuck in my head. If you imagine what it is like to be that person vividly enough it will hurt you. I recognized the harm this practice caused me and I don't want to cause that harm to others.

[Candle]

12 minutes ago, trenton said:

@Candle  I have a tendency to imagine everything in graphic detail every step of The way. This kind of imagery can get stuck in my head. If you imagine what it is like to be that person vividly enough it will hurt you. 

Relatable. Same with me. I get triggered by horrible stories. But not always. I have seen too many of them.

[Xonas Pitfall]

@Candle Ah, yes... from the enigmatic depths of an origin yet unspoken, I emerged... bearing within me the latent essence of yet another womb, an untold potential spiraling in infinite loops of possibility! However, the country of my origin remains a mystery. 💫 Kiss.

[Candle]

@Xonas Pitfall why mystery?  Are you imaginary? Continent at the very least? 

Edited December 27, 2024 by Candle

[Xonas Pitfall]

🧶✨ A squibbly-wibbly🧦 from the land of plopplesticks, where the bamboozleberries grow in the tickly-mist and the doo-woppers sing tunes only the flibberflops can hear! Do you know? 😚🎁

1 hour ago, Candle said:

Xonas Titfall. 

This is why your life will be miserable for all eternity. You will never know God. (Me)
(Jokes, of course, don't worry! <3 You don't need to delete your comment, was just teasing. Heehee.)

Edited December 27, 2024 by Xonas Pitfall

[integral]

Women are more emotional so when they're sovereignty is violated it means more to them than it would a man.

We are triggered into action by the emotional expression of others.

-- Next
We give roles to people based on many things like gender or their temperament and assigned those roles so that some people need to be protectors and strong and others need to be protected.

If Andrew Tate gets violated very few of us would care cuz his role is to be strong. (Not that he represents healthy strength)