Approaching Women Is A Waste of Time

[r0ckyreed]

7 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

This is so feminine. Women think this way, not men. Men, especially masculine men, don't mind making the first move especially in the initial stages. They don't go around thinking they want women to hit on them because they're too hot to pass up. That's not the masculine role. It doesn't have to be a strict role, per se, but it's just not how men usually want to be seen who are masculine. They want to be seen as someone who she would want to be with, but not for his looks but for the way he treats her, how she feels in his presence. Women are not supposed to be chasing men, it's just not how it works. A woman can allow for the space to make a man knows she's interested, but after that, it's a manly thing to pick up on that and to take it to the next level.

These aren't games women play, it's just how we're wired with the exception of a few.

All of that is a social construct. Ever since I was in the 4th grade, I questioned why women play the games they do and wait for the guy to ask them out. And sure, part of me is very feminine and there’s nothing wrong with that. I have my preferences of having a woman that doesn’t make me guess how she feels. I’m tired of all these games. I’m tired of being the 100th guy hitting on her. It doesn’t feel as fulfilling to me than being seen.

[r0ckyreed]

6 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Maybe you're looking for a way to vent your frustration. Be open to the idea that you might find your ideal partner some day. Women get rejected too. In the meantime focus on what makes you happy, whatever it may be. 

Thanks. This post isn’t about frustration but about a turning point. I have reconnected with the joy of being single and have felt less and less detachment to women which I think is a good thing. My sex drive is lower and all the thoughts that went to my ex and women are now going back into myself and in questioning reality.

 

[r0ckyreed]

I think many of you misunderstood. I’m not gonna stop approaching. I just don’t force it and make it the main focus. The main focus is to enjoy myself, work on my life purpose, and contemplate reality. If I am doing karaoke and dancing, I might say hi to someone who seems kind and interesting. I’m just not forcing it. I think approaching is an empowering skill to have. It’s making my whole life and self worth about approaching and approval that stops. I’ll play some games with women too. But the main thing is that I don’t feel a strong desire to force things to happen. I feel content being single because this means that I can flirt and approach whoever I want if I want. But since I stopped thinking about pursuing women, I have finally been thinking more about consciousness and reality. 

Edited Thursday at 11:57 AM by r0ckyreed

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

But your so called insticts are not there

Yes there are. They are always there

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

because you are actually a slave to a blackpill ideology

It's not an ideology, it's the truth. There's no need to defend a truth, just open your eyes. Actually, the only real proper question to ask is, to which degree is it true?

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

so you will mess up your "escalation"

There is no way to mess up the escalation when the girl is already attracted to you. Period. Any "messing up" that could happen in that scenario is completely outside of your control.

You make this shit way more complicated than it really is.

Edited Thursday at 12:34 PM by NewKidOnTheBlock

[NoSelfSelf]

45 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

Yes there are. They are always there

It's not an ideology, it's the truth. There's no need to defend a truth, just open your eyes. Actually, the only real proper question to ask is, to which degree is it true?

There is no way to mess up the escalation when the girl is already attracted to you. Period. Any "messing up" that could happen in that scenario is completely outside of your control.

You make this shit way more complicated than it really is.

Everything can be true under certen criteria so ofcourse looks matter but at the same time it doesnt.

I messed up alot with what you call 9/10 in looks ,they would be so receptive at first but because i though they are beautiful, i found a way to sabotage it,so you can mess it up its happening more often than not.

[Sugarcoat]

There’s different ways to go about the same thing. And this being about relationships, pickup, sex etc. You can do it in way where you sacrifice your authenticity, where it’s about getting the woman so you change yourself based on what you think she will like, you might emulate people who have what you consider “success”, or you could do it in a completely authentic way, not sacrificing anything. This doesn’t guarantee the same results, but since results aren’t the focus it’s not a concern for you. Whichever you do will decide how you feel about it, if it feels wasteful or not. You end your post by saying if you ever get in a relationship it will be “organically” and you contrast it against what you previously call inauthenticity . This is what I mean. There’s different ways of going about the same thing 

Edited Thursday at 01:27 PM by Sugarcoat

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

5 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I messed up alot with what you call 9/10 in looks ,they would be so receptive at first but because i though they are beautiful, i found a way to sabotage it,so you can mess it up its happening more often than not.

Yeah but is that really "messing up" or is that just a way dating works nowadays? Especially legit 9/10 women (I don't like a rating system it's better to just call them beautiful or above average at least. In general it's best to use below average-average-above average metric system in my opinion) you know they're the ones getting the most attention (crazy ammount), how can you know whether it wasn't just her ego or whatever. How can you know for sure it was your fault. Plus if you go well above your league (althought aiming somewhat above your league is the best approach still, just to have access to the best genes in case you'd want a child with her) you're basically guaranteed it's going to be hard for you

[NoSelfSelf]

25 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

Yeah but is that really "messing up" or is that just a way dating works nowadays? Especially legit 9/10 women (I don't like a rating system it's better to just call them beautiful or above average at least. In general it's best to use below average-average-above average metric system in my opinion) you know they're the ones getting the most attention (crazy ammount), how can you know whether it wasn't just her ego or whatever. How can you know for sure it was your fault. Plus if you go well above your league (althought aiming somewhat above your league is the best approach still, just to have access to the best genes in case you'd want a child with her) you're basically guaranteed it's going to be hard for you

No i dont look it like me being a victim of "modern dating" its everything on me, all the accountability im placing on me because i dont care about getting women but being better me.

Why would you place women as object of desire? Then judge yourself by the narrative and her stories ,when that all doesnt apply to one who can stimulate the emotions.How you stimulate the emotions? by being the experience she never felt before then you get like a drug in her veins.Every other guy is focused on women and modern dating,black pill,red pill that's precisely what makes you same like everybody else,no stimulation of her mind.

By messing up i mean getting in my feelings,if i know im at my best at the moment and she saying no its okay it doesnt matter.

Its more of not giving yourself a chance to even be the best you by not even focusing on all this bs about looks,money,status,modern women.

 

Edited Thursday at 02:00 PM by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Not necessarily. I have always been content with being single. It was only after my first longterm relationship that I started using this subforum. Heartbreak does that to you. But I feel like my life is better off without all that drama. I used to be frustrated with the dating scene, but I realized that it’s a waste of time. At this point, I don’t put any effort into women. I still am on the dating apps, and there’s some dates I will be going on. But I am much more detached. I’m not chasing anymore, I am attracting. I made this post because I wanted to articulate how I feel at this stage. It’s kinda like my motivation to journal. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce and maybe another 25% are unfulfilled marriages. I am only gonna play games I can win. When I am chasing women, I am losing the game with myself. I am still gonna go out, party, flirt, and all that. I’m not gonna limit myself. But I find a lot of freedom in being single. But you can interpret it how you want.

Ok, putting it this way I can understand. You made it sound as if you weren't even going to go out dating at all. This comment here is of a different energy than the original one, like a 360. I wouldn't have said what I said if this was the comment I saw because it is actually confirming what my thoughts are. Good luck on the dating scene and try not to get caught up on statistics; you could be the upper 50% where it works out for you. Life is about experiences, not the results of them. Even if there's a divorce, so what; you loved. Not taking it lightly just showing how unpredictable and spontaneous life is and it's not trying to limit itself and constrain itself with predictable equations. It just is. 

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

@Princess Arabia You are wrong. If a man is good looking enough there's a lot of women who will approach him or at least show him very significant choosing signals. Or if they want to use him for status or money. Either way, whether it's natural or unnatural way, this disproves your claims completely

Please read my statements again. I never said women don't, I said they're not supposed to. Then I went on to say or insinuate/imply the very thing you've said here about "showing him choosing signals" as you put it. I said something similar to that. 

Secondly, men use women for sex and women use men for money. Men enjoy sex with women who are willing and men enjoy giving their money to women. No one uses anyone for status. Just because a woman has sex with a man, doesn't mean that man is using her for sex and just because a woman is given money by a man, it doesn't mean she's using him for it. These are the only times it seems people use people, never in the consumerism world where we use companies to get what we want and they provide us with what we want, only in this field it's looked at as using. Do you say the phone company is using you as a customer, no. Well, same thing. It's all commodity and when you look at the next female and rate her out of ten, you'll know what I mean.

Thirdly, you are not wrong in what you say, opinions are just that, opinions. I'll never tell someone their opinions are wrong, I'll just state my own.

Edited Thursday at 03:07 PM by Princess Arabia

[r0ckyreed]

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ok, putting it this way I can understand. You made it sound as if you weren't even going to go out dating at all. This comment here is of a different energy than the original one, like a 360. I wouldn't have said what I said if this was the comment I saw because it is actually confirming what my thoughts are. Good luck on the dating scene and try not to get caught up on statistics; you could be the upper 50% where it works out for you. Life is about experiences, not the results of them. Even if there's a divorce, so what; you loved. Not taking it lightly just showing how unpredictable and spontaneous life is and it's not trying to limit itself and constrain itself with predictable equations. It just is. 

 
Being single is amazing. I’m embracing it at this point in my life. Who knows what the next chapter will bring. I got nothing to lose. It is kinda sad that a lot of people don’t seem to see the amazing freedom of being single.

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

 
Being single is amazing. I’m embracing it at this point in my life. Who knows what the next chapter will bring. I got nothing to lose. It is kinda sad that a lot of people don’t seem to see the amazing freedom of being single.

Cope.

[El Rizzidente]

@r0ckyreed

This is not at all true. 

but approaching women with bad vibe and technique is

I promise if you fix at least the vibe, you will do a 180 on  your position almost instaneously

because let's be honest man- nothing is more important than anything else (meaning is all relative).
 

and you do not want to go thru life without getting your dick sucked. So don't be ashamed about "chasing pussy"- this is just a cope that we adopt from society, to motivate ourselves to "contribute meaningfully" to society

 

[El Rizzidente]

@r0ckyreed to further add to my point, try this- go back to approaching women, but do it with the  mindset that you are just as happy being the "virgin" you claim you wish to be

if you need any pointers, DM me

[Dauntment]

@r0ckyreed

Congrats on the "level" you reached; most guys never make it that far due the endless waves of societal pressure and conditioning they faced.

Deep advice though: Be cautious when sharing these "truths" (or...."opinions"), you WILL receive backlash (mostly from women) and narratives/reasoning(s) that will implicitly encourage/pressure you to "change your mind" for reasons I won't go into...here.