life is passing me by. no will to continue living anymore.

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, zurew said:

Random question:

Do you have any comments/opinion on spiritual awakening making therapy redundant or is that a huge cope and it is just spiritual bypassing?

 

Because imo, just because someone has the realization that they are not the ego, its not clear whether the problems and the maladaptive habits/behaviors of the injured ego will go away.

Imo I would say that is spiritual bypassing.

Because even if you live in a blissful state, let alone just access it, you would still have to work with your ego to untangle all the extreme features it has resorted in the face of life’s pressures.

[Ulax]

5 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

I hear this opinion frequently from men and women alike.

In all cases this declaration amounts to no more than a self-snitch.

Like someone who picks up a violin for the first time, utterly fails to make any coherent sound, and concludes that violin is "overrated"

Good point

[Ulax]

5 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

I hear this opinion frequently from men and women alike.

In all cases this declaration amounts to no more than a self-snitch.

Like someone who picks up a violin for the first time, utterly fails to make any coherent sound, and concludes that violin is "overrated"

Good point

[zurew]

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

Because even if you live in a blissful state, let alone just access it, you would still have to work with your ego to untangle all the extreme features it has resorted in the face of life’s pressures.

Yeah, the scary thing is that once you have easy access to it, you can sort of use it to run away from the work that you would need to do on your ego otherwise (mostly refering to trauma work, but there is more than "just" that).

Some of the techniques are very fucking effective in making you cope with life and with yourself, but the underlying root issue in some cases will stay in place. In certain cases, its probably irresponsible to teach these techniques, because even though they might make you a functioning individual, they will make it harder for you to do the hard work to address the root issue.

[integral]

@Conscious- this guy needs to get addicted to chess. Chess before chests, always. 👏 

[Ulax]

36 minutes ago, zurew said:

Yeah, the scary thing is that once you have easy access to it, you can sort of use it to run away from the work that you would need to do on your ego otherwise (mostly refering to trauma work, but there is more than "just" that).

Some of the techniques are very fucking effective in making you cope with life and with yourself, but the underlying root issue in some cases will stay in place. In certain cases, its probably irresponsible to teach these techniques, because even though they might make you a functioning individual, they will make it harder for you to do the hard work to address the root issue.

Maybe.

Its hard for me to think about with out specific examples.

[zurew]

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

Maybe.

Its hard for me to think about with out specific examples.

 

[PsychedelicEagle]

On 12/25/2024 at 3:54 PM, Conscious- said:

I can bench press 90 kg now. It’s the one area of my life where I feel accomplished because all it takes is dedication to sleep, food, and training. The gym has become my only source of hope.

That's quite some weight, congrats on your achievements! And if you enjoy the gym, keep going. The whole process helps build discipline and self-confidence, which you can then leverate elsewhere. It's not necessary to be successful in one area to become successful in another, but it often helps.

As for improving in other areas: improving in the gym is no different than anything else. As Leo has taught before, everything is the same and everything is different at the same time; it depends on the distinctions you create.

Lenses you can use to distinguish different areas where you want to improve are stochasticity and the frequency of outcomes. Let me elaborate below.

 

Stochasticity - How directly and consistently your actions influence your outcomes.

We can say going to the gym is nearly deterministic, because following the basics directly influence the outcomes. If you sleep, train, and eat well you are directly influencing your muscle and strength gains. Social interactions, on the other hand, are highly stochastic, because your actions (speaking well, being funny, conveying the right body language, expressing yourself authentically) do not necessarily entail picking up a particular girl, due to her initial preferences, circumstances of the environment, the moment of both of your lives, etc.

In this way, inferring causality in highly stochastic processes is more challenging due to noise when measuring outcomes. You can say all the wrong things yet pick up a girl just because she was horny that day (if you go out often enough this will happen). The problem is, how to improve? I.e., how to know which actions produced the right outcomes? And how to know YOU are improving?

Frequency of outcomes - How often or common it is to have an outcome.

We can say going to the gym has a relative medium to high frequency of outcome in that you can often check how much you can lift and how you look and directly relate that to your most recent actions. Conversely, picking up girls has a low frequency of outcome in that when you're beginning it's rare for you to score, and you can go months or years without a signal.

In this way, processes with low frequency of outcomes are more challenging because again it's hard to connect actions to progress.

 

Then, how do you solve these issues?

For stochasticity, the simplest way is increasing the sample size. That means having a massive number of social interactions, such that the noise will fade away given how many data points you have. It obviously also directly contributes to your own personal experience and learning.

For the low frequency of outcomes, you use the concept of lead measures, borrowing from the 4 Disciplines of Execution methodology. A lead measure measures whether you're likely to achieve the goal:

Quote

For example, while you can't control how often your car breaks down on the road (a lag measure), you can certainly control how often your car receives routine maintenance (a lead measure). And the more you act on the lead measure, the more likely you are to avoid that roadside breakdown.

I'll leave up to you to decide which measures to use as lead measure, but some ideas would be, how many girls you talk to per day. Notice the lead measure does not even need to be a successful interaction. It can just be any interaction. Under the premise that the more you interact, the better you get at conveying your true intentions in a smooth manner.

[Conscious-]

On 12/30/2024 at 9:21 PM, Candle said:

My intuition told me after reading this that he must be an Indian male. And I was right. 

I have also failed in some exams bro. I know it's hard. But start afresh with a new motivation. At some point you will have to bounce back. 

KHHV is an acronym standing for kissless, handholdless, hugless virgin.  

yes,

17 hours ago, Ulax said:

The bolded therapies aren’t just about connecting with feelings and analysis. They are based around changing your attachment styles and actively letting go of traumatic reactions in your psyche 

thanks for your reply i will look into it.

16 hours ago, zurew said:

Random question:

Do you have any comments/opinion on spiritual awakening making therapy redundant or is that a huge cope and it is just spiritual bypassing?

 

Because imo, just because someone has the realization that they are not the ego, its not clear whether the problems and the maladaptive habits/behaviors of the injured ego will go away.

i feel awaking is very exaggerated, but I am a beginner in spirituality and meditation.

i listen, and understand more about nonduality and stuff through Advaita vedant, upnishad-type stuff. 

i initially got into spirituality after being a nihilist for a long time just to see a new perspective on life.

[Conscious-]

On 12/31/2024 at 1:35 AM, numbersinarow said:

Shakespeare tends to be about women. And a lot of books deal with a male's relation with a woman. Shakespeare and Poe will never be first rate intellects because they had a too optimistic view of women. Nietzsche is the opposite deal since he goes too far when saying women are inferior (AKA when talking about that topic), but at the same time he prefaces his criticism, the only criticism he would ever go on to apologize for, with saying that it's only his truths being told. A lot of bad books tend to be about women too, if you let the mainstream tell you what to read you'll be reading tons about romance.

As for the music, that just means you probably should find different music to listen to, or already have but are exaggerating.

No, even when considering Russian authors like Leo Tolstoy, whose famous work Anna Karenina centers on women's experiences, it's clear that many literary works highlight female perspectives. For instance, James Joyce's Ulysses and F. Scott Fitzgerald's novels also reference women significantly. While I can't name every example, it’s evident that women's roles are often woven into the narratives of these prominent authors.I believe pop culture serves to represent universal themes that resonate with the majority, which is why we see a plethora of romantic music, novels, and films. Love has been idealized over time because many poets and writers have drawn inspiration from spiritual love, transforming it into a concept that often obscures the physical act of sex.This idealization began during the Romantic era in English literature, a time when the British Empire was a dominant colonial power. They controlled the narrative around cultural and emotional expressions. This continues to influence modern culture and societal perceptions today.

mostly I feel art that I consume passively has a mode of being virtuous and validated to be superior in being.

 

 

 

i have more to write but I will later but thanks for your reply

 

@zurew what you think?

 

Edited January 1 by Conscious-

[Conscious-]

@Schizophonia 

On 12/31/2024 at 1:32 AM, Schizophonia said:

Spot on.

I am still figuring things out, but I am very sure about pursuing a master's degree and changing what I want to do.As of now, I am in my hometown because I lack the money so moving out if not an option, and a master's degree is necessary for me since I didn't do very well in college. I also lost interest in computer science, so I need to change my career field.I plan to expand my social circle in college. Attending a top college will give me the advantage of recruiting and networking with some of the best minds in the country, so I feel that will be worth it.

[numbersinarow]

10 hours ago, Conscious- said:

No, even when considering Russian authors like Leo Tolstoy, whose famous work Anna Karenina centers on women's experiences, it's clear that many literary works highlight female perspectives. For instance, James Joyce's Ulysses and F. Scott Fitzgerald's novels also reference women significantly. While I can't name every example, it’s evident that women's roles are often woven into the narratives of these prominent authors.I believe pop culture serves to represent universal themes that resonate with the majority, which is why we see a plethora of romantic music, novels, and films. Love has been idealized over time because many poets and writers have drawn inspiration from spiritual love, transforming it into a concept that often obscures the physical act of sex.This idealization began during the Romantic era in English literature, a time when the British Empire was a dominant colonial power. They controlled the narrative around cultural and emotional expressions. This continues to influence modern culture and societal perceptions today.

mostly I feel art that I consume passively has a mode of being virtuous and validated to be superior in being.

 

 

 

i have more to write but I will later but thanks for your reply

 

@zurew what you think?

 

That's an example I knew about, I'm not excluding anything else, just commenting on what is.

But thanks for letting me know that Ulysses centers heavily on womanhood, I'll push that book way down the reading list now.

I don't need to describe to you the absolute and utter disconnect between the idealization of women in books compared to the actual experience a male could have with them today.

Maybe that idealization started during the romantic period but if you read shakespeare's sonnets you will see that the level of woman-worship is borderline nuts.

An incredible amount of media you can consume is completely dedicated to pretending that the bloodthirstiness of women that Nietzsche appears to be the first to bring up out of the Europeans of the last 300 years, does not exist.

[Conscious-]

7 hours ago, numbersinarow said:

That's an example I knew about, I'm not excluding anything else, just commenting on what is.

But thanks for letting me know that Ulysses centers heavily on womanhood, I'll push that book way down the reading list now.

I don't need to describe to you the absolute and utter disconnect between the idealization of women in books compared to the actual experience a male could have with them today.

Maybe that idealization started during the romantic period but if you read shakespeare's sonnets you will see that the level of woman-worship is borderline nuts.

An incredible amount of media you can consume is completely dedicated to pretending that the bloodthirstiness of women that Nietzsche appears to be the first to bring up out of the Europeans of the last 300 years, does not exist.

Ulysses is not about women but his wife Molly having an affair, and our guy is getting cucked.

most of the plays and tragedies also descend from greek tragedies and names are as like,

odyssey homer Ilia,d, etc. but you got my point.

i am also on Shakespeare's level while worshiping and simping for women lol.

[numbersinarow]

1 hour ago, Conscious- said:

i am also on Shakespeare's level while worshiping and simping for women lol.

Not quite sure what that means but it sounds pretty funny.

[jacknine119]

@Conscious- Great music!