Incredible breakthrough in self discovery

[molosku]

I have not been active in the forum for quite some time, but just wanted to drop by and share my experience. For +12 years I have been searching for SOMETHING missing, something not quite clicking, and explanation into why I find life so difficult and full of suffering. I made a huge bet into nonduality and was 100% convinced all my problems can be boiled down to ego related integration issues and lack of seeing clearly in metaphysical terms. I even achieved a few incredible transcendent experiences along the way, but they of course were short lived and ultimately did not help me. Eventually through taking time of and travelling for 6 months in nepal and india, giving me time to reflect and really look into my experience and connect the dots I realised:

 

I’m a high masking/low support needs AuDHD (mix of autism and adhd)

 

I wont do an exhaustive explanation on the aspects of what my life has looked like in the past, but I can tell you that EVERYTHING makes sense now. I really have so few questions left to ask. Only thing left is to try my best o align my life according to my fixation/special interest (electronic music and sound design) and thats pretty much it, my life is done. 

I will eventually get back to nonduality seeiously again (because of course there is an infinity yet unrealised) but right now embrasing my fixation gives me way more joy than the metaphysical. Its quite overwhelming (and sad at the same time, as I must embrace that my life will forever will be quite difficult in day to day basis). But im not looking for a fix/medicine anymore, there never was an illness or really a problem or fault, its just me. The amount of relief is incredible, i feel like bursting to tears all the time. The more i research the more seamless and fully explanatory everything is. Holy FUCK folks! 

All the best guis, good luck out there <3

 

[Rishabh R]

44 minutes ago, molosku said:

and india

Hi , a comment from an Indian here. What looking at your breakthrough reminds me of looking every problem as an opportunity by developing a growth mindset. Even though your path is different but difficulties have presented you with beautiful opportunities and will be present in the future for you too. Best of luck .

[molosku]

well put  thanks!

[M A J I]

Well done, That's what life's about. Being where you truly are fully and completely.