The Renaissance Man

Women: Help Me Understand Before vs After Sex

23 posts in this topic

To the women of the forum. Especially in the context of pickup.

Do you feel it's true for you that before sex happens, the man is completely unimportant and irrelevant to you, even if you had a great time on a date?

I'm talking about a great impression without sex vs a great impression with sex.

So, even after a great date or first interaction, but still no sex between you, your likelihood of flaking is much higher. Do you feel this is true?

This question stems from what I remember Leo saying in the how to get laid series on YT: before sex, you're nobody to the girl, regardless of how the previous interactions went.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your importance to her is based on value and investment, having sex is one way that creates more investment, but investment can be created without it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, The Renaissance Man said:

This question stems from what I remember Leo saying in the how to get laid series on YT: before sex, you're nobody to the girl, regardless of how the previous interactions went.

Must think pretty low of women if you think we look to have sex with men we think are nobody's. I remember him saying something like that too, but I paid it no mind. Now, I see how it had an impact enough to be asked about. I don't know why you guys are taking advice from Leo about relationships and sex. It's beyond me. Yes, he's intelligent, smart and all that and he knows a lot and can help you guys tremendously in the self-improvement field, spirituality and a lot more.

Sex and relationships and knowledge of the female gender is not his expertise and his advice on that will only leave you all more confused when you go out into the real world and see how real women are when you interact with them. I'm not saying he never gives any advice worth taking on this subject, but most of it is based on his own experience and that is based on his personality and so his interactions will be different from yours, plus when you're looking to just get laid, that will also be from a different mindset.

Saying women think you're a nobody before sex, then proceed to have sex with you anyway, doesn't compute with the female's way of thinking. So, we get dressed, put in time and energy to go on a date with Mr. Irrelevant and Mr. Unimportant because we are airheads, dumb and stupid, illogical, emotional and are waiting for someone to stick it to us first before we start to show how much we care because we are airheads, dumb and stupid because that's all it takes for women to value a man..it's the way he pumps us in bed. 

No wonder you're asking this question. Probably puzzled by it's complexities. 

To answer your question, it depends on the female. It's that simple. Nothing more needs to be said there. 

Women aren't impressed with your sex. They're impressed with how you treat them and how you make them feel outside of the bedroom and that's where they express their responses - in the bedroom. You'll never have great sex with a woman if you don't bring out those feelings prior to sex. Her sex with you is dependent on how she felt prior. 

Edited by Princess Arabia

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"the women" is not an entity who has an attitude. There are women that never would have sex with you without a deep connection and confidence and others who tries to fuck 1000 men in 24 h, same than men, and us, the men and women, often are so stupid that act disconnected of ourselves to fit, doing a lot of things that are out of our real behavior, losing what is our real behavior and being treacherous to ourselves to fit in the mold 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Breakingthewall said:

"the women" is not an entity who has an attitude. There are women that never would have sex with you without a deep connection and confidence and others who tries to fuck 1000 men in 24 h, same than men, and us, the men and women, often are so stupid that act disconnected of ourselves to fit, doing a lot of things that are out of our real behavior, losing what is our real behavior and being treacherous to ourselves to fit in the mold 

Stick to opening up to infinity. Leave the women having sex with 1000/24hrs out of this. They don't exist. Hehe. 


 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Stick to opening up to infinity. Leave the women having sex with 1000/24hrs out of this. They don't exist. Hehe. 

Yes, there is one who has this challenge to 2025, in 2024 she fucked 100 in 24h

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Yes, there is one who has this challenge to 2025, in 2024 she fucked 100 in 24h

That's just one woman. Imagine how many perverted men there are to be fucking women who fuck 100 men in a day, not to mention 1000 men. Where do we find these men, everywhere. Where do we find these women....on speciality news reports. The women aren't the problem.

Edited by Princess Arabia

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

That's just one woman. Imagine how many perverted men there are to be fucking women who fuck 100 men in a day, not to mention 1000 men. Where do we find these men, everywhere. Where do we find these women....on speciality news reports.

True, if any man could, when we were in school at 13, 14 years old, we would fuck all the girls of school , 3 per day, in rotative turns. I think that 80% of men would do that if it were possible. Women are very different, they do very strange things like don't want to fuck with anyone who's not her boyfriend, except if he's famous, then yes. It's more pervert in my opinion 

Edited by Breakingthewall

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, The Renaissance Man said:

Do you feel it's true for you that before sex happens, the man is completely unimportant and irrelevant to you, even if you had a great time on a date?

In my opinion Women use to have sex for two reasons: because they see you as a possible partner, or because they feel very horny about you. It's not because they had a great time in a date, that's friend zone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, The Renaissance Man said:

Do you feel it's true for you that before sex happens, the man is completely unimportant and irrelevant to you, even if you had a great time on a date?

Of course they don't percieve it that way.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

In my opinion Women use to have sex for two reasons: because they see you as a possible partner, or because they feel very horny about you.

25 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

 

Seeing you as a possible partner/bf usually makes us stall a bit longer. It's usually the second reason amongst others.


 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Seeing you as a possible partner/bf usually makes us stall a bit longer. It's usually the second reason amongst others.

Well the other reason, just sexual attraction, It should also take some time. If it is on the first date it is superficial, it means that the person bases their attraction on superficial reasons, not on there being real chemistry, for this to happen it takes some time. Fast food is junk food, but well, it depends of the person I guess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 22/12/2024 at 3:11 AM, The Renaissance Man said:

Do you feel it's true for you that before sex happens, the man is completely unimportant and irrelevant to you, even if you had a great time on a date?

This is completely false and invented bullshit. Women are actually more pleased if you don't want sex on the very first date. It's a good sign. A woman's greatest fear is falling in love or falling for a fuck boy. She wants to avoid that at all costs. 

When I went on dates, I enjoyed them and I liked the men even if there was no sex. So it's not true. You matter to the woman just as much with or without sex. 

What matters to us first and foremost is how you come across to us. We want someone kind, gentle, funny, matured and understanding. 


My name is Sara. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@The Renaissance Man

Pickup innately will draw to you, women who are unhealed. Damaged.

Most women are. Most men are.

You will draw to yourself, the person who is your energetic match.

If you use pickup (I tailor my response as you nominated this as your context) you will draw out a vibrational match.

You go into it looking to 'get', so you will draw to yourself another soul in it to 'get'.

Not healthy.

A narcissist - man - (here, pickup can be toxic and encourage such behavior) will draw to themselves a people pleaser - woman - with no boundaries.

The narcissist will take. The people pleaser will give. The lack of boundaries from the people pleaser is a form of self betrayal. They will resent the narcissist and begin to withdraw to protect their giving nature. This can include withdrawing sex & affection. The narcissist & the people pleaser are no better than each other. The narcissist will be left confused and attempt to get using any method possible. And so the toxic cycle begins. The genders can be swapped.

Pickup does have some great self development within it, authenticity being an example.

For myself, as a women, having sex with a man never diminished my attraction.

Sex creates a bond with a person. It's an energy exchange. Everything is just energy.

You must take care with who you exchange this energy. You might not be able to feel it if you aren't clean. Good food, sleep, pure water. Movement

Many people with unhealed souls don't understand the bond this creates. They react in strange ways to the energy exchange: some end up closer & cling, some absolutely freak out and run.

Don't get lost in pleasure. And don't confuse pleasure with happiness & peace.

Plus, the further you delve into knowing yourself... contemplation, meditation, psychedelics - the more you realize there are things out there that are much much more pleasurable, enjoyable.

If you can find yourself such a woman, who for example, you can meditate with, I promise you it's possible to have an orgasm better than anything you have ever experienced. No 'release'

I have healed through my own previous issues. I was a people pleaser. Anxiously attached. It took many relationship cycles to learn the message & why I was repeating the same mistakes. I supply this last note, as some context for the above. Because I am fully aware I am not the norm in the slightest.

Currently I do not have much hope to find my energetic match in a male.

I go inwards now

I hope this might be of assistance & I wish you well, seeker :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Buck Edwards I have exaggerated the phrasing too much to get the point across, my fault...

I didn't mean completely unimportant to the woman after having a great time, but I recall Leo saying in his series the crucial importance of sex in creating a bond, especially for the woman.

Maybe he meant that her seriousness changes drastically after sex, but this doesn't mean that before that she considered him completely unimportant. So you do enjoy the date, but the risk of losing her is "much higher" if sex didn't happen. It was probably taught in the context of: don't wait for 2 months, going all the way is important for creating a bond, not necessarily being pushy on the 1st date.

What I got (and maybe I was completely wrong) was that sex is disproportionally more important for a woman to create that commitment and seriousness, while for many men it's a lot less of that, and more "balanced" we may say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, The Renaissance Man said:

@Buck Edwards I have exaggerated the phrasing too much to get the point across, my fault...

I didn't mean completely unimportant to the woman after having a great time, but I recall Leo saying in his series the crucial importance of sex in creating a bond, especially for the woman.

Maybe he meant that her seriousness changes drastically after sex, but this doesn't mean that before that she considered him completely unimportant. So you do enjoy the date, but the risk of losing her is "much higher" if sex didn't happen. It was probably taught in the context of: don't wait for 2 months, going all the way is important for creating a bond, not necessarily being pushy on the 1st date.

What I got (and maybe I was completely wrong) was that sex is disproportionally more important for a woman to create that commitment and seriousness, while for many men it's a lot less of that, and more "balanced" we may say.

I think time is more important to women than sex. It's the sunk cost fallacy sort of a thing. If she spends more time with you with or without sex, she is going to think more seriously about you because she has already invested so much time with you. She doesn't want to regret that. So she might desperately want to make it work. A lot of men take advantage of this mentality of women. They play them along. 


My name is Sara. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, The Renaissance Man said:

but the risk of losing her

You never had her. 

 

7 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

don't wait for 2 months, going all the way is important for creating a bond, not necessarily being pushy on the 1st date.

Seems like you think it's up to you. These comments are surely grossing me out. Don't wait for 2mths and going all the way also depends on what the female decides. There is no "don't wait for 2mths" and "going all the way" by yourself and without compliance from the female. 


 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Princess Arabia So what I say and how I behave has no influence on how well, or how fast things go? I think it's up to me because it's very up to me. If it wasn't, then the whole discussion about getting better at socializing is useless, because "it's about what they decide". And that's clearly not the case.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now