How to grow confidence among confident guys?

[UnbornTao]

5 hours ago, Davino said:

Why this shit seems human national geographic

I love it!

Just add some narrated nature commentary in the background as if the humans were wild animals. 

By GPT: 

Quote

Here, in the heart of the urban jungle, we witness a fascinating display of human social behavior. The gathering, known as a ‘party,’ is an intricate dance of rituals, each individual carefully selecting their position in the group. Observe as the males, adorned in various colors and patterns, engage in elaborate vocalizations, vying for the attention of potential mates. The females, ever discerning, display subtle body language cues, evaluating the quality of the displays and interactions.

Notice the exchange of food and drink—an important social bonding activity, akin to the grooming rituals of primates. The stronger, more dominant individuals tend to form cliques, asserting their status through laughter and loud vocalizations. Meanwhile, the more introverted members find solace in the periphery, scanning the environment for any signs of threat or opportunity.

There is a curious phenomenon of mimicry in this setting. Some individuals, seeking to increase their standing within the group, imitate the behaviors of the more influential. And as the night deepens, the once orderly formations begin to dissolve into chaotic movement.

 

Edited 20 hours ago by UnbornTao

[The Renaissance Man]

@Sugarcoat Exactly, especially as you gradually get to notice these more conscious behaviors are well received it starts a chain of positive reinforcement too. It ends up being a new kind of social learning, similar to the one you naturally go through growing up

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, The Renaissance Man said:

@Sugarcoat Exactly, especially as you gradually get to notice these more conscious behaviors are well received it starts a chain of positive reinforcement too. It ends up being a new kind of social learning, similar to the one you naturally go through growing up

Yes

[Breakingthewall]

10 hours ago, Someone here said:

I’ve noticed something about myself that has been affecting my social interactions and I wanted to share it to see if  anyone has gone through something similar or has advice.etc 

Depending on who I’m with..I  tend to act very differently:

When  Im with shy or quiet people (those I subconsciously perceive as having "lower social status")I feel more relaxed..witty.. physical.. and charismatic.etc

But when I’m with people I consider confident or socially skilled.. it’s like something inside me shuts down: I feel less funny..and I lose my quick thinking.I talk less.. avoid eye contact..and generally feel "socially inferior" even though I’m not sure if I’m trying too hard to please them or if it’s just my insecurity from my part .

What’s interesting is that I don’t think these people are "above" me in terms of achievements. I consider myself more attractive than average and have accomplished a lot for my age (26).

I'm 26 years old . Studying business and marketing in university. Will graduate approximately in 2 years . I live by myself . I don't have a job . My family pay my bills . That's just some basic info about myself in case someone will pose these questions. I have no problem starting a fight with a guy ..but I don't like bullies. I've been bullied like a TON in school..because I had a very weak physique. Now that I've starting  lifting and doing sports for couple of years and got in a stronger shape I can defend myself . But I just don't have strong personality. I have strong body but not strong personality . What to do ?

 

 

It's very simple, you are not strong in yourself, you compare and doubt yourself, and in the presence of people with a strong attitude you feel weak, and in the presence of people with a weak attitude you feel strong. It's normal, if you become fully aware of it, you will be able to completely free yourself from comparison, then you will prefer to have solid people around you, since you will also be solid. It is essential to reach that point in life, but it's not easy. 

[Breakingthewall]

10 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I say like Leo you have to keep exposing yourself to various social situations to expose yourself to your fears. To uncover all the ways you’re holding yourself back, being fake, all your strategies of avoidance (of eye contact for example). Learn to relax yourself while in these situations, relax the body. You could also subconsciously start to emulate a little bit of those seemingly confident people, that’s okay that is natural that it could happen in your social skills learning journey. It will take time. It took me years to completely transform myself from kinda awkward and insecure to natural and relaxed and confident. But it’s so worth it. You’ll get to a point where you don’t put those seemingly confident people on a pedestal anymore. You don’t see it as anything special because you have accessed it and built it in yourself so it’s normal to you. It’s both a building of confidence and breaking down of insecurity process. Anything that gives you confidence in other areas of life can also translate to your confidence in social situations because you’ll feel better about yourself in general. 

Good put, it's a process, but you have to be perceptive enough to see yourself, your weakness with honesty and don't do evasive attitudes that leads to narcissism. I think you explained very clear, for men it's more difficult, we are less humble and we don't admit our weakness, then we pretend being strong and fool ourselves 

[Sugarcoat]

13 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

Good put, it's a process, but you have to be perceptive enough to see yourself, your weakness with honesty and don't do evasive attitudes that leads to narcissism. I think you explained very clear, for men it's more difficult, we are less humble and we don't admit our weakness, then we pretend being strong and fool ourselves 

Self awareness is key yes and being honest with oneself and setting ego aside

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

Self awareness is key yes and being honest with oneself and setting ego aside

It's very difficult for men to see our weakness, we use to fool ourselves to avoid it, then become narcissist. Narcissism is the parallel personality that we build to bury our weakness 

[Sugarcoat]

8 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

It's very difficult for men to see our weakness, we use to fool ourselves to avoid it, then become narcissist. Narcissism is the parallel personality that we build to bury our weakness 

Yea I’ve seen such  patterns play themselves out

[NoSelfSelf]

48 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

It's very difficult for men to see our weakness, we use to fool ourselves to avoid it, then become narcissist. Narcissism is the parallel personality that we build to bury our weakness 

I dont see how one can be a man if he is not 100% honest with himself, that's like in top 3 reasons why boys stay boys.

Edited 34 minutes ago by NoSelfSelf

[Breakingthewall]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I dont see how one can be a man if he is not 100% honest with himself, that's like in top 3 reasons why boys stay boys.

Totally agree, any narcissist is a boy, independent of the age. Self honestly is essential to start any real growth 

[NoSelfSelf]

4 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Totally agree, any narcissist is a boy, independent of the age. Self honestly is essential to start any real growth 

Yeah good catch!narcissist is a grown kid,when im brutally honest here its taken the wrong way, i guess the more brutal truths you can take the less of a boy you are.