Is the golden rule the highest social teaching?

[Actualising]

Is the golden rule the highest social teaching?

Edited Thursday at 07:16 AM by Actualising
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[lostingenosmaze]

Not for suicidal masochists, that's for sure

[Actualising]

@lostingenosmaze haha 😂 

[NoSelfSelf]

Give more context

[Actualising]

@NoSelfSelf I've been doing research into attracting woman, and everytime I try and not care, or be the bad boy, I start to attract others doing the same

[NoSelfSelf]

23 minutes ago, Actualising said:

@NoSelfSelf I've been doing research into attracting woman, and everytime I try and not care, or be the bad boy, I start to attract others doing the same

Put more context about what golden rule is and the problem in the thread.

Doing the same how?

[trenton]

I have doubts about the golden rule because it is too simplistic for navigating social situations. When I do unto others as I would have them do unto me, what I discover is that out worldviews are so vastly different that leads to my intentions being misinterpreted leading to me becoming a victim once people think I'm the bad guy and I deserve to be hurt because of it. Navigating social situations requires accounting for how you will be interpreted and what the practical consequences will be. Part of this is due too everyone having a different brain structure like in My case with autism.

My current idea of relationships is that there are no consistent principles to follow. If you follow your principles, then there will always be a way to frame you as a devil, leading others to hurting you. No matter how hard you try to be good, you will be judged by how others think you should be and they will find ways to hurt you for it. This is what I learned from my family in which I am a controversial character with some people thinking I'm awesome for being wise and insightful and others thinking I'm a monster for being honest. You need to be able to operate under different fundamental assumptions and realities depending on what the situation calls for.

Therefore, rather than being morally consistent by treating others how I want to be treated, I also try to account for how others want me to treat them. This is where I get stuck. Most people don't think very deeply about philosophy. They don't even know what their values are and they expect me to just know. The rules change constantly depending on the type of people you encounter. The reason I end up being consistent rather than flexible is because the standard I'm trying to describe is impossible.

In practice, this is what I do. For example, I was in a hospital journaling while I was surrounded by about 20 other inpatients who were not doing anything important other than watching tv. I looked across the room and saw a woman who was distraught. She was looking around the room, but everyone even the nurses were ignoring her. I imagined that this woman probably felt like she was in deep pain and needed someone who cares, but nobody seemed to pay attention to her. I imagined what she might be going through. I thought it might have been another rape victim because I ran into a lot of those. I closed my journal and walked up to her. I started talking to her and said "it pains me to see you like this." The woman was grateful to see that out of all the other people, at least one person cared. In this example, I responded based on what this person needed by putting myself in their shoes and did what I could to make the situation better.

 I have many other stories like that one. To me the principles I follow translate into helping people when I have the opportunity to do so. I often show others far more love than I show myself in how I talk to myself. When others are in pain I show pure love, but I struggle to do the same for myself.

[trenton]

I have an idea.

When I show compassion to others, it is due to me seeing myself in them. This is when I am able to express pure love.

Given what this forum teaches, the highest social teaching is probably that there is no difference between self and other. The more you see yourself in others, the more capable you become of love because you are love. Rather than treating others as you want to be treated, you could start by seeing others as you. You are pure love.

[Emotionalmosquito]

14 hours ago, lostingenosmaze said:

Not for suicidal masochists, that's for sure

Isn’t it funny how this universally accepted golden rule for life is completely shattered by one witty and succinct reply? 

“Be yourself” has the exact same flaw 

[Basman]

The golden rule is more an ethical/behavioral standard. It doesn't say anything about making friends.

You can be an asshole and still make plenty of friends and breed plenty.