When do you know if keep it as Friends or Lovers?

[Juan]

12 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Let me put it like this if there is a hamburger or pizza to choose and lets say i want both,then im going to ask myself for what i want,someone who doesnt know himself is asking around about personal stuff to choose.So you dont really know yourself because the whole way you learned yourself is from outside not yourself.

Since you don’t care having women as a friend well of course you can’t empathize. Idk why many men think that way but whatever, I consider them stiff and unable to flow better in life. What I ask is a simple thing, when to keep it as friends or lovers (looking at my circumstances), of course you’ll always choose lovers, then tell me that I don’t know myself and all that talk.

[NoSelfSelf]

38 minutes ago, Juan said:

Since you don’t care having women as a friend well of course you can’t empathize. Idk why many men think that way but whatever, I consider them stiff and unable to flow better in life. What I ask is a simple thing, when to keep it as friends or lovers (looking at my circumstances), of course you’ll always choose lovers, then tell me that I don’t know myself and all that talk.

I always go way beyond the surface of whats going on, so if you know yourself great do whatever you want if you dont find my insight helpful just do whatever i dont care at the end of the day.

[Juan]

16 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I always go way beyond the surface of whats going on, so if you know yourself great do whatever you want if you dont find my insight helpful just do whatever i dont care at the end of the day.

What insight? “Bro you don’t know yourself” Wow!!! I wonder how you became a mod. 

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, Juan said:

What insight? “Bro you don’t know yourself” Wow!!! I wonder how you became a mod. 

I dont get why you so emotional i gave you an insight that flew over your head.

 

[Sugarcoat]

Since you live in pr doesn’t that mean it would eventually turn into a long distance relationship? So you gotta think if you’re down for that

[Juan]

50 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Since you live in pr doesn’t that mean it would eventually turn into a long distance relationship? So you gotta think if you’re down for that

Sure, but as I wrote I’d be in the US some time, I could be some months with this person.

[Sugarcoat]

27 minutes ago, Juan said:

Sure, but as I wrote I’d be in the US some time, I could be some months with this person.

Yea but I meant later when you eventually move back. A few months isn’t long for a relationship 

[Juan]

7 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Yea but I meant later when you eventually move back. A few months isn’t long for a relationship 

Yea true…I have to contemplate it. As for now I plan to stay in NY working with a friend, so I can be even till 2026 or more, will see, thank you tho.

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Juan said:

Yea true…I have to contemplate it. As for now I plan to stay in NY working with a friend, so I can be even till 2026 or more, will see, thank you tho.

Yea it’s something to think about. If you really like her maybe it’s worth to move there in case of relationship

[Lucasxp64]

@Juan Leo gura told me this about the silly kinds of games I used to do.

Quote

Simple solution, you just ask a girl if she's single within the first 2 mins of talking to her. Done.

DO NOT try to sneak your way into a girls pants over a course of days and weeks. Make it clear what you want.

Also, DO NOT invest energy into a girl unless she's going on dates with you. Stop trying to build a connection with a girl over text or online. It's BS. If she's not agreeing to dates then screw off. Waste of time.

If a girl is interested in you, you don't need to make any effort to butter her up. You just invite her on a date and she eagerly agrees. If she makes excuses that means she isn't attracted to you and it will never happen.

STOP CHASING WOMEN. Just invite them out and if they don't come out, drop her.

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I personally can't keep myself from seeing every attractive female friend (without a partner) as a romantic/sexual date opportunity. It's a waste of my time and of opportunity not to try to capitalize on that. Why would you not?

SPECIALLY this girl, if she is girlfriend material, I'd be flirty with her

DO A WELL CALIBRATED DESCENT GAME. You have to have a romantic connection with her already to say certain things out loud, BECAUSE IT FORCES her into a decision on the spot. Whatever decision she makes to a logical question will force her to say it and stick with it. It's better to just give the sub-communication vibes that you want her like that, if that's the game you want to play...

ALSO: What is the point of priming her up, risking not being able to excite her enough for romantic/sexual stuff, THROUGH ONLINE CHAT, which is LOW IN EFFECTIVENESS... Like, the emotions in person a much more intense.

I'd personally don't even SAY/TEXT relationshipy stuff at all. I'd let it be just like any other girl I have a blank slate with, to escalate emotionally/flirtatiously and feel how she is reacting. BUT... Leo Gura warned against this type of shit turning into that crap that tends to happen with me that it becomes this long-winded thread of interaction that's full of ambiguity and pouring more effort and time without getting to the HOOK POINT FAST (Does she want to date me romantically? Or does it feel just friends vibe? Does she find me attractive -- mind the wording, might not be just physical attraction) . Because I KNOW, for blank slate girls, when they are actually attracted to me, it happens fast, it's actually very smooth, I don't have to butter them up, I don't have to keep "wining her over" with word games. I'm warning you against it turning into that kind of drainage on your psyche of it being in this in-between lukewarm space, where you aren't quite running descent game that you would run with a Blank Slate, that shit fucks me up. This shit of turning a girl I wanted for a relationship in a friendship.

The MAJOR reason I'll "friendzone" a girl is because she lives way too fucking far for me to met her and be with her. Long distance relationships will DIG YOU DEEPER INTO THIS IN-BETWEEN LUKEWARM LIMBO SPACE.

ALSO, if she becomes your GIRLFRIEND, and you guys even kiss and have sex and so on, and they have to LIVE AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. This will turn into a long-distance romantic/sexual relationship... This can fuck you mind really bad, this is not ideal, this should be avoided. If I were in that situation again in my life, unless it's KNOWABLE TEMPORARY, you want to quit it asap so you can get the sex and affection you deserve in person.

You wanna avoid this like the plague. The issue is PSYCHOLOGICAL, the issue is ON YOUR MIND. Can your mind handle the aftermath?

It's your choice. THERE IS NO WAY we can tell you in this forum what to do next (Well, unless you give more details at least), YOU MUST READ THE VIBES YOURSELF.

------

Seriously, even boomer old people (Not looking for someone) give most of their attention to their spouses. Most young people also seem as well to gravitate towards sexual/romantic.

Don't forget that this is still GAME, just because you know her, doesn't mean the principles of seduction and escalating would be different... Like, this idea of you just coming up on your own that you guys should be partners even before have met each other (correct me if I'm wrong)... This is weird. I don't know both of you. But this is shitty game waiting for you to fuck up with a good friendship if she will give you a lot of value in other ways, and you just do it in some uncalibrated weird way.

You have to read the vibes YOURSELF, because you got much more info than what words can express from direct experience.

The issue is that this is not like a blank relationship with somebody new, the dynamics are very weird. Remember Leo Gura's video series on: "How to get laid"? He said, our approach towards finding a girlfriend should be like throwing a big fish net.

Story time: I had some girls that I genuinely like talking, or I was interested. And then, I was sloppy in my CHAT/ONLINE GAME -- because I was feeling horny that day and I said to myself: Fuck this, I'd rather not talk with them at all unless they do sexting with me, and tried to escalate sloppily with them and just got blocked.

Lesson 1: It came from a place of weakness and sloppiness. It didn't come from an intentional, properly run game. I had wasted a bunch of time building some friendship, then I hastily one day did a game that I knew was BAD GAME even at the time... Because I want to turn them into sexting buddies or actual sex potential, but it came from a place of weakness... Are you coming from a place of weakness?

Lesson 2: Don't be a horny loner without options (Catch-22: Egg or chicken came first?) or the wrong mindset of how to approach GAME/Dating, etc. This will make you see every girl out there as potential options because you're thirsty -- BUT ALSO, if you're in mindset abundance and you SEE EVERY GIRL AS OPTIONS AS A PERSONAL CHOICE AND STRATEGY, then that's correct.

If you are unclear about where different types of relationships will lead, and if there is a roadblock to that, you must be clear in your heart what to do with it. So you don't get pushed around like those dudes getting fucking friendzoned and wasting a shit ton of time and money on women that don't even want to kiss and touch sexually...

IF I AM ENJOYING A GIRL as a friend because she has a place in my life right now so I can get good vibes/company from her, then that's another matter, but I won't try to waste more energy/time than what she is worth. Again, some girls are amazing friends, and I'd enjoy them, specially right now in this stage of my life/dating as someone trying to learn proper game from years of long-distance crap.