When do you know if keep it as Friends or Lovers?

[Juan]

So I’m talking with this girl, she lives in the US and I’m in PR. I plan to visit the US somewhere in 2025 and maybe live there for a while, so I could def visit her and stay some time.

We are both artists, similar if not equal interests, we both aim to have a successful YouTube channel, you name it. But I’m not sure if we should remain as friends or be a relationship once we meet (we both have chemistry through our conversations, and we like each other already).

If we remain friends well, we can keep working together, travel to do expos, etc. Sure the same can happen while being together loving wise, but I have this feeling of I really wouldn’t like to lose her if we end up breaking up, I like her A LOT as a friend too.

How can you tell if you should go for it or remain as friends? 

Edited December 19 by Juan

[NoSelfSelf]

Well you should know yourself, i personally dont do friends with women,sure i have woman acquaintance through mutual interest.

You dont have standards to lead you. 

Like my standard is :always get what you want nothing more nothing less,so that tells me i should remove myself from situation, if other person is not up with what i want simple as that.

Now you are in situation where your "balls" are on the line ,stay as friends and your "balls" are removed i dont know how to explain it none directly.Even tho you like someone ,they should not dictate how things go down, that's why game is not for everyone.

Edited Thursday at 05:52 AM by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

I say play it by air. Don't decide either way before you guys meet up. At least see how you feel when you're with her in person. It isn't wise to be so attached to a person where you say to yourself you don't want to lose them. The fear of losing them is the thing that will make that happen. Let go and go with the flow. 

 

 

[Juan]

10 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Well you should know yourself

Yea I do know myself but this is the type of situation where “maybe we can work in many projects together so maybe I shouldn’t be fucking around” but “she is very pretty too tho!”.

8 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

I say play it by air. Don't decide either way before you guys meet up. At least see how you feel when you're with her in person.

Yea that’s the agreement for the moment, keep it as friends for now and when we meet during the next year we’ll see where we stand in that moment, cuz things is gonna keep happening during the wait.

Edited Thursday at 04:36 PM by Juan

[NoSelfSelf]

@Juan If you know yourself this thread is useless and going for what you truly want ,being decisive is not product of it(being sure of who you are).

Edited Thursday at 04:52 PM by NoSelfSelf

[Juan]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Juan If you know yourself this thread is useless and going for what you truly want ,being decisive is not product of it(being sure of who you are).

This is silly even coming from a mod, so if I have a little of a doubt about anything I can’t make a thread? 

[NoSelfSelf]

4 minutes ago, Juan said:

This is silly even coming from a mod, so if I have a little of a doubt about anything I can’t make a thread? 

Let me put it like this if there is a hamburger or pizza to choose and lets say i want both,then im going to ask myself for what i want,someone who doesnt know himself is asking around about personal stuff to choose.So you dont really know yourself because the whole way you learned yourself is from outside not yourself.

And if you know you then you are not asking about this queastion if it makes sense.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Juan If you know yourself this thread is useless and going for what you truly want ,being decisive is not product of it(being sure of who you are).

You can only know yourself in relation to something else. This why there is a world, an I, and duality. This is why you're there and I'm here. The only way you think you know yourself is because you have created a life based on what you know and one can only know something they see outside of themselves.

[NoSelfSelf]

7 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You can only know yourself in relation to something else. This why there is a world, an I, and duality. This is why you're there and I'm here. The only way you think you know yourself is because you have created a life based on what you know and one can only know something they see outside of themselves.

Then that would mean that outside world defines who i am.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Then that would mean that outside world defines who i am.

Yes it does, whether you like it or are aware of it or not. If you were born in Africa, Timbuktu, Canada or some other country than your were born; if you were borne from different parents, went to a different school, had different friends, had different lovers anything outside, you would have been a different person than you are right now. 

You only think you're making your own decisions and I'm not even talking about non-duality or that there's no one etc,I'm saying the outside world has made you become who you are today and has allowed for you to know yourself.

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes it does, whether you like it or are aware of it or not. If you were born in Africa, Timbuktu, Canada or some other country than your were born; if you were borne from different parents, went to a different school, had different friends, had different lovers anything outside, you would have been a different person than you are right now. 

You only think you're making your own decisions and I'm not even talking about non-duality or that there's no one etc,I'm saying the outside world has made you become who you are today and has allowed for you to know yourself.

What you are saying applys to all those "weird" threads where when one doesnt know himself because he let the outside world define him, its what you get red pill,black bill,women aint shit,if i was defined by outside world i would hate you right now, but i dont since im the one whos defining me through me creating me.That's exactly what seperates the one with game and one whos looking at women to tell them who they are.So you get fucked up indivividuals.

I agree that world shaped me until i recognize i was giving away my power to it not recognizing my power.That's why women love men and not boys who look at the world to define them.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

What you are saying applys to all those "weird" threads where when one doesnt know himself because he let the outside world define him, its what you get red pill,black bill,women aint shit,if i was defined by outside world i would hate you right now, but i dont since im the one whos defining me through me creating me.That's exactly what seperates the one with game and one whos looking at women to tell them who they are.So you get fucked up indivividuals.

I agree that world shaped me until i recognize i was giving away my power to it not recognizing my power.That's why women love men and not boys who look at the world to define them.

I didn't say define I said know. You define yourself from what you know and what you know is determined by the outside world. I get what you're saying, but I'm speaking on something different. You still need others to know yourself and to know what your likes and dislikes are. You didn't cone to your assessments because you were in a cave. 

Point is, telling someone to not ask questions about things and that they should know themselves and not rely on others is defeating the purpose of not getting to know yourself. This is how you get to know yourself, it's by observerving how you respond to life and others and seeing yourself in relation to others. You didn't know yourself at 10yrs old (eg), it took you years of evolution, queries, and knowledge to come to this point. OP is also in this process, which never ends, btw. At 80yrs old, you'll be responding to life and others differently than you do now and you don't know how that will be then. Life unfolds in stages, relatively speaking.

[NoSelfSelf]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I didn't say define I said know. You define yourself from what you know and what you know is determined by the outside world. I get what you're saying, but I'm speaking on something different. You still need others to know yourself and to know what your likes and dislikes are. You didn't cone to your assessments because you were in a cave. 

Point is, telling someone to not ask questions about things and that they should know themselves and not rely on others is defeating the purpose of not getting to know yourself. This is how you get to know yourself, it's by observerving how you respond to life and others and seeing yourself in relation to others. You didn't know yourself at 10yrs old (eg), it took you years of evolution, queries, and knowledge to come to this point. OP is also in this process, which never ends, btw. At 80yrs old, you'll be responding to life and others differently than you do now and you don't know how that will be then. Life unfolds in stages, relatively speaking.

Then i would be like everybody else that's why im obssesed with game so im being an original so im the creator of my knowledge.

I see what you are saying but im working differently.

Im my own world and that world is reflection of how i see things its all internal focus for me.

[NoSelfSelf]

This is what im talking about 

Padowan we all are 😁

Snapinsta.app_video_AQP30WypY0QOsSdoNdNiAeqDGTvWFQh6ThG7Tq42PHR6OSdjOTM3Np5EnMIpsZreF_AOhe_TcaonBSewnv7T_poFLByqH0pbHb2qC-E.mp4

 

(Link is a clip of star wars)

Edited Thursday at 09:15 PM by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Then i would be like everybody else

Last thing I'm saying on this. This is what I'm talking about. You need others to identify with what you identify with. Without others, you couldn't say, "then I'll be like everyone else". There wouldn't be anybody else to not be like. You contrast your sense of being and how you define yourself because you have defined everyone else, however that is. You still need others to be able to know what you're like or not like. You need to hear others' opinions and beliefs to be able to contrast that you're not like them. If OP didn't ask the question, you wouldn't even be able to recognize that you're not like him and that you don't need to ask questions because you're operating from your own authority. Something to contrast it with.

I'm just trying to let you see how you're operating from the same place OP is operating from but from the inside out, anti-clockwise and clockwise are still from the same clock. It operates both ways but can only do so one at a time. He's asking for opinions, you're saying he should know himself and not depend on others to know for him, but you're also depending on others to be able to know yourself. Either way you look at it you're still dependent on others. You can't be how you are, if you weren't dependent on others. Both of you are dependent on others. His way is just more direct while yours is more indirect.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

18 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Last thing I'm saying on this. This is what I'm talking about. You need others to identify with what you identify with. Without others, you couldn't say, "then I'll be like everyone else". There wouldn't be anybody else to not be like. You contrast your sense of being and how you define yourself because you have defined everyone else, however that is. You still need others to be able to know what you're like or not like. You need to hear others' opinions and beliefs to be able to contrast that you're not like them. If OP didn't ask the question, you wouldn't even be able to recognize that you're not like him and that you don't need to ask questions because you're operating from your own authority. Something to contrast it with.

I'm just trying to let you see how you're operating from the same place OP is operating from but from the inside out, anti-clockwise and clockwise are still from the same clock. It operates both ways but can only do so one at a time. He's asking for opinions, you're saying he should know himself and not depend on others to know for him, but you're also depending on others to be able to know yourself. Either way you look at it you're still dependent on others. You can't be how you are, if you weren't dependent on others. Both of you are dependent on others. His way is just more direct while yours is more indirect.

 

So with your logic if i lived on a planet where everyone has alien conciousness and me just basic no mind, then i would identify myself as a spiritual bum basically and my self worth will depend on how much i can shapeshift and following that standard ill be depressed about it, going blackpill because i cant morf into xenomorph ?

Edited Thursday at 10:54 PM by NoSelfSelf

[whh2222]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

So with your logic if i lived on a planet where everyone has alien conciousness and me just basic no mind, then i would identify myself as a spiritual bum basically and my self worth will depend on how much i can shapeshift and following that standard ill be depressed about it, going blackpill because i cant morf into xenomorph ?

I read none of this thread and jump straight to the last post. This post is hilarious with no context. I can't imagine having a conversation like this about this topic with some girl I know 

girl: hey so what do you see as the boundaries between friends and lovers? what makes you decide this?

me: it depends on if I were hypothetically on a planet where everyone had alien consciousness and I decided to go black pill because I couldn't shape shift. 

[NoSelfSelf]

1 minute ago, whh2222 said:

I read none of this thread and jump straight to the last post. This post is hilarious with no context. I can't imagine having a conversation like this about this topic with some girl I know 

girl: hey so what do you see as the boundaries between friends and lovers? what makes you decide this?

me: it depends on if I were hypothetically on a planet where everyone had alien consciousness and I decided to go black pill because I couldn't shape shift. 

She will say in her head: " i finally found the one",now stay calm i dont want him to see how much i want his babies, every other guy is identifying with the world dependant he is just different.

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

So with your logic if i lived on a planet where everyone has alien conciousness and me just basic no mind, then i would identify myself as a spiritual bum basically and my self worth will depend on how much i can shapeshift and following that standard ill be depressed about it, going blackpill because i cant morf into xenomorph ?

Lol. Never mind. Haha

[NoSelfSelf]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Lol. Never mind. Haha

So i see your point, now you see mine as a product of yours if not watch this video