Girlfriends

[Shane597]

I have been going to an online dating site and I have found that a lot of girls are highly unconscious. I kind of get discouraged. Should I be fake and win them over or be real and lose almost every time. For some reason when I give more than a two 4 sentence response to a question they ask they lose interest. I don't know why people think that the more words someone says the more they seem despert or something? I have always been verbose, that is just how I am. What do I do? 

[Shane597]

I want to find wemon that are not socially conditioned, where do I find them?

[SFRL]

How would you k ow they are unconsious? You don't know these girls. 

You should not try to be their penpal. Set up a date, ask her out, and get it going. 

[Shane597]

They are too far away usually. 

[SFRL]

Then your whole strategy is off. 

Or just jump in the car and drive. You got to put in some effort. 

[Shin]

Stop online dating, that's not how you'll develop real skills that will be useful to attract women.

It's not because they are inconscious they can't be good girlfriend, and even if they weren't, women will test you all the time, so it's not like you could escape their crazyness anyway.

And almost everyone is inconscious, doesn't mean there isn't a lot of couples that works really well.

[Loreena]

What applies to women applies to men as well.

Find someone in your circles. Find someone near you. That way you save time. 

[Shane597]

Well, I struggle with attraction on the first date. But if they actually give me a chance to get to know me then I can get them addicted to me. That is why I like online dating, I find out if we are compatible. I can handle the testing. I just need to get past the first date. That is really all, I just screw it up to get a date or I screw it up during the date.

Edited May 5, 2017 by Shane597

[Shane597]

  @Shin@Loreena I would further say that I attract a woman when I know them well because then I know what makes them laugh most. My social circle is not around where I live, we all spit up when we went to college, but I still keep in touch. I can still be funny on the first date, but I think it is kind of silly to base everything on the first date, I personally like to get to know them more before I say he is boring, or I want to tap that, he is so funny, not worth it, or whatever women say or think after a first date. 

Edited May 5, 2017 by Shane597

[electroBeam]

2 hours ago, Loreena said:

What applies to women applies to men as well.

Find someone in your circles. Find someone near you. That way you save time. 

Youre so boring. Finding someone outside your social circle is so much more scary and exciting.

[Loreena]

5 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

Youre so boring. Finding someone outside your social circle is so much more scary and exciting.

I am not boring. I like to keep it simple and old style. And I haven't got time to keep searching and experiment on the internet. Believe me, online dating can be a huge waste of time and very disappointing because the effort is more and the output is less. But I agree it's very exciting and entertaining. Well, if you have that much precious time on your hands especially in your youth, you can surely go for that exciting ride. 

[electroBeam]

@Loreena I meant cold approach.

17 minutes ago, Loreena said:

I like to keep it simple and old style

Simple? So exciting  reminds me of a timid rabbit  

@Shane597 speak to @STC Online dating does work, if you know how to use it. Don't ask me I get no tinder matches, but STC is a god at online dating

Edited May 5, 2017 by electroBeam

[Shane597]

I don't know. Maybe online dating will work for me. I seriously have great attraction skills once I get to know the person, I was friends with my first girl friend for 2 months, them we dated for another two months. Idk, I don't really really want to fuck. I do value deep connection a bit more. (: I just struggle with first impressions with everyone, always have, it could be because when you meet someone for the first time you see one side of their personality and there are hundreds of sides.  I think everyone should be more open minded in the dating world and realize there are so many ways to figure out who is compatible with whom. 

[Loreena]

15 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

@Loreena I meant cold approach.

Simple? So exciting  reminds me of a timid rabbit  

@Shane597 speak to @STC Online dating does work, if you know how to use it. Don't ask me I get no tinder matches, but STC is a god at online dating

Well I've heard  a lot of people expressing frustration with cold approaches. 

[electroBeam]

8 minutes ago, Loreena said:

Well I've heard  a lot of people expressing frustration with cold approaches. 

It is frustrating. Very frustrating. 

And so is self inquiry, getting good grades, trying to get funding from an angel investor for your startup(especially in my country ) and everything else worth doing.

But its a much better approach than warm approach. With warm approach you only meet 1 or 2 date worthy girls a month. Cold approach 5 or 6 a day. 

And guess what, if you have no friends due to shyness, cold approach is the only way to go. Its not an option but a necessity.

Edited May 5, 2017 by electroBeam

[Loreena]

5 hours ago, SFRL said:

How would you k ow they are unconsious? You don't know these girls. 

You should not try to be their penpal. Set up a date, ask her out, and get it going. 

Are you married ? Got any match so far ?

[lukmi]

15 minutes ago, Shane597 said:

I just struggle with first impressions with everyone, always have […].

Concerning first impressions, I was out with a few dating coaches that have a start-up YouTube channel a few weeks ago. They suggested one of my problems is the first impression also. Their cure for this was to polish up my style. You might consider this - I don't know what your style is. They basically went shopping for clothes with me. I bought myself some skin-tight clothing that is 2 sizes smaller than what I had been wearing up to then. The effect of that is really good. I see more girls looking at me in public; in the club, one girl even approached me - which never happened before and when I cold-approach a girl, she is way more likely to listen to me. All you have in the beginning is the first impression. (Probably more so for cold approach than for online dating, I don't know how that works for online dating. But for the first date that's certainly a factor as well.)

Also don't say that you struggle everywhere and always have. As if that was part of your personality. What are instances when you had positive first impressions? Pointing these moments out to you helps you to stop thinking like this. (As well as affirmations if this first impressions are really important to you.) I would suggest to think of that as being your past, which is not reality anymore, and to focus on how you would like to build your future - as a person who impresses on first sight maybe?

 

24 minutes ago, Shane597 said:

I think everyone should be more open minded in the dating world and realize there are so many ways to figure out who is compatible with whom.

Sounds like pointing fingers to other people to me. I was thinking the same for many years as I felt people as a whole don't see my inner values. It's your responsibility to correct the situation for yourself. You can't manipulate the others anyway.

[SFRL]

12 hours ago, Loreena said:

Are you married ? Got any match so far ?

Plenty. What is it to you anyways? Are you auditioning? 

[SFRL]

12 hours ago, electroBeam said:

@Loreena I meant cold approach.

Simple? So exciting  reminds me of a timid rabbit  

@Shane597 speak to @STC Online dating does work, if you know how to use it. Don't ask me I get no tinder matches, but STC is a god at online dating

STC that's me. I go under a different username now. To say that I am a online dating good just sounds funny. 

@Shane597 I recently found some RSD content on online dating. 

Google: Jeffy RSD online dating. 

You will get some hits. This guy has developed a systematic online dating approch, and although I haven't tried his system, from the way he explains it he has some of the same ideas that I have. It sounds legit. 

Another exercise that you can try is this if you don't do it already: Start setting up dates with Black, Latin, and Asian girls. To get you further out of your usual operating zone. 

The more experience you have the better those first dates will go.

Why dont you execute so well on your first dates you think? Any ideas? 

 

[Shane597]

I think it is because I have a hard time with verbal communication. I say something and I realize it is not what I want to say, but I can't fix what I say while I talk because on the fly I am present. I think it is because I kind of have an awkward vibe too. This is my guess, I am not a hundred percent sure.