The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

I don't know why some idiots feel the need to have to point out what I do for a living at times. Don't they know I can put it on a billboard and don't care. I only don't flaunt it and talk about it much for other people's sake because I know how sensitive of a topic it is and how people view the subject. Just like doctors and lawyers and teachers, they come in all different categories, so why should I be ashamed of what I do when I see it as just another job to get paid at where I don't have to lie to people in order to get paid, I don't have to have intercourse, I don't have to exchange bodily fluids, I don't have to go walking the streets and approach anyone, I don't have to get frustrated because I'm not getting laid and I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not in the business. Flip the script and guys do those things (read them again verbatim) just to stick their dicks in some strange pussy to get relief during pick the fuck up. No one tries to dehumanize guys trying to do pick-up which is the same thing as prostitution but in reverse and without getting paid because their dicks ain't worth for shit. No one cares. So leave women alone and stop trying to bring them down because they're more valuable in that way and you give your shit away for free and to as many as you can give it away to and be proud of as if you can't give it away enough. We're only looked down upon because the shit is so valuable that it's a fucking disgrace to be selling something so priceless and should be reserved for no one except yourself and the one who will make sure you're provided for and protected for the rest of your life . Thats why we're called whores and sluts and shamed... Only reason, keep your valuable shit under lock and key and stop giving it away to these worthless piece of shits who don't care about you and who are just looking to whack it off on your behalf.

Just ranting....the energy needs relief from systematic fools and the constant trying to put women in a box that men are so free to roam in. That doesn't even make sense. I even recognize when I don't make sense. This part of me haven't been released in a while. It's always the porn addicts and the pussy chasing ones who has a problem with it, too. I've noticed. I notice the personalities and styles of the ones who talk badly about women and the ones in the business. I notice it's the ones always chasing sex and doing pick-up. Unsuccessfully. Another commonality is, their view on most things in life sucks and is mostly negative, harsh and hateful. 

Edited April 4 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

This is why I get upset with men who talk down working girls. They will literally do worse things than what a female does as an honest job just to get laid. It's hypocritical. They'll create society's on the matter and plot and scheme their way into a woman's pants just to get laid, but will look down on a female doing the exact same thing but doing it so she can eat and support her kids and herself. Not all men, but some. I understand why it's the case, but I still don't like that it happens. Tough shit. Best I can do is let it work in my favor. 

[Princess Arabia]

When you see how humans use their minds in such a limited way, you get to understand how we fall into certain traps (seemingly anyway) and be fools for life. A person can say they're a Doctor and get massive respect while raping, molesting and abusing their patients in some way or fashion. Just by saying you're a Doctor. Say you're a prostitute gets you in the gas chamber. A prostitute by definition gets paid for sex. OK. No questions on where she works, how she conducts herself, who are her clients, etc. All the molesting, rapist abuser has to say is, he's a Doctor and also be a legitimate one and he's admired and all the loving, hard working, mother of 3 looking to eat has to say is she's a prostitute and she's condemned and stoned. Something is wrong with that picture. Just saying. 

[Princess Arabia]

I'm probably one of the few people here who don't do drugs. I've puffed on weed a few times in socialized circles but that was few and far in-between. Never tried coke, ketamine, psychedelics (I'm aware they're not considered a drug), percs, oxy, and all the other drugs people take. I don't even take Aspirin, Midol, Advil, Tylenol, Motrin (took in my 20's for period pain, no more) or any other pain meds. 

This is not a pat-on-the-back message for me to feel good or bad about - just an observation. Sometimes I wish I would be up to doing some of these things just for the experience; but I don't and don't really have the desire to. I'm also aware that in some ceremonies where ayahuasca is done can be very beneficial for certain conditions. If anything, that's where I would go to experiment if I ever felt the urge to. 

I drink though, and that in itself can be very destructive if done in excess. I worked in bars, so it's kind of difficult to stay away. Plus be the only one there not drinking. I started drinking going to night clubs and partying, though, so it didn't start from working in bars.

[Princess Arabia]

Notice how people make an issue out of everything. Always can find something to debate and talk about. Racism, gender, sex, politics religion, gender roles, relationships, dating, I mean everything. All different opinions and worldviews. Then we express those views thinking they are truths and expect people to sometimes change theirs by listening to ours. It's just a constant debate.

Why not. Infinity ain't got nothing else to do with itself and it's been here forever and will be forever. Might as well debate and argue about things. Everybody agreeing gets boring. Need a little spice in life. Imagine if we knew exactly who we were, exactly everything that is the case without a shed of doubt and knew that we could never be hurt, in lack, anxious and depressed, wanting anything, could do or be anything we wanted and nothing could kill us etcetcetc, imagine what that would be like. Imagine being happy, joyful and blissfull all the time forever. That would surely become depressing. This is some serious shit happening here. Even if nothing is really happening. That in itself is some serious prank joke by Cosmosos. People suffering, seeming depressed and anxious for nothing. Life is crazy. (This) is crazy.

Edited Tuesday at 06:52 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

We're not trying to stop the body's organs from functioning, but we're trying to stop the mind from thinking. That's what it does - think. 

[Princess Arabia]

Society is about fucking shit up so we can make a living fixing shit back. That's it. 

[Princess Arabia]

Some people will say well she doesn't do drugs so she can't know about reality and God. Damn right and neither can you. Drugs can't make you know reality any more than without them, it only gives you a different view, a different perception. Where is this Reality at that you're knowing. Point to it. Point to Reality, please. Trees, clouds, roads, stars. the sun, mountains, birds? What about dog shit, a soda can, a truck, a waving flag, a building? Is that reality. If not, why not. If so what more are you knowing about those things? Gravity, the quantum field, consciousness, awareness, existence? Is that reality.

What is Reality. Is the video that you watched about what is reality, also reality? So reality made a video about itself for itself to watch about itself. Where s reality. Can't be located. How are you defining something that can't be located. It's you, its me. Its everything. If reality is everything then everything is everything and that state, whichever one I'm in, is everything so what difference does it make what state I'm in, since it's everything. I'm talking nonsense? I don't know what I'm saying? I thought I was everything. What's the difference. I thought there was no separation and it's a hologram and every piece is within every piece and there's no time and no space and blah blah. That also means I can never be wrong or right about anything, right. You see, think about what you're saying, believing, and spewing. Well, in the Absolute sense thatls correct, but in the relative domain it's another picture, you say. Says who. Who's saying that. The Absolute or the relative domain. The relative? So what you just said only applies to you if you think you're something relative to something else, right. I could go on and on with this shit. No drug can get you to a place of knowing.

[Princess Arabia]

Something weird is happening here. Just the fact that most people aren't talking about how weird this shit is, makes it even more weird. 

A bunch of people walking around supposedly carrying all this stuff around and no one sees that as strange. A brain, kidneys, a heart, a liver, esophagus, appendix, gallbladder, eyes, hands, fingers, toes, feet, hair breasts, teeth, a mouth, elbows, knuckles, knees, pores, ankles, eyelashes, fingernails, private parts, bones, etcetcetc, not to mention the systems including the skeletal, endocrine, muscular, digestive nervous, cardiovascular, reproductive, respiratory and lymphatic. 

Not to mention the other abstract things like thoughts and feelings and our ideas and things like that. We're carrying around a heavy load. Jesus, this is weird. Actually, we're not carrying around shit. All that stuff is what makes up the human. There's no one carrying around anything. It's all a part of the one human. 

Something strange and weird is happening here. How is this possible. How is anything possible. 

[Princess Arabia]

Survival is very tricky. One will still do things out of survival even if they want to die. Even if they're suicidal, survival still plays a big role because they're still trying to survive as a suicidal. 

[Princess Arabia]

Why is it "poor white trash". Why not just poor, white or trash. Why not poor black trash. Already trash, huh. Two negatives in a sentence. So silly. Jamaicans aren't that hung up on race and racism stuff, though. Mainly because there are White, Chinese, Indian and I believe Jewish Jamaicans. "Out of Many One People" is our motto. I went to school with white and Chinese and Indian kids. Black Americans take that shit seriously, though, and will get caught up in all that race stuff. I might say something here and there about it but since it's spawn from utter ignorance, why bother get hung up and anal about the shit. Black people can also be racist from the meaning of the word and sometimes even more so. I'll leave that alone and keep it short.

[Princess Arabia]

If I learnt nothing else from life, I've learnt this: Don't focus so much on life's contents but on the will. Keep the focus on the end result of what you want to happen. If you want such and such, don't focus on the how, don't get caught up in the circumstances, the experiences keep the focus on what you would like for the end result to be. 

The contexts, circumstances and experiences won't always be what you want them to be; won't always FEEL good. Take yourself out the picture. Stay present. No matter what's happening, don't take it personal. It's not about you. Things will hurt, things will be frustrating, emotions will arise.....stay focused on the end result. IT WILL HAPPEN. Time and time again i've seen this to be the case. It'll only work when the brain has images to work with. When it has happened before. When you're comfortable with and are vibrating on the same frequency. When it's not up on a pedestal. When it's as sure as the sun coming up. When you're carrying on with your day as if it already has happened.

 Examples. Spending your last dollar as if it's not your last dollar. Expecting someone to be there for you without wondering if they will be. Seeing that illness as the norm but just needs treatment. Knowing that emergency is taken care of before the emergency arises. Knowing that the misfortune will take care of itself. Notice that that thing you've been worrying about came to pass with another worry right after that.

Notice it's WORRY that's the common denominator not the thing being worried about. The contents change but worry is always there. Worry follows you but the contents change and even if they reoccur, the contents are slightly different but it always balances out and changes to another worry about another content. WORRY IS THE COMMON FACTOR. The worry is the problem. By essence worry is doing it's job. Worry is complete all by itself. Without worry, there's nothing to worry about. Worry is it's own being. 

Like I said, keep the focus on the end result, it might bring you heartache and worry but only if the person is there. The egoic mind. The force. The Source. None of these emotions and feelings have a place to live without it's SOURCE. They lie dormant until the person shines a light on them. They are potential. Waiting for a Source. They're not really waiting, but feelings need a Source and it's the circumstance that allows the feeling to be felt. Feel it but recognize it as just a feeling. Don't harp on it. Let it be there but stay calm and allow it to pass through. Previous occurrences of success will emerge and override the doubt that's why it's important to tap into those images and not the ones of failure. Focus on when it worked out, nit when it didn't. It has always worked out its just you see it as failures because of the limited mind. When the ego wanted to happen but didn't. What happened, was what was supposed to happen in order for the next thing to happen. It's all constructed. All responses. It responds to and aligns with the will. Keep the will alive and the contents dead. They mean nothing, Contents mean nothing. Only for the egoic mind that wants things in a particular way. The will is what's alive. The contents are the illusions. You want her, you lost her, you want a feeling, you'll feel it with something else. She wasn't real. She is you. She was never there. You've always been. She's not the main character, you are. You're all there is and your will is energy. Form is a manifestation of will.

This was spontaneous writing and was automatic writing. Not from ego, but from life.

 

[Princess Arabia]

What people don't understand is that we're all going through the same underlying problem: LACK OF LOVE.

An identity crises. Needing thing to be a certain way. Needing to know the unknown. Fear is what drives us. Complacency is what's crippling us. Fear and complacency both drives and cripples us simultaneously. We have both feet on the gas pedal. One foot in, one foot out. Not enough inner relaxation paired with enthusiasm. Relaxed enough to trust, but enthusiastic enough to have the zest for life. 

We were all dropped off by the "space-ship" on an island to fend for ourselves and we're all trying to figure this shit out. It's scary. We're unsure. We look to others for safety. We think we have it all figured out in the midst of uncertainty. We're unsure and uncertain but we think we know it all. We fight amongst ourselves. We disagree with others' way of looking at the world not realizing it's part of the make up. Part of the whole. Without contrast there's nothing to see. Nothing to experience. We want life to be on our terms.

Then we suffer for it. We see the world as a threat. We see others as the enemy. We can't accept people for who they are and work from there. We need them to fit into our own constructs. Then we develop hatred for ourselves and others. I hate you because I hate myself. You hate me because all I see in you is hate. I can't see the love pouring from you, I can't see the little baby crying out. I can't see the fear and feelings of unworthiness in you. All I see is your hate. 

I feel unloved by others because they're not catering to my needs. My selfishness is what's in the way of me expressing love in it's purest form. It's limited because I feel limited. I'm only a petty little human in this world trying to survive and I have biases and judgements and I see other and I'm separated from life. It's all a mistake. Mistaken identity that creates problems for the individual. The individual that feels empty inside and needs to fill the void with other empty things. It's a never-ending cycle.

[Princess Arabia]

We're trying to save the world. We see the world as something that needs saving because we see ourselves as needing to be saved. Notice when we're happy, the world seems just, everything is great in the moment; then sadness arises, and the world is unjust again. Same world, different feeling. We live by our feelings. We become stoic and develop inner resilience to cope with life's uncertainties and what's uncontrollable. Then we lose the ability to connect with life and be compassionate and caring. We see life as something to defend and guard against. We are the gate-keepers of our world and we try to keep the enemies at bay; both sentient and not. Doesn't matter. Living or not. Anything that doesn't align with my world view and survival strategy is the enemy. We're constantly on guard. Always on the look out for harm. It's exhausting. It's energetically unbearable. We turn to drugs and substances to cope. It's so fucking unbearable being and identifying as a separate human being.

We think we're happy when we feel happy but it's just a temporary relief from the unbearable. Like an orgasm for the mind. When the unbearable becomes extremely unbearable then we feel sad or depressed. When the unbearable becomes "I wonder when I'll get relief again" it becomes anxious. When the unbearable becomes noticeably unwanted and it realizes itself it becomes hateful. When it doesn't know how to transform itself it becomes envious. When it sees itself in others it becomes malicious. It reflects upon itself. 

Now, it wants to save the world in an attempt to save itself. When the world acts right, then I'll act right. It's them that's the problem. When I go to sleep and the world doesn't exist for me, then I'm cool. When I arise to face myself in the mirror, now the world is a problem again. How come the world isn't a problem when I'm asleep. I'm in lala land and I can travel and experience other worlds; but when I awake it's the world I awaken to that's the problem. What I see in the waking state is the problem but not when I'm asleep.

Then we want to awaken and be more aware of the stinkin' problems we face. We want to magnify the problems and be more awake to them. Or we want to lose the self so the problems go away. THERE'S ONLY ONE DENOMINATOR HERE. Figure that out.

 

[Princess Arabia]

We do not choose to respond. Response happens. I know this sounds non-dual and woo woo and oh my God, not again, but it is the case. When you read that first sentence, were you blank. Did you not have an opinion about it. You happen to hit on this journal and read this post. Are you choosing how to respond to these writings or is it just happening. Reflect on that and be honest about it. 

If we're being mindful to not respond a certain way to what's happening in life, that's also not by our choosing. Try and respond a certain way to something and then choose another response right away to the same thing. Can you erase the first response from happening in the first place and can the second response automatically turn into the first response. No. If both were your choices, then you'd be able to undo the first response and turn the second response into a first. Both were spontaneous, both happened on their own, neither can be erased only follow. You can choose a pair of shoes and decide to return it for another, but you cannot undo the choosing of the first shoe. If you were doing the choosing, then you could undo the choosing. Everything is just in succession; one thing happening after the other, after the other, after the other, and we think we're doing it and choosing to do it. Erasing something doesn't mean that thing never existed, it just means something else happened, something else appeared. The first thing appeared, the eraser appeared, the erasing appeared and the new thing appeared. They all appeared in succession - one after the other. All those moves appeared independently from each other and without a chooser. A chooser would be able to "unchoose".

Edited 6 hours ago by Princess Arabia