The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

People ask, why do millionaires and billionaires still do things, still try to make more....questions like these. They fail to realize that they're just like everyone else. A seeker. A seeker, in this sense, never finds what they're looking for, it's always temporary. Now, they have to hold unto it. It's never satisfied. THAT'S WHAT SEEKING IS. If you're a seeker, which is just about every individual, how can that energy, which is the seeking energy, ever stops seeking. That's it's nature. The millionaire or billionaire isn't seeking money and more money, it's seeking something else. Something it will never find.

The end of seeking is the end of the seeker. What the individual seeks is wholeness. What's already the case. How can it find it. It's already what it seeks. The seeker is wholeness appearing as a seeker. You see, we tend to ignore these understandings and then we keep questioning things. Keep querying these things. We take these suggestions as woo woo stuff and call it the Absolute state and that we live in the relative and have things to do. Yes, that's true, but when we truly see that this is the case, most of our questions fall away. Our confusions about the world and why it's like that starts to come together.

We're all seeking something. Even enlightenment. We seek enlightenment for whatever reason. Maybe so we stop suffering or we become more conscious or we drop the self or whatever the case. How can something that's not really happening stop. It can't. It's not possible. We take more drugs and we do more practices, but only for temporary fixes. We're slaves to these things. Slaves to what we seek. What we seek is already here.

I can't see it. I don't feel fulfilled. I'm not constantly happy and peaceful and ladi dah. No, it will never happen because i'm an individual. I see other and I see a world that I live in and have to constantly be defending myself against. I do, though, recognize the dynamics. It's obvious. There's no way around it if you're a seeker. Recognize this and the seeking becomes less painful. Less suffering. Less constricted and less contracted. It recognizes itself as a seeker and understands how seeking works. That's getting to know thyself. Not trying to be what you're not. I'm a seeker and this is what seeking does. Ok, now what. Do I try to not become a seeker, no. The seeker cannot kill itself. Death has to happen and fall away on it's own. The seeker won't even know it happened, it will just realize it never was. That it was actually in a dream. 

When you wake up from your nightly dreams you realize you were never actually at that beach - something like that. Do we go to bed and say what we are going to dream about. No, the dream just happens, and the dream just ends. The dreamer emerges and dreams and the dream stops and there's no more dreamer. We don't say we're going to end the dream now and wake up. Waking up happens on its own to reveal that the contents of the dream never really happened but only as a dream. Same thing with the seeker. When the seeking ends the seeker realizes it never was actually seeking but only as a dream. Seeking isn't really happening. It's an illusion. So there's no one to actually tell to stop seeking. No one to actually stop seeking because the seeker is illusory. Thatls also a form of seeking. That's the hidden freedom and liberation that we all seek, but not for the individual seeker. It can't recognize this. How can it when it is what it seeks. It's like the eyes searching for itself. 

This sounds like some Spiritual mumbo jumbo that you've all heard before and say, well, that's all good but we live in the relative. I do too and it makes me sad to realize that there's no end. There's nothing to do to end it, so this message is not going to help. What it might do, though, is bring relief to the seeker and it may recognize what this message reveals and loosen up the contraction a bit to make it more loose. Let go of the need for changing it's existence and to realize what it is and to accept it for what it is. Even that is illusory because that's the seeker accepting what never was. It's fucking horrendous, but beautiful at the same time because what's not obvious is what's beyond the seeking and it's already whole and complete and even the seeker is already whole even though it cannot be seen or felt. That's the beautiful part. Fuck, who cares. I want it now. Tough shit. 

Edited March 16 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

The quest to "fix" ourselves is what's seemingly breaking us more apart. Our wounds heal on their own. The body is a tremendous tool. Give it the right conditions and it will do all the work. We want to give it the conditions and do the work too. All we are, are doers. Do, do, do. Fix, fix, fix. We don't know how we got into the problem, but we certainly do know how to get out. We must know, know, know. We know everything but how we got here. We don't know how we got here, who we are but we know how to fix ourselves. If you say you are God, then God don't need fixing, now does it. If you say, well, I have an ego and it's what needs fixing. How did the ego get here. First figure that out. Would you try to fix a car without knowing anything about cars. Why try to fix the ego without knowing anything about it. If you knew anything about it, you'd realize it's a construction of who you think you are and that you'll have to deconstruct it and start all over to construct a new one. Not fix. That's just a band-aid. There's nothing to fix but to deconstruct and to construct. Or you could just leave it the hell alone. 

[Schizophonia]

  On 3/16/2025 at 8:27 PM, Princess Arabia said:

The quest to "fix" ourselves is what's seemingly breaking us more apart. Our wounds heal on their own. The body is a tremendous tool. Give it the right conditions and it will do all the work. We want to give it the conditions and do the work too. All we are, are doers. Do, do, do. Fix, fix, fix. We don't know how we got into the problem, but we certainly do know how to get out. We must know, know, know. We know everything but how we got here. We don't know how we got here, who we are but we know how to fix ourselves. If you say you are God, then God don't need fixing, now does it. If you say, well, I have an ego and it's what needs fixing. How did the ego get here. First figure that out. Would you try to fix a car without knowing anything about cars. Why try to fix the ego without knowing anything about it. If you knew anything about it, you'd realize it's a construction of who you think you are and that you'll have to deconstruct it and start all over to construct a new one. Not fix. That's just a band-aid. There's nothing to fix but to deconstruct and to construct. Or you could just leave it the hell alone. 

Joe Dispenza approves.

[Princess Arabia]

  On 3/16/2025 at 8:29 PM, Schizophonia said:

Joe Dispenza approves.

Hehe 

[Princess Arabia]

Saying you have control is like saying you have two apples when you only have one. Control is control. Control is doing control. Control needs no doer for it to be control. I have control over this thing. Well, what is control doing or being, passive.  Sitting there and waiting for someone or something to control it. We know what control means so I don't have to spell it out. What I do have to spell out, just for the sake of this post, is that control doesn't need you for it to be what it is. It doesn't need you to take control of it. It does it's thing on it's own. It doesn't need ownership to actualize itself. Control is control and it does it's thing.

Edited March 16 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

It's so beautiful and mesmerizing to see the Absolute working in all those Avatars. They are all claiming to know which is how it hides itself. Something knows, but it ain't those Avatars. That knowing is knowing itself. An Avatar or character wouldn't describe itself as knowing. Knowing knows, but no one knows. 

[Princess Arabia]

There is no actual cause and effect, only appears that way. If you pay close attention to what's appearing (sometimes), you can see evidence of that. All spontaneous ordered chaos. I know, that's a mouthful. The raw inconsistencies of the appearance. This is why we have developed this thing called sense making. To make sense of it. Do you think when someone says something that makes no sense, it's them deliberately doing that. No. They're not stupid either. That's our way of making sense of what doesn't - calling people stupid. They have to be in our minds because they're not making sense. Well, when everything is everything how can anything make sense to us. Cause and effect is also us making sense of what's appearing. How can there be cause and effect when time and space doesn't really exist, it's all whole and there's no actual separation. 

[Princess Arabia]

Hope never comes.

[Princess Arabia]

If you didn't know yourself you wouldn't exist. Knowing you exist is what's hiding the fact that you don't. The person/individual/sense of self, that is. Each individual is the knowing energy. Nothing appearing as knowing. Knowing is nothing and it makes no sense to the individual so it builds a story about nothing. It's endless because it's nothing. How can nothing end.

Edited March 19 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

So many different ideas about what Reality is. I don't really think two people in the entirety of existence even have the exact same definition. I mean exact. It's like a fingerprint. No two are alike. I think that's something to explore. There are similarities and some agree on some things but no two are EXACTLY in agreement. This forum alone shows you that. Interesting.

[Princess Arabia]

So many different perspectives. So many different ideas and concepts. Which one is right. Maybe all or maybe none. This can be simple or this can be complicated. The mind doesn't like simplicity, it loves to complicate things. Something as Reality and existence to it is massive and needs to sound complicated or it doesn't resonate. It's likes profundities, it needs to think about Reality complexly. It loves to see nuances and will disregard anything that sounds too "abc-ish" or "123-ish". It needs to sound like "qycv13#@$". 

Notice how reality favors the intelligent sounding, the articulates, the ones who can speak and sound smart in their wordings and queries. The intellectuals. The college students and the brains of the group. The ones who've accomplished things academically. Reality gave those the advantage to get to know it and to be able to explain it wonderfully; so wonderful their explanations could achieve a noble prize. The ordinary man on the street, the homeless, the school drop-out or the one that can barely form a sentence doesn't stand a chance. They can still eat, talk, walk, see, and do normal activities no problem as long as they're fairly healthy, but when it comes to knowing about reality, defining it, explaining it etc, they don't stand a chance. Some people will know how to spell oxycontin and fail at differentiating the words "there" from "their". Will know what dopamine is and cannot recognize an aloe plant and it's benefits. Will break down the word Percocet into syllables but cannot tell when to use the words "every time" and "everytime" in a sentence. 

The intellectuals can, book-smart people can, most well-read people can, most University students can, people with English degrees can and professors. Most. They can explain away just about most things they're familiar with and have studied in impressive ways. Ways that show their intelligence and studious sides. Why can't they do so with explanations of the Universe/Reality/Existence if they've studied it extensively. Studied something that is fluid and without structure or boundaries. Something that the mind cannot grasp because the mind operates in a linear fashion and reality is timeless. Notice how most people that seem to know a lot about reality and the universe and all those things, notice how well they speak, how well they can articulate a sentence, how smart they seem overall and how well versed they appear. Reality doesn't favor the dumb or stupid or the average person who just knows about mundane things and how to survive and who just goes about life in the ordinary way. It loves people who can articulate it's nature. It gave those the upper hand. It doesn't want to be represented by dumbasses and people who can't speak or write properly. Notice that.

A reality that is supposedly neutral and doesn't take sides sure is prejudiced towards the smart and intelligent and the articulate and seeming intellectuals and gave them the information about itself to spread the word. Sorry simpletons, you're too stupid to represent. I need smart people to get to know and understand me. Go chase sex and money and fame while I pick my chosen ones. Meanwhile babies and animals are probably the best teachers; but no, they're stupid and underdeveloped. We need smart people to show us the way and people sitting on a throne with a smelly beard. Hehe, just a little humor there. Is it there or their. 

 

Edited March 20 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Let me get off the reality talk for a minute and talk about sex/relationships/dating. I just saw a comment on the forum saying how women aren't that interested in sex like men are and they gave what they thought was the reason. I don't know why that's the case, but most will agree with that assessment. Both men and women, and I can only give my pov on the matter.

I think it's because most men don't take the time and energy to understand a woman's body, particularly the ones they're with at the time or just overall. I see time and time again how most (and these are generalizations and not all) men seem to think women want what they want. Think we see them the way they see us and are attracted the same way they are. They find it hard to see beyond that. So, sexually, they tend to treat us how they like to be treated or do things to us how they like it done to them. Women are different and very complex sexual beings so not all size fits all. Most men just need to be visually stimulated while women need more than just visuals. If most men knew what they were doing sexually, a lot more women would be into sex more. Why do you think the vibrator was invented and got so popular. I doubt a lot of women, except for mostly porn videos and a few in regular life are out sticking dildos up their pussies and getting really excited from that alone especially while having husbands and bfs around. You'll find them using vibrators, though, whether they have a mate or not because it's very rare a penis can do what that does. Some men will even provide a vibrator for the woman during their sex act and there are toys that allow for men to wear them during sex for extra stimulation for the woman. The clit is very sensitive and it's what gets the woman aroused most of the time. Just poking us, especially if we're not turned on, just doesn't do it while for the man, it's all he needs or what gets him excited, especially the younger ones who haven't gotten enough poking out their system. 

Another thing, a lot of older men can do without intercourse or don't crave it as much. They crave intimacy,  the touch and feel of a woman and maybe oral more or cunnilingus but intercourse isn't necessarily at the top of the list. Older women will probably crave intercourse more the older they get because their clits got overly stimulated and they need to go deeper to feel. Not sure about this as much as I'm aware of the former. I've been in the escort business long enough to feel comfortable in my assessment that older men don't crave intercourse as much as what I've mentioned. A guy can pay lots of money to an escort without having intercourse and still be satisfied. Infact, most high-payers aren't necessarily looking for that. I won't get too deep into that, but I can say that most men of means and status don't care to poke, poke, poke. They enjoy other things with women because poke, poke, poking got boring and they've developed fetishes and or other ways of sexual gratification. Most young men will want that who are not over that yet. This is why cougars exist and older women like sex more because their partners probably aren't satisfying them in that way anymore. 

Anyway, I think if most men could rock a woman's world as much as how sex is good for them (or they wouldn't be chasing it as much), you'll find more women into it. Women are probably more sexual than men in certain ways and can be beasts, but you won't find as much willing to go out and just fuck anyone because they like to feel first and that takes a bit more than just visuals. A lot of drunk sex happens with women from clubs or parties because, it's the alcohol they feel. Their inhibitions go away and they loosen up. They don't need the guy to do the work in that way, the alcohol does it all. They're not thinking as much if the guy will be good in bed or satisfy them or think she's a slut. They are more open now and are more receptive to whatever even though the guy was still selected and chosen. Depending on how drunk she is, she'll still have reservations on who she goes with and will not go with any and any guy; but her reasons will mostly just be physical and not emotional as when she was totally sober....maybe. With every generation things change so who knows with this generation. I see people saying they've reached middle age in their late thirties and say they're going through a mid-life crises when before that wouldn't be until age 50+. So who knows.

Edited March 20 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

How can anybody get bored in this dramatic masterpiece called life. I know how. Bored of the dramatic masterpiece. It becomes the same ole, same ole masterpiece. Brilliant how the mind creates itself over and over again to make everything seem different and appear to be different. Imagine eating an orange everyday to infinity. Only an orange. Or watching the same one movie for eternity over and over. Imagine if we lived forever in this body/form. Imagine if suicide could never be accomplished and we had no choice but to be here in the same form forever. If you think you're depressed now, imagine that. Everyone would go insane. Life is just creating itself over and over and over again but with different content. That's where the mind comes in. Without that there wouldn't be any activity or movement. The mind is all that. The mind didn't create all that, the mind is activity and movement itself. It loves drama and creates it when it's bored. Bored with the same dance. 

[Princess Arabia]

Notice it's easier to enter into things than it is to exit or to get out of them. Easy to get married but harder to get divorced. Easy to enter life but harder to exit (intentionally). Easy to get into jail but harder to get out. Easy to sign a lease but harder to get out of it. The list goes on. Even here, easy to sign up but harder to get removed. One gas to ask to be removed. It's even easier to fall in love than to fall out of love. 

Still thinking of something that's hard to get into but easy to get out of. Men might say a vagina but that's another story. Hehe.

[Schizophonia]

  On 3/20/2025 at 9:21 PM, Princess Arabia said:

Notice it's easier to enter into things than it is to exit or to get out of them. Easy to get married but harder to get divorced. Easy to enter life but harder to exit (intentionally). Easy to get into jail but harder to get out. Easy to sign a lease but harder to get out of it. The list goes on. Even here, easy to sign up but harder to get removed. One gas to ask to be removed. It's even easier to fall in love than to fall out of love. 

If you watch Joe Dispenza's videos, him again, I saw him talking about a novel about a person who keeps his memories in each incarnation and becomes spiritually brilliant.
One of his challenges is to meditate in front of a statue and succeed in making it come alive, but when he succeeds, it becomes annoying and he has to make a lot of effort to transform it back into an inert statue.

  6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Still thinking of something that's hard to get into but easy to get out of. Men might say a vagina but that's another story. Hehe.

lol

[Princess Arabia]

  On 3/20/2025 at 9:29 PM, Schizophonia said:

If you watch Joe Dispenza's videos, him again, I saw him talking about a novel about a person who keeps his memories in each incarnation and becomes spiritually brilliant.
One of his challenges is to meditate in front of a statue and succeed in making it come alive, but when he succeeds, it becomes annoying and he has to make a lot of effort to transform it back into an inert statue.

lol

Don't mind me. I haven't watched Joe in a while but I love him. Yea, Easy to get into trouble but hard to get out of. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it and can't "unget" it. 

[Schizophonia]

  On 3/20/2025 at 10:08 PM, Princess Arabia said:

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it and can't "unget" it. 

You are right.

That's the advantage of our time: Everything is faster, so we have less time to delve into the manifestation of a stupid maya; today, Nazism would seem absurd.

But the downside is that it's a rather psychologically uncomfortable world, and on a planetary scale, in a fractal model, that translates into events like global warming, AI confusion and so on.

Yes, I'm glued to the ceiling, lol, nevermind.

 

I want a slower, more comfortable world, even if it means being more "stuck".

Edited March 21 by Schizophonia

[Princess Arabia]

So many things in life keeps us on alert. No wonder why we need sleep, vacations, to unwind and relax. We have to watch the foods we eat, the things we say, the people we surround ourselves with, the type of media we consume, the way we dress, the thoughts we engage in, what we believe, how we stand, how we sit, how we speak, who we date, how we communicate. I mean we're constantly on the defense. Defending ourselves. Being careful of this and being careful of that. Worrying about the future. Dealing with traumas. People are convicted first then tried later. We try to protect everything. Our attempts to feel safe depends on others. 

We're just worn out and at the end of the day, we're tired. Just need to relax and watch a movie and soak our feet. Then we have to worry about what we use to soak our feet and to make sure the movie isn't an offensive one that pisses us off because we take things so personally. Men worry about being rejected and women about being used. Parents worry about their kids. We're concerned about making right choices and to not make mistakes. 

We're concerned about the weather and natural disasters. Have to worry about being scammed. I mean the list goes on and on. On alert, concerned with this and that, protecting this and that, saving ourselves from this and that. 

No wonder most people aren't happy. Most are depressed and anxious. Most suffer. Then we have sleep issues. Needing to sleep but can't. We take a pill for that or have to figure it out somehow. Then we're tired from not sleeping in addition to all the stress we encounter in the day. 

No wonder we move towards happiness more and try to avoid pain. Life is painful enough without even trying but happiness has to be saught after. Default mode is pain. Doesn't take long to show up, while happiness seems scarce. All of these things occurring and people still feel empty inside. Filled with nothing. Feeling numb to life. Tired. Stressed out. We invent comedy clubs. We don't need clubs on how to feel sad, that's free from life. We pay to have a laugh. We're so numb that we'd pay to be scared shitless as in the horror house. Beats feeling sad and miserable. Scare me please but don't cross the sadness zone. How to feel sad, depressed and anxious is a free show. Doesn't cost anything. No need to look far. It'll definitely show up soon. Happiness, however, seems to be over there somewhere, always. When it does show up, the visit is short. 

Then no one asked to come here but we have to deal with things. Do, do, do, do, do. Mend, mend, mend, mend, mend. Fix, fix, fix, fix, fix. Figure it all out. Find a purpose.

I could also go the other way and list all the joys of life but that's for another post. The tone for this one is this because that's how I'm feeling at the moment. It's not a rant, just thoughts about the challenges of life and what it's like to be an individual at times.

[Princess Arabia]

Why should I have to need someone to tell me who I am. Why should I have to inquire about my true nature. Why the fuck does it take a stranger to tell me where I came from. Why do I have to struggle and suffer in a world where I didn't ask to come. Why do I have to deal with the consequences of someone else's actions. Why do I have to do self-improvement to supposedly fix myself. Why do I need a purpose. Why do I have to figure life out. Why do I have to know myself. Why do I have to feel what I don't want to feel. Why do I have to learn anything.  Why is ignorance a cost to pay. Why isn't everything free. Why is an old man with a beard sitting on a throne talking shit wiser than me. Why do so many hate people but social media is so fruitful. 

Why do I have to meditate to find peace. Why do I need to love myself. Why do I need someone else to teach me about reality. Why do I need to know anything. Why am I stuck in this body. Why do I have to be told I'm not the body. Why do I need anything. Why, why why. 

Maybe the answers to these why's lies in the fact that there is no I. 

[Princess Arabia]

The only thing I've found to bring about peace within is to not engage with thoughts. Nothing else. I still do engage; but whenever I catch myself and stop or change them, I find it works. I don't need to look outside of me for a peaceful time, it's all there already within. I'm doing an experiment on myself, not the world. I try to not bully myself and speak badly about myself. I try to see others in a compassionate way. I try not to only be positive, and I let the negative take it's course. I try to think twice about saying certain things to people and I try to see life from new perspectives whenever I start to feel down. I try to not blame myself or others and I try to see that things I worried about years ago, dissolved on their own naturally and to see life from that perspective.

I say try because it's a work in progress but I don't see it as fixing myself. I see it as allowing. Paying attention. Not being sloppy with the way I view things and see life. Taking responsibility for the way I feel. Allowing for the good and the bad to flow through. I realized that those distinctions are made up. What's good and bad is relative to how I see it. I don't force myself to see the good and move away from the bad, I just see it all as thought. I don't try to stop thought, I practice how to not see them as true. What's true is being. Sounds wishy washy but it's what's there. Being. Peaceful being. No witnessing or knowing of anything, just being. Suffering comes, it's being, happiness comes, it's being, sadness comes, its being, everything just is.