I posted this yesterday but I would like to turn it into a journal thread instead:  In this journal I will write some thoughts about my dad. I've already gone through years of blame and hatred and anger and I'd like to think I'm towards the tail end of this but that took me years of personal work. I'm building my own future where there's no room for guilt or negative feelings about this, but at the same time I must allow feelings right now to transscent it in a healthy way.  I can't hurry his physical death. I think the test is to stay on track with my goals and in tune with my feelings, raising my frequency, while still acknowledging the situation as it is. Or am I wrong? Because what I've been doing lately is simply ignoring all of my current circumstances in favor of the feelings of grattitude of my future circumstances, and that system has worked tremendously for me. My dad being in the hospital was the only physical situation that was able to pull me into this ego backlash.  Actually there were other situations too, but I simply removed myself from them. Here, I'm not able to remove myself from the sitaution entirely. The situation will keep reocurring until perhaps after his funeral. So it is up to me to deal with it gracefully.  My only responsibility in life is to raise my frequency. But at the same time it would be nice to deal with the "unwanted" gracefully.  But this might be a bit of a fantasy. A story where I tell myself  "everything in my life was going perfectly well until my old frequency came back in the form of my dad drinking himself into the hospital". So, my dad passes and life is all roses? No. Then there will be something else that triggers me. It could be an intimate relationship, it could be the ignorance of lower spiral stages, it could be evil in the world seemingly directed towards me. So the trick is to deal with this.  Comments are welcome in this journal.