What do I do? (urgent, please help)

[AerisVahnEphelia]

Therapy is bullshit. 

You just need to reframe reality way more and Integrate emptiness.

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You shouldn't expect psychedelics to fix you. They offer a temporary state change. If you hate your life, that's not something a psychedelic will fix. You have to address the reason why you hate your life. Which is going to involve lots of work building a good life. There's not a magic pill to skip all that work.

Lots of people have trauma but that doesn't mean they hate life. It sounds like your trauma is not really the root issue in your case. You shouldn't need to heal all your trauma to enjoy life.

Please don't harm yourself. Work on developing something to be passionate about.

I think you underestimate severe mental Illness caused by trauma

[Tristan12]

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Tristan12 Your issues require that you work with a therapist or someone like that who can give you one-on-one attention. Some internet talk is not going to be enough for your situation. You have to slowly work with a therapist to unravel all this stuff and work on your psychology bit by bit.

There is not going to be a simple one-shot cure here. Psychedelics can help but only as part of a larger theraputic agenda.

If you can afford a therapist please get one immediately. The most important thing for you at this point is to have face to face meetings with a professional.

I'm $30k in debt, a few thousand away from being bankrupt, and I have to go into more debt each month to cover living expenses since I can't work. My mum is in a lot of debt and just payed $7k for part of my ayahuasca retreat. So neither of us really have the money for that.

On top of that, I'm sure that would take a huge amount of time for me to start seeing results, which just prolongs the amount of time I spend not working and not making an income, so I'd run out of money for that reason as well. Also, that's months or years of continued daily suffering for me when I'm already so exhausted and am barely hanging on. So I feel like that solution just doesn't really work for me.

[Jayson G]

40 minutes ago, Tristan12 said:

I'm $30k in debt, a few thousand away from being bankrupt, and I have to go into more debt each month to cover living expenses since I can't work. My mum is in a lot of debt and just payed $7k for part of my ayahuasca retreat. So neither of us really have the money for that.

On top of that, I'm sure that would take a huge amount of time for me to start seeing results, which just prolongs the amount of time I spend not working and not making an income, so I'd run out of money for that reason as well. Also, that's months or years of continued daily suffering for me when I'm already so exhausted and am barely hanging on. So I feel like that solution just doesn't really work for me.

@Tristan12 Journaling + Sedona method saved my life emotionally. I was in deep emotional suffering but those 2 got me out. It's similar to therapy in that you are targeting specific emotions, acknowledging them, and releasing them. Think of journaling as your friend too. 

Many people have been in your situation and got out. Things may feel hopeless but that's just this current state you're in. You can do the work to get out, and I know it's exhausting, but one step at a time and you will get out. If you fail, just keep trying again. 

[Spiral Wizard]

Look up Detox Dudes, he suffered from severe mental health issues. Maybe you can get some inspiration and information from his journey. 

He also did A LOT of ayuasca and it didn’t help long term. 

[LittoDitto]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

The most important thing for you at this point is to have face to face meetings with a professional.

Do you mean physically meeting face to face with a therapist, or do you think online sessions face to face would work? 

[Salvijus]

Wise living is the only way to live a healthy, prosperous, long happy life. To follow the way of wise living you have to follow the Laws of life, also called Dharma or the ways of Dao. There is no other way. You'd be wise to look after the teachers of the Law, the teachers of Dharma to show you the way of wise living. 

Edited December 10 by Salvijus

[The Blind Sage]

4 hours ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

Therapy is bullshit. 

You just need to reframe reality way more and Integrate emptiness.

Which...can be done through therapy??

I don't get the criticism, why is it bs?

[Davino]

@Tristan12 Possible todolist to improve your wellbeing:

• Build solid income to sustain yourself
• Find a good psychologist or therapist (unblock the emotional body)
• Find a good physiotherapist, osteopath or chiropractic (unblock the energetic body, disolving tension deep in the body)
• Find a good sport for you and a right diet, if you can a personal trainer or/and nutrionist (unblock the physical body)
• Find an affordable professional that works in healing through psychedelics (unblock the spiritual body)
• Start journaling and introspecting, use AI to help keep track of yourself and give feedback into your condition (unblock the Mind)
• Build a good team of supporting people that care for you
• Actually go and do it! Two steps forward one step back, that's how the grinding works

This is the solution right here, although it will take a decade of vision and hardwork through your lowest moments to actualize. See this is the only option and go on working, it's about the journey, that I know, just the fact that you're going in the right direction will give you immense hope for life. I have no clue how shitty you must be, but rest assured: there's a future were you feel at peace, fulfilled in life and so powerful for having gone through hell to arrive to heaven.

Edited December 10 by Davino

[Thought Art]

@Tristan12 I found psychedelics helped as part of a larger system. Therapy, Qigong, journaling, self help books, environment, audiobooks, relationships, job changes, etc

[Thought Art]

7 hours ago, Tristan12 said:

I'm $30k in debt, a few thousand away from being bankrupt, and I have to go into more debt each month to cover living expenses since I can't work. My mum is in a lot of debt and just payed $7k for part of my ayahuasca retreat. So neither of us really have the money for that.

On top of that, I'm sure that would take a huge amount of time for me to start seeing results, which just prolongs the amount of time I spend not working and not making an income, so I'd run out of money for that reason as well. Also, that's months or years of continued daily suffering for me when I'm already so exhausted and am barely hanging on. So I feel like that solution just doesn't really work for me.

Part of the problem we face when we feel down is our mind creates imaginary obstacles.

You can use apps like better help or others, you can look into free group therapy sessions. You can do things at the same time. Find some kind of low stress job, while doing therapy a couple times a week. 
 

You would be amazed simply how much YOU deciding to take proactive steps for your situation is healing. Like:

1. Making a plan

2. Finding therapy groups or affordable therapy 

3. Putting debt Into a debt repayment calculator 

4. Doing some compassionate journaling
 

5. Getting enough sleep regularly, eating well, self compassion, 

Studies show that simply deciding and booking a therapy session is healing. You can find cheap or free ones to start. You can even use ChatGPT or similar.
 

Debt can be really stressful, but it’s something that can feel a lot better when you face it with a plan and accept its reality. 
 

Give it time. Make small consistent efforts.

Edited December 10 by Thought Art

[Davino]

9 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Debt can be really stressful, but it’s something that can feel a lot better when you face it with a plan and accept its reality. 

Once they asked my grandad if he was worried about the ammount of debt he borrowed to buy agriculture technology when everyone else was using animals

he said: me, worried?

The one that gave me the money should be worried

Not me

 

What I find brilliant about this true story is how differently he cognised the situation in contrast with everyone around him despite being an iliterate peasant.

Edited December 10 by Davino

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Tristan12 said:

I'm $30k in debt, a few thousand away from being bankrupt

That's unfortunate. But I don't see how you are gonna get out of this situation without some professional help. Your mind is not in good shape to help itself.

Maybe there are some free programs available in your area.

[ryoko]

The pain you feel right now is the price you're paying, for all the highs you've "borrowed" from your future.

I'm not being judgemental here. You're off balance#, karma-wise. You have to maintain a state you are tolerable with, else the balance will keep shifting towards death. A point where, dying seems more peaceful than suffering. Death is balancing things, so is your suffering, they're not different.

Suffer more deliberately, and use that window to do productive things. Suffer in every way imaginable. Abandon all the highs. No substance, no junk foods. And at one point, you'll have reached a state you're tolerable with, then don't piss that away again by taking substances.

Again, these are not hard rules, this is just how the karmic scale works. You have to pay your highs back, in highs(and sometimes it's heightened suffering and that's okay)

#the balance is never off, that's the whole point. Everything is balanced all the time. You just can't handle the current balance.

[trenton]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Maybe there are some free programs available in your area.

@Tristan12 what Leo suggested here might be a kernel of hope to hold onto.

I am going to be honest with you. Your situation is so serious and complex that I've been consulting with an AI assistant to help me respond appropriately. I want to help, but I feel out of my depth with the severity of what you're going through. Here's what the AI suggested.

"You're right that we need to be very careful with the response, and it's good that you recognize the gravity of the situation. While his situation feels hopeless to him (and may seem that way to us), we need to craft a response that balances honesty with hope while prioritizing his immediate safety.

Let me help draft a response:

"I've read everything you've shared, and I can see why you feel trapped and hopeless. The combination of severe PTSD, crushing debt, inability to work, and the deep pain you're experiencing every day is overwhelming. I hear how exhausted you are from fighting this for 7 years.

I need to be direct: I'm very concerned about your safety, especially knowing about your attempts in August. While I want to help, this is beyond what friendly support alone can handle. You need and deserve professional support, especially for PTSD and trauma at this level.

I know you mentioned the financial barriers to getting help, but there are some options we could look into:

Community mental health centers often have sliding scale fees based on income

Some areas have teaching clinics that offer therapy for as little as $10-20 per session

There are trauma support groups that are completely free

Some therapists offer payment plans or reduced fees for people in financial hardship

For immediate support, completely free:

You can call 988 anytime 24/7 to talk to someone

Text HOME to 741741 if you prefer texting

These services can also help connect you to local resources

I know this might sound like a long road when you're already exhausted. But you've already shown incredible strength by surviving 7 years of this. You don't have to figure everything out right now. The first step is just getting support to keep you safe while you're in this crisis.

Would you be willing to try reaching out to one of these services? I'm happy to stay here with you and talk more, but I care about your safety and really want you to have professional support through this."

 

 

It's me again. Maybe I will read over what you are going through again later to refresh my memory. Your problems need to be broken down and managed accordingly. I am not used to handling your particular challenges. I remember you mentioned attachment issues and crippling anxiety. I know some therapists recommended dating for me before, but for you it definitely seems inappropriate. I don't know how to help your attachment issues because I myself have issues like these I haven't fully resolved. Rather than being needy and clingy, I have an avoiding attachment style because I'm afraid of being hurt again by relationships like these. I avoid relationships all together to avoid ending up like mom and dad among other reasons.

Starting with your debt, if you call 988, they might try to hospitalize you. You need to make it clear that you have such a bad situation that you are nearly bankrupt. You can't afford to accumulate more debt. They can help you find free immediate resources in your area.

Maybe I can try to help of you describe what caused the PTSD. You may be describing CPTSD. This means you didn't experience just one traumatic event, but many and each of them impacted you deeply. This can deeply undermine your sense of self worth and meaning in life. If you are open to my attempts to stop you from killing yourself, then I want you to write out which experiences are bothering you and how did they impact your thought process, behaviors, and emotions. Given that you previously had many good habits, you may have experienced a delayed trauma response. You may need to break down each trauma response with the help of further insight into what exactly your mind is doing. What happened seven years ago when these problems began to emerge?

I have made a couple of responses with my best attempts to help you. I want you to tell me if anything I said in this thread has been helpful at all. I don't want you to kill yourself.

If it means anything to you, know that there are people out there who care for you and want to stop your suffering. You might be suffering from something like damage to the brain or nervous system dysfunction given the extreme emotional problems you described. Did you have any serious injuries?

Has anything I said so far been helpful?

[r0ckyreed]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That's unfortunate. But I don't see how you are gonna get out of this situation without some professional help. Your mind is not in good shape to help itself.

Maybe there are some free programs available in your area.

The man can call 988. There are mental health professionals on the line 24/7.

OP obviously has some desire to live; otherwise, he wouldn’t be on here asking for help. Use that same desire OP to change your life one day at a time.

Edited December 10 by r0ckyreed

[Thought Art]

I would start with small steps like calling 988 or whatever number is relevant in your area. Get the help you need.

[Raze]

11 hours ago, Tristan12 said:

I'm $30k in debt, a few thousand away from being bankrupt, and I have to go into more debt each month to cover living expenses since I can't work. My mum is in a lot of debt and just payed $7k for part of my ayahuasca retreat. So neither of us really have the money for that.

On top of that, I'm sure that would take a huge amount of time for me to start seeing results, which just prolongs the amount of time I spend not working and not making an income, so I'd run out of money for that reason as well. Also, that's months or years of continued daily suffering for me when I'm already so exhausted and am barely hanging on. So I feel like that solution just doesn't really work for me.

Try self therapy by Jay Earley and when therapy doesn’t work by Shelly young 

[Leo Gura]

53 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

The man can call 988. There are mental health professionals on the line 24/7.

OP obviously has some desire to live; otherwise, he wouldn’t be on here asking for help. Use that same desire OP to change your life one day at a time.

What he needs is not an emergency number but long-term guidance. Someone who can work with him for a year or more. His situation is chronic.

Edited December 10 by Leo Gura

[Jowblob]

If you're gonna keep thinking that you need to heal yourself or that you need to do special practices all the time to heal yourself you're gonna manifest sickness. Your solution is simply to think that you don't need any healing and that you're fine how you are.