College Student: Nervous Asking A Girl Out.

[joegarland]

Man there's this girl in my class. I talk to her a lot and keep meaning to ask her out, but always find reasons not to. The biggest reason is that I don't have the perfect first date idea. And I don't know the best way to do it so that she'll say yes. I thought I knew some shit about dating but I'm facing the fact that I'm actually pretty clueless about the whole thing.

Do I just ask her after class if she wants to get dinner sometime and then get her number?

How do you ask it? Is dinner a good first date? If not, what's better?

Any dudes out there who had real good relationships in college? Input is appreciated. 

[Guest]

I advise you to do serious research on dating and relationships to get a holistic point of view on the matter, that way you have a good baseline and don't hit these road blocks and get stuck. 

 

I recommend the following sources:

Coach Corey Wayne

AttractionInstitute 

Dr. Nerdlove

Any of the three will give you a great foundation.

As for the particular situation, if you really want the date, I advise you to just take action and not to think about it too much. The most satisfaction you will get is by letting go of your expectations and just having fun in the moment. If you get rejected, no big deal. 

If you rather not take action and would rather learn about this stuff first to reduce your failure rate and so you can feel like you know what you are doing, then I recommend you just study the material as diligently as possible first.

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: None of the sources I provided are PUA material. They are solid sources of advice for dating and relationships. If you want to avoid huge mistakes in your dating life, I strongly encourage you to seriously study.

[Endew]

@joegarland Go out on your freetime by yourself. Dinner, School Activities or whatever you enjoy and latter invite her to tag along.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Endew

[Endew]

@Saitama Is right avoid pua. It set me back in the past.

[electroBeam]

1 hour ago, Endew said:

@Saitama Is right avoid pua. It set me back in the past.

How did it set you back? PUA is designed to send you forward, I'm curious

[kalter000]

@joegarland It seems you are overly attached to that girl and you show signs of neediness. Girls hate neediness. Make it casual and as not a big deal. If you'll push too much pressure on her "you are love of my life, I NEED YOU TO GO WITH MEEEEE!!11", it will scare her away. 

Don't be so investing in this girl, you don't even know if she likes you or not. If she will go on a date with you, it means that she wants to get to know you better, your personality. How you display that - doesn't matter. Simple walk in the park might be enough, don't "buy" her.

Focus attention on being carefree and enjoying yourself.

And do pick up, mistakes must be made!

Edited February 15, 2016 by kalter000

[Lynnel]

12 hours ago, Endew said:

@Saitama Is right avoid pua. It set me back in the past.

This only means you did it wrong which is...quite...sad.

 

12 hours ago, Saitama said:

I recommend the following sources:

Coach Corey Wayne

AttractionInstitute 

Dr. Nerdlove

Any of the three will give you a great foundation.

Why did you choose those ressources ? A great fondation, what for ?

I will check those and report back.

[ZenMonkey]

The disadvantage with dinner (in a restaurant): it's very formal, you can't move and sit in front of each other the whole time. So you have to have good communication skills, otherwise it can get akward if you sit there starring at each other and don't know what to talk about. Something with more activities can give you a break. It can also be easier to make a move like put your arm around her if you don't sit in front of each other. And depending on the situation and your age paying for a whole dinner might be to much to much. But doesn't have to.

[Avi]

Froyo or ice cream is the best first date. Not because I'm on a date with a girl I'm interested in but because I love froyo and ice cream. Do what you want to do, she will follow if she agrees to the date. 

[Endew]

@electroBeam @joegarland

I found the simple way to meet women

First Be yourself
Second Be confident

Most people that want to take these pick up artist courses fall into that category. Don't fall for that trick. Go build confidence the right way.

[Lynnel]

1 minute ago, Endew said:

@electroBeam@joegarland

First Be yourself
Second Be confident
 

This doesn't work if you're not attractive. Ahah. And you can't magically become confident either

[Blessed81]

As said above dinner might be a bit weird if you cannot naturally guide the convo with questions.  When you ask for her number be really cool and calm about the whole thing.  Basically you want to act lke youve gotten numbers all your life and that its no big deal.  Do not have a text relationship, thats been horrible for me.  Use the phone for making appointments to hang out, have fun, and hook up.  Do NOT have an all day text a thon.  

You def need to watch coach corey wayne videos on youtube he will change your whole life.  I reallllly recommend his book "how to be a 3% man". It will change you into a ladies manthat actually understands women and how to pick them up.  Trust me man read that book. 

[kalter000]

1 hour ago, Endew said:

@electroBeam @joegarland

I found the simple way to meet women

First Be yourself
Second Be confident

Most people that want to take these pick up artist courses fall into that category. Don't fall for that trick. Go build confidence the right way.

1) You don't know who you are to begin with, how you supposed to be something you don't know?

2) You can't just be confident, it's deep inner transformation, how exactly to do that?

It's common shallow advice "naturals" are giving, and it's more irritating than helpful. "Oh, you're suicidal? - Just don't be suicidal". Yeah, right.

[electroBeam]

6 hours ago, Endew said:

@electroBeam @joegarland

I found the simple way to meet women

First Be yourself
Second Be confident

Most people that want to take these pick up artist courses fall into that category. Don't fall for that trick. Go build confidence the right way.

I've written this before, though not everyone is fortunate to be able to have looks, or natural confidence, humour, edgy personality straight from birth.

There is a level of skill and experience involved in developing a good relationship, and while some don't need to work on themselves to get it, through natural talent, some do.

While authenticity is important, as others have said, you still need to work on yourself, and develop skills, and adapt yourself to give yourself the most opportunity and success. Women aren't just going to like you for 'being yourself', they are going to like you if you fit the criteria they want(edgy, adventurous, cool, alpha male, etc) and this HAS TO BE LEARNT, and is a SKILL that has to be DEVELOPED, for some people at least.

PUA is a perfect way to develop this skill and solve this problem. Once you outgrow PUA, you can try and 'be yourself' and just be 'confident'.

Honestly, I think a lot of people on here are very unrealistic, and over optimistic with the use of authenticity. While it is important, and required for happiness, it is also an excuse for not putting in the hard work into learning how to develop a good relationship. It is leaving your attractiveness up to chance, and just hoping that you had an alpha male personality, and good looks from birth. Its just like telling a girl to not wear makeup on a first date which girl wouldn't do that? Someone who isn't looking for a relationship, or a girl who is deeply mature or spiritually enlightened.

Edited February 19, 2016 by electroBeam