The Frog Prince

[Emerald]

About a year ago or so, there was this pattern that kept coming up in my dreams that I felt a little perplexed by. But I have recently had some insights about.

I was having all these sexual dreams with famous right wing men that I find repulsive in real life. And funny enough, most of my sexual dreams feel very awkward and boring. It's like, just happening without any compelling feelings. 

But these dreams with these guys I find repulsive have all be super intimate feeling and very passionate... and arousing. And that never happens with my dreams. (I'll write out the dreams below.)

But it's occurred to me that there's something very archetypal about these dreams.

If anyone knows me, they know that I find the tendencies coming from these famous right wing figures really foolish, dishonest, heartless, and repulsive. And I see them as a net negative for humanity because I see them as harmful to the fabric of society. And that's because they're whole job is to froth people into a rage and direct that rage towards more vulnerable groups of people.

So, it is precisely the things I find most disgusting about Shadow Masculinity that these guys embody... tyranny, picking on the weaker, making career power moves at the expense of other and society at large, etc.

And I've realized recently that I've had a lot of difficulties with integrating my Masculine side over the past 15 years or so. I used to be really polarized into my Masculine side, but I've been more polarized to the Feminine side since I was about 20. And it's decreased my productivity and drive. I used to be crazy productive as a teenager, and now I'm only 50% as productive as I was back then.

And I suspect that these guys are a reflection about the disgust that I feel towards my own Masculine side (which I pushed away after realizing that I'd repressed my Feminine side so strongly in my first 20 years of life).

And I see them as a similar archetypal reflection to the one that's in the story of the Frog Prince... where the princess has to kiss the frog for the frog to transform into a handsome prince.

And it is in my rejection of the "disgusting" Masculinity of the frog that keeps me from integrating the higher expressions of the Masculine... which is symbolized by the prince. Like, I really feel aversive to most things that are Masculine in terms of values to the point where I can't really access a lot of the positive Masculine potentials that used to come to me so naturally as a child and teenager.

I even had a dream once that I went into a Burger KING to meet the QUEEN of England. But all these men were in line and I didn't get to meet her. But the Burger King was two stories. And the lower story looked like a Burger King, but the upper floor looked like a dark psychedelic space... like a cool roller rink with black, dark purple, and neon colors. And I could see it from the lower floor but didn't get there.

My sense is that, if I want to get in touch with the inner QUEEN (my personal sovereignty and leadership qualities), I must integrate and love the lower Masculinity of the frog... to open up to the higher Masculinity as symbolized by the upper floor of the Burger King in that dream.

And I sense that it comes from approaching these figures that I feel disgust towards from a more compassionate place, where I come to understand and find the love there at the deep level. This has come up in my medicine journeys anyway.

But I find it difficult because I tend to feel so angry and disgusted. It's hard to "kiss the frog".

___

Here are the dreams...

I had two really spicy dreams about Jordan Peterson where he and I were arguing and it turned sexual.

In one, he and I were teaching at the same school and his classroom was next to mine (btw, I used to be a school teacher in real life). And I found out from another teacher that he wasn't teaching the right curriculum to the students.

And I went to his classroom, and he was up in front teaching, but there were no students there. And I was SUPER angry. And I got into a big argument with him. And then, he was sitting down in a chair and I was standing up. And we were arguing with one another. And I got aggressive and climbed onto his lap and straddled him and was speaking very closely and intensely to him with my face really close to his. And then, were started kissing passionately and aggressively in the same way it happens in movies where the characters are arguing and it turns to suddenly into sex.

Then, in the other one he was just arguing with someone and explaining something with intensity. And he was inexplicably making love to me in doing so.

---

I had another dream that I hooked up with Andrew Tate at a party and it was really intimate friendly sex. And then, I knew by the look on his face that he'd fallen in love with me and that felt a little too intense because I wasn't looking for anything serious. So, I was taking all these random secret passages to avoid him so that he didn't get too clingy.

---

Then in another dream, I was outside at twilight in from of the high school that I went to as a teenager. And there was a bunch of mobile homes that these famous right wingers on tour had set up. And I was a teacher at the school, and another teacher was mentioning that some of them needed to move. And I volunteered to knock on Tucker Carlson's door to tell him this. 

And I walked over to his door and knocked. And when I knocked, I felt this cool breeze hit me. And I suddenly felt this sense of arousal and anticipation at the prospect of visiting with Tucker. And I was wondering/hoping it would turn sexual.

Then, I went in and he had pizza boxes everywhere and his place was messy. And he had all these papers everywhere with blue writing all over them. And I kept trying to engage him in conversation and to take things to a more intimate connected direction. 

But it was like he struggled to make eye contact with me. And he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, that he couldn't really see me as I was. And it was like this longing to be seen and connected to and to take things in a physical direction... but it was impossible because he'd already written over everything with "blue pen"... which I think represents him being wrapped up in his own mind and projections onto reality.

---

Then a couple months ago, I had a dream that I was at a house party that Elon Musk had thrown... or was in attendence of. And I was a little tired, so I decided to take a nap on this long couch. And everyone at the party left the living room, except Elon Musk.

So, it was just me (awake but trying to sleep on the couch) and Elon Musk sitting close to where my feet are. 

And I can tell that Elon thinks that I'm asleep, and that he's going to try to do something sexual to me in my sleep. So, I decide to pretend to sleep so that I can see what he's going to do to me. And I'm curious but also aroused... but I'm also sort of disgusted by the behavior and waiting for him to incriminate himself with me.

I can't recall what happens after that, but I know that something sexual happened. If I remember correctly, things escalated to sex and I just let it keep happening because I wanted it to happen. But I was still pretending to be half asleep.

[Bobby_2021]

19 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I was having all these sexual dreams with famous right wing men that I find repulsive in real life. And funny enough, most of my sexual dreams feel very awkward and boring. It's like, just happening without any compelling feelings

So many dots were connected while I was reading. Thanks for writing this.

I suppose it has something to do with "I can change him" kind of female fantasy where she takes a frog and turns him into a prince with her charm and femininity. 

[Raze]

Be careful, writing down dreams and replaying them mentally can make them stick in your memory and make similar dreams more vivid in the future. 
 

Your analysis makes sense to me. I think dreams are a side effect of your subconscious reordering things.

My dreams are fuzzy and confusing now and I barely remember them, but I used to have frustrating or disturbing ones so I try to avoid analyzing them to make it harder to remember them.

Edited December 5 by Raze

[Bobby_2021]

1 minute ago, Raze said:

Be careful, writing down dreams and replaying them mentally can make them stick in your memory and make similar dreams more vivid in the future. 

So what? Let them dreams be free. They are revealing hidden aspects of oneself which wouldn't have surfaced to the top due to inhibitions of the conscious mind.

[Raze]

9 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

I suppose it has something to do with "I can change him" kind of female fantasy where she takes a frog and turns him into a prince with her charm and femininity. 

Her analysis makes more sense. That is more about a narrative fulfillment usually centered around one person at a time.

She dreams of multiple figures who she isn’t normally attracted to. She probably harbors disdain for them partially as a projection of her repression of masculine sides like she said, and the dream is expressing some process to understand this.

[Emerald]

20 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

So many dots were connected while I was reading. Thanks for writing this.

I suppose it has something to do with "I can change him" kind of female fantasy where she takes a frog and turns him into a prince with her charm and femininity. 

I could see how that would apply to that dynamic with the "I can change him" thing.

But in these dreams, it's almost like my attraction comes mostly from my sensing of their negativity... except the one with Andrew Tate.

It's funny that he was like this super tender hearted guy in my dream. And I felt so guilty for sleeping with him because I could sense that he was in love with me and wanted a long term relationship.

So, I think it has more to do with my need to embrace my own Masculine side that I've developed some aversion and disgust towards because of how I parted with it back when I was 20.

I spent the first 20 years of my life totally polarized to the Masculine and basing my value on my productivity and achievement... and my ability to be more successful than others. And I really saw myself as a "human doing" rather than as a "human being". 

So, I was a workaholic by the time I hit my teen years. And this benefitted me in some major ways. I ended up graduating Summa Cum Laude from high school purely off of my own motivation (I haven't lived with my parents since I was 16), I developed a high degree of skill in the arts, and I brought myself through college.

I was really into the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality back then, and I was deep in this Stage Orange hyper-individualism and competition. And I really felt like, if I wasn't achieving, that I was total trash.

And I secretly harbored lots of judgments towards others based off of their ability to stick to my values (which I assumed to be universal values) around things like work ethic, chastity, honest, excellence, success, etc. 

Then, at 20... my whole house of cards fell down and life pulled my "I always succeed, even in the face of chaos" identity out from under me. And I sunk deep into my shame.

And I happened to have my first medicine journeys during that time. And I had this realization in the first one that the Masculine and Feminine was real (and not just a social construct as I'd previously assumed). And I could sense the Feminine in the night air, in the trees, and the grass... and in myself.

And this led to a year-long foray into integration of the Feminine by rending myself loose from all my hyper-Masculining patriarchal conditionings that were now very evident to me that every value that I held was archetypally Masculine... and I hated most archetypal Feminine values.

But along with this dynamic, I also kicked my motivational motors out from under me. And I've found better motivational motors, but never fully reintegrated the Masculine.

And now, there's a lot of accountability issues and laziness... and identities that correspond. 

Previously, I used to be the most motivated person I knew and wore that badge with pride. But now, I'm just gingerly rowing the boat down the stream in a way that's a little too liesurely for my liking.

And I miss some elements of the lower state of Masculinity that I used to be in. But now I see an opportunity to integrate the higher Masculine, now that I've spent so much time detached from the lower Masculine and marinating and languishing in the positive and negative Feminine.

[Emerald]

22 minutes ago, Raze said:

Her analysis makes more sense. That is more about a narrative fulfillment usually centered around one person at a time.

She dreams of multiple figures who she isn’t normally attracted to. She probably harbors disdain for them partially as a projection of her repression of masculine sides like she said, and the dream is expressing some process to understand this.

Yeah, I see it more along the lines of them being symbols of my disgust towards my Masculine side.

It also occurs to me now that perhaps their famousness is part of the symbol... as it isn't just some random right wingy guy with similar values to them.

One of the regrets that I have about my YouTube channel is that I've been lukewarm in my motivations towards it. And despite that, I've still been pretty successful. I have almost 70,000 subscribers now.

But if I had been more diligent like I was as a teenager with my polarization into the Masculine, I have no doubt that I could have made many more videos and a broader audience. And I would have been able to express far more of my insights.

Yet again, my polarization from back them and my disconnection from the Feminine made me much narrower in my perspectives. So, I wouldn't have been able to provide as much value as I can now that I've gone through that process.

So, I think... if I want to be able to be more prolific in my creative and intellectual endeavors and to grow my audience, I really have to heal my relationship with the Masculine.

It's such a frustrating thing when you had something so completely in the palm of your hand before... and then you lose it. 

[Yimpa]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I really have to heal my relationship with the Masculine.

Right there with you! I am doing the opposite… healing my relationship with the Feminine.

[Emerald]

31 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Right there with you! I am doing the opposite… healing my relationship with the Feminine.

That's an interesting journey. I recommend the authors Jean Raffa, Maureen Murdoch, and June Singer.

These were the most helpful authors that I found when I first started to reintegrate the Feminine.

[Yimpa]

@Emerald Much appreciated!

[Brittany]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

If anyone knows me, they know that I find the tendencies coming from these famous right wing figures really foolish, dishonest, heartless, and repulsive. And I see them as a net negative for humanity because I see them as harmful to the fabric of society. And that's because they're whole job is to froth people into a rage and direct that rage towards more vulnerable groups of people.

So, it is precisely the things I find most disgusting about Shadow Masculinity that these guys embody... tyranny, picking on the weaker, making career power moves at the expense of other and society at large, etc.

 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I spent the first 20 years of my life totally polarized to the Masculine and basing my value on my productivity and achievement... and my ability to be more successful than others. And I really saw myself as a "human doing" rather than as a "human being". 

So, I was a workaholic by the time I hit my teen years. And this benefitted me in some major ways. I ended up graduating Summa Cum Laude from high school purely off of my own motivation (I haven't lived with my parents since I was 16), I developed a high degree of skill in the arts, and I brought myself through college.

I was really into the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality back then, and I was deep in this Stage Orange hyper-individualism and competition. And I really felt like, if I wasn't achieving, that I was total trash.

And I secretly harbored lots of judgments towards others based off of their ability to stick to my values (which I assumed to be universal values) around things like work ethic, chastity, honest, excellence, success, etc. =

I think we need to be careful with these New Age/Jungian classifications of the "Masculine".

You have classified being:

- foolish

- dishonest

- heartless

- repulsive

- froth people into a rage and direct that rage towards more vulnerable groups of people

- tyranny

- picking on the weaker

- making career power moves at the expense of other and society at large

- wanting to be more successful than others

- competitive

As "Shadow Masculine" traits

But if there is one thing, that I think Christianity does well, is that it doesn't classify "Sin", for a lack of a better word,  into Masculine and Feminine.

The qualities you listed are not Masculine..... they are just "Sin" or Vices.

Vices that both genders fall into. 

Some of these rigid classifications of the Masculine and Feminine in the New Age/Jungian world, are binding and lock people in an unnecessary box.

And it can also make you very unprepared when you meet Right Wing women, who can be very Feminine, wear makeup and dresses, are stay at home moms, don't hold typical Stage Orange careers, etc. ............ but who still harbor the same exact attributes as tyranny, picking on the weaker, wanting to be more successful than others, competitive, heartless, dishonest , rage toward vulnerable people, etc ..... as the Right Wing men.

You listed traits of people who value "maintaining hierarchy" above all else.

And Right Wing Women, even if they are unemployed and are Stay at Home Moms, really care about "maintaining hierarchy".

These are not Masculine traits.

These are traits of a person with questionable moral character.

 

Edited December 5 by Brittany

[Leo Gura]

Having sex with Jordan Peterson in your dreams is a banable forum offense.

[yetineti]

😂

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Having sex with Jordan Peterson in your dreams is a banable forum offense.

That's fair. I'll see myself out.  

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Brittany said:

 

I think we need to be careful with these New Age/Jungian classifications of the "Masculine".

You have classified being:

- foolish

- dishonest

- heartless

- repulsive

- froth people into a rage and direct that rage towards more vulnerable groups of people

- tyranny

- picking on the weaker

- making career power moves at the expense of other and society at large

- wanting to be more successful than others

- competitive

As "Shadow Masculine" traits

But if there is one thing, that I think Christianity does well, is that it doesn't classify "Sin", for a lack of a better word,  into Masculine and Feminine.

The qualities you listed are not Masculine..... they are just "Sin" or Vices.

Vices that both genders fall into. 

Some of these rigid classifications of the Masculine and Feminine in the New Age/Jungian world, are binding and lock people in an unnecessary box.

And it can also make you very unprepared when you meet Right Wing women, who can be very Feminine, wear makeup and dresses, are stay at home moms, don't hold typical Stage Orange careers, etc. ............ but who still harbor the same exact attributes as tyranny, picking on the weaker, wanting to be more successful than others, competitive, heartless, dishonest , rage toward vulnerable people, etc ..... as the Right Wing men.

You listed traits of people who value "maintaining hierarchy" above all else.

And Right Wing Women, even if they are unemployed and are Stay at Home Moms, really care about "maintaining hierarchy".

These are not Masculine traits.

These are traits of a person with questionable moral character.

 

 First off, when I say Masculine... I don't mean things primarily pertaining to gender. Masculine and Feminine are two polar energies that exist in all living and non-living systems. It's more like Yin and Yang than Woman-like-ness and Man-like-ness.

And the issue with being unaware of which energies and archetypes are at play in a given dynamic is that we can have a bias against one of the energies/archetypes without realizing we have a bias.

For example, when I was under the age of 20, I was thinking very similarly to you. And I thought that Masculinity and Femininity was nothing more than a social construct and that it was just limiting boxes to put everyone in. (And people can indeed make that mistake if they're not careful if they use this awareness to box themselves in.)

But then, I had a direct experience of the Feminine in a medicine journey. And it defied all societal norms and boxes. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the Feminine gender role in society's eyes.

But I felt a deep sense that I couldn't use any other descriptor other than Feminine to describe what I was experiencing. And I realized that I had been repressing this Feminine energy my entire life and it was disconnecting me from nature and my body... and huge parts of my personality.

And prior to that, I had unknowingly polarized into Masculine traits and saw them as superior to Feminine traits across the board.

Because I saw all traits as neutral and didn't realize that Masculinity and Femininity is real on an archetypal and energetic level, I didn't recognize my patriarchal biases which had resulted in a lot of Feminine repression and internalized misogyny.

Also, in my post I only characterized tyranny, picking on the weaker, and making career power moves at the expense of other and society at large as Shadow Masculine traits. And these are archetypal Masculine traits that happen to be negative.

Foolish, dishonest, heartless, repulsive, and frothing people into a rage and direct that rage towards more vulnerable groups of people is very specific to these types of famous right wing figures. So, the heartless one fits as a Shadow Masculine trait because disconnection from emotions is an expression of the negative Masculine. But the others could fall into either category.

Wanting to be more successful than others and competitive are more neutral Masculine traits that can be expressed in positive and negative ways.

But yes, right wing women often times do have many Shadow Masculine traits because that's what makes you more fit for survival in a patriarchal environment. Femininity isn't a plant that can grow in patriarchal soil, so all women in these hyper-Masculine environments must repress their Femininity and use Masculine shields to protect themselves.

So, there's a dynamic with famous right wing women of being hyper-Feminine in appearance but possessing more domineering and Masculine personality qualities. Think of people like Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Green.

But like I mentioned, the Masculine and Feminine exist in all living and non-living systems. Anyone can have positive Masculine or Feminine qualities.

Also in patriarchal religions like Christianity, most of the things characterized as sins fall into the Feminine principle.

In an archetypally patriarchal religion, there is a distant God that's usually associated with the sky. And there is the notion that the Earth is a lower plane and that the lower plane must be transcended by detaching from the world of form or the sins of the flesh.

The Masculine has to do with the non-physical/spiritual/perfect and the Feminine has to do with the body, the physical world, and the imperfect. And Christianity is all about overcoming the sins of the physical world to transcend to a non-physical superior world.

So, there is a very strong Masculine principled bias... even if it SOMETIMES isn't spelled out as such (though sometimes it definitely is). That's why it's important to know about these archetypes. We can accidentally become anti-Feminine just because so much of our philosophical framework is based on a rejection of the Feminine principle and the Earthly nature.

So, Earth is like the Feminine... as is Hell which is even more deeply inset into the Earth. And Heaven is like the Masculine.

[AION]

I had the same with feminine nature. I was really disgusted by flakeyness, emotionality and flow of the feminine. Only when I accepted the outer(feminine nature of women), I could accept the inner (my own feminine). 

[Oeaohoo]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

I even had a dream once that I went into a Burger KING to meet the QUEEN of England. But all these men were in line and I didn't get to meet her.

My sense is that, if I want to get in touch with the inner QUEEN (my personal sovereignty and leadership qualities), I must integrate and love the lower Masculinity of the frog... to open up to the higher Masculinity as symbolized by the upper floor of the Burger King in that dream.

Fascinating, it’s almost the exact reverse of the dream I shared with you. If you remember, I went to Donald Trump’s house where he was staying in England and ended up meeting Melania Trump.

Maybe my dream has a similar meaning. I have always found the Melania Trump type of woman very repulsive. Maybe I will kiss her and she will turn into a princess…

Thanks for sharing your insight!

[LastThursday]

@Emerald it seems to me that the common thread between your waking disgust and your sexual dreams is intensity of emotion, i.e. there is an emotional connection there and they're also both to do with men/masculinity. I've often woken up from dreams and had a certain amount of repulsion at what I dreamt, but I realise that's just my logical mind kicking in. Underlying the logic is a sea of emotion and often that involves giving yourself into it - despite how irrational it seems. In order to grow (and understand better) we need to experience what it is to give ourselves up to what we find disgusting or repulsive. Dreams are a "safe space" for that, I guess.

[Brittany]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

 First off, when I say Masculine... I don't mean things primarily pertaining to gender. Masculine and Feminine are two polar energies that exist in all living and non-living systems. It's more like Yin and Yang than Woman-like-ness and Man-like-ness.

And the issue with being unaware of which energies and archetypes are at play in a given dynamic is that we can have a bias against one of the energies/archetypes without realizing we have a bias.

For example, when I was under the age of 20, I was thinking very similarly to you. And I thought that Masculinity and Femininity was nothing more than a social construct and that it was just limiting boxes to put everyone in. (And people can indeed make that mistake if they're not careful if they use this awareness to box themselves in.)

But then, I had a direct experience of the Feminine in a medicine journey. And it defied all societal norms and boxes. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the Feminine gender role in society's eyes.

But I felt a deep sense that I couldn't use any other descriptor other than Feminine to describe what I was experiencing. And I realized that I had been repressing this Feminine energy my entire life and it was disconnecting me from nature and my body... and huge parts of my personality.

And prior to that, I had unknowingly polarized into Masculine traits and saw them as superior to Feminine traits across the board.

Because I saw all traits as neutral and didn't realize that Masculinity and Femininity is real on an archetypal and energetic level, I didn't recognize my patriarchal biases which had resulted in a lot of Feminine repression and internalized misogyny.

Also, in my post I only characterized tyranny, picking on the weaker, and making career power moves at the expense of other and society at large as Shadow Masculine traits. And these are archetypal Masculine traits that happen to be negative.

Foolish, dishonest, heartless, repulsive, and frothing people into a rage and direct that rage towards more vulnerable groups of people is very specific to these types of famous right wing figures. So, the heartless one fits as a Shadow Masculine trait because disconnection from emotions is an expression of the negative Masculine. But the others could fall into either category.

Wanting to be more successful than others and competitive are more neutral Masculine traits that can be expressed in positive and negative ways.

But yes, right wing women often times do have many Shadow Masculine traits because that's what makes you more fit for survival in a patriarchal environment. Femininity isn't a plant that can grow in patriarchal soil, so all women in these hyper-Masculine environments must repress their Femininity and use Masculine shields to protect themselves.

So, there's a dynamic with famous right wing women of being hyper-Feminine in appearance but possessing more domineering and Masculine personality qualities. Think of people like Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Green.

But like I mentioned, the Masculine and Feminine exist in all living and non-living systems. Anyone can have positive Masculine or Feminine qualities.

Also in patriarchal religions like Christianity, most of the things characterized as sins fall into the Feminine principle.

In an archetypally patriarchal religion, there is a distant God that's usually associated with the sky. And there is the notion that the Earth is a lower plane and that the lower plane must be transcended by detaching from the world of form or the sins of the flesh.

The Masculine has to do with the non-physical/spiritual/perfect and the Feminine has to do with the body, the physical world, and the imperfect. And Christianity is all about overcoming the sins of the physical world to transcend to a non-physical superior world.

So, there is a very strong Masculine principled bias... even if it SOMETIMES isn't spelled out as such (though sometimes it definitely is). That's why it's important to know about these archetypes. We can accidentally become anti-Feminine just because so much of our philosophical framework is based on a rejection of the Feminine principle and the Earthly nature.

So, Earth is like the Feminine... as is Hell which is even more deeply inset into the Earth. And Heaven is like the Masculine.

This is very helpful.

I understand this "First off, when I say Masculine... I don't mean things primarily pertaining to gender. Masculine and Feminine are two polar energies that exist in all living and non-living systems. It's more like Yin and Yang than Woman-like-ness and Man-like-ness. And the issue with being unaware of which energies and archetypes are at play in a given dynamic is that we can have a bias against one of the energies/archetypes without realizing we have a bias. the Masculine and Feminine exist in all living and non-living systems. Anyone can have positive Masculine or Feminine qualities."

I think what confuses me is when we start bringing up Real Life women or men, in these discussions.

And we say "These men are in their Toxic Masculine. We need men to be in their Healthy Masculine."

Or when a woman says "I was not in my Feminine"

When I hear this, my mind automatically goes into "Men must be X and Women must be Y", which causes resistance in me. But I understand that is not what is being said.

Then, it also gets confusing when:

Women who have a "Feminine performance" but who are in their Toxic Masculine.

and Men who have a "Masculine performance" but who are in their Toxic Feminine.

Some people put on a performance of femininity and masculinity, but their actual energies are something else. And this is very confusing.

And then sometimes, with certain behaviors, I wish we could just say layman terms like "This person is a bully" or "They are unkind" instead of giving it more flowery language like "They are in their toxic masculine".  But I get it. You are creating a map of the psyche. It is going to sound metaphorical.

I need to stay more open minded and patient.

There is still a lot for me to learn and explore about this topic.

I just need to stop rolling my eyes around the topic and calling it "Woo", and begin to do the work. haha

Edited December 5 by Brittany

[mmKay]

I love hearing about people's dreams, and this was a pretty fun read--though this probably doesn't belong in this subforum, lol.

Now you’ve got me considering reading some erotic books for women. I like the idea of exploring y’all’s twisted imagination (just to broaden my psychological understanding, of course 😉).

Since we’re in the politics subforum, here’s some food for thought about female psychology and seduction theory from pick-up, using a political analogy to possibly explain why these men are on your mind and why these sexual dreams happen:
 

You may know the horseshoe theory, where the "Ʊ" shape shows that the extremes of the political spectrum are actually closer to each other rather than at opposite ends.

Well, a similar pattern is true for the emotional spectrum ( for attraction ) -- Hate is at one end, and Love is at the other.

It’s way easier to flip from love to hate (think breakups) and hate to love (heated argument into sex) than from indifference to love. (By love, I mean feelings of attraction and desire, not actual healthy real love, though it works to a degree.)

The actual opposite of love isn’t hate -- it’s indifference. Notice that without strong emotions, whether negative or positive, these people barely cross your mind. The person doesn’t even exist for you. And by definition without strong emotions you are not attracted to them .

So then, it’s actually beneficial (and I don't approove of this) to make a woman angry, irritated, or resentful, disagree with them a lot,  or to get into heated arguments. It may look like the interaction is moving in the wrong direction, but it’s not. 

Strong emotions, especially a rollercoaster of both positive and negative feelings, can generate arousal and attraction. It's a tool for seduction. Matter of fact its common knowledge for PUAs ( and I don' aproove of it ) that many times even get on the radar of a very hot girl in ( specifically in clubs )  you have to get in her face or you will absolutely be ignored. It commands attention and possibly can make her reactive to you. It can absolutely fail in a terrible way  though, but in terms of seduction its better than being ignored .
 

Imagine this: if someone does or says  something nasty to you, time goes by, and suddenly the person is on your mind all the time. You non-stop replay how they wronged you, imagine what you’d say to them, etc. If you were indifferent, you wouldn’t think about them at all.

If someone is constantly on your mind, in a way, you obsess over them. And if you see them in person, you’ll react emotionally, recognizing them immediately--even in a room full of people. This also happens if you have a crush on them. Notice how this doesn’t occur with someone you feel indifferent about.
 

So since you strongly disagree about many things these right wing men say, and maybe sort of dislike their actions, behaviors etc, combined with the fact that they have a degree of status, they are on your mind a lot. You think about them a lot . And then it's easy to flip from hate to love.

Just food for thought and this is speaking in very broad terms, and I'm not saying I aproove of emotionally manipulating women to generate attraction, It's just a raw observation and I'm sharing the theory for possible better self-understanding.

Edited December 5 by mmKay