Why women share emotions instead of solve?

[Viking]

It's a long discussed concept and I'm well aware if it but as a man it's difficult to wrap my head around it.

If a negative emotion occurs, women want to share it, yet men want to solve it.

Ultimately a balanced human should dabble in both sides, but I can understand at the core why do some women choose only the former - only sharing.

Neglecting the solution entirely to their problems and only share about it, which leads to temporary relief, but since the problem hasn't been solved it keeps triggering them emotionally lowering their quality of life.

Is it only when they're unconscious? And if they would be aware of the situation they would try to solve it?

 

Btw I'm aware men also do this, but statistically less. Just a generalization. The point of the post is that i barely do it so I'm trying to understand the other side no matter its gender.

My way of coping with negative emotions is sometimes addictive behavior but usually for matters which cannot be solved in the short or even medium term

[NoSelfSelf]

That's the big difference between man and a woman,women is everchanging while man is always firm in who he is.

You are looking to put women in a firm structure and they will never stay there, only if you are firm in yours,but that cant happen if you look to understand women but yourself and be firm in who you are.

Instead of looking to why she needs emotional support, be emotional support.

Edited 22 hours ago by NoSelfSelf

[Viking]

@NoSelfSelf i am a very emotionally supportive person. The reason i ask these questions is to provide better emotional support by understanding women better.

Regarding what you said, it a bit contradicts the problem i talked about, how are women everchanging if they keep having the same issues because they don't solve them? Gets them rather stuck and not changing.

[NoSelfSelf]

2 hours ago, Viking said:

@NoSelfSelf i am a very emotionally supportive person. The reason i ask these questions is to provide better emotional support by understanding women better.

Regarding what you said, it a bit contradicts the problem i talked about, how are women everchanging if they keep having the same issues because they don't solve them? Gets them rather stuck and not changing.

Point is to not understand women, its to understand yourself then find a woman who will love your way of emotional support.

[Sugarcoat]

Are you sure men in general are more likely to seek solutions for their emotions? I read that suicide is more common for men, and one reason being they don’t seek help as much. Maybe it’s true they are more quiet about their emotions in comparison to women who share then more but I don’t think they are more likely to seek solutions to it. Venting about an emotion can also be a way to release some pressure and brain storm with your besties about the situation so it can also be a way to look for a solution

[Tenebroso]

51 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Are you sure men in general are more likely to seek solutions for their emotions? I read that suicide is more common for men, and one reason being they don’t seek help as much. Maybe it’s true they are more quiet about their emotions in comparison to women who share then more but I don’t think they are more likely to seek solutions to it. Venting about an emotion can also be a way to release some pressure and brain storm with your besties about the situation so it can also be a way to look for a solution

Suicide is a solution.

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

Suicide is a solution.

I see your point. But still suicide could be something someone does because they haven’t tried all the other possible solutions 

[Princess Arabia]

7 hours ago, Viking said:

Is it only when they're unconscious? And if they would be aware of the situation they would try to solve it?

You cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it. Albert Einstein.

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

7 hours ago, Viking said:

, but since the problem hasn't been solved it keeps triggering them emotionally lowering their quality of life.

It's not that the problem hasn't been solved, it's because the mindset goes with them wherever they are and the same mindset see everything else in the same way.

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, Viking said:

If a negative emotion occurs, women want to share it, yet men want to solve it.

You cannot solve an emotion. Emotions aren't problems to be solved. They are looking to be expressed and talking about the circumstances that created those emotions is one way of doing that. That's why forums are so popular and exactly what you're doing by making this post. You're trying to understand your own emotions that arose within this spectrum of train of thought. Think back to how you felt when these questions arose within you. There were emotions at play that needed to be expressed, and this forum was one way of doing just that. Most people aren't looking to "solve their problems" when they write about it, they are looking to express their emotions. This is why you'll see the same people with the same kind of "problem" showing up in the same sub-forum. It's called expression. Expression of energy.

Edited 15 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

7 hours ago, Viking said:

but as a man it's difficult to wrap my head around it.

This is what I mean. Emotions, thoughts and feelings that you're trying to wrap your head around - that you've generated within you. You're not really looking for answers as to why women share their feelings, you're looking to share yours. Express yours. To clear your baggage of emotions that are flooding within you. You're actually doing the same thing as these women, but in question form and the mind is trying to continue it's momentum by trying to obtain answers to formulate more questions. It's a never-ending battle the mind carries on with itself.

[Schizophonia]

What's the problem ?

[Viking]

52 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This is what I mean. Emotions, thoughts and feelings that you're trying to wrap your head around - that you've generated within you. You're not really looking for answers as to why women share their feelings, you're looking to share yours. Express yours. To clear your baggage of emotions that are flooding within you. You're actually doing the same thing as these women, but in question form and the mind is trying to continue it's momentum by trying to obtain answers to formulate more questions. It's a never-ending battle the mind carries on with itself.

Interesting point, it may be true that my question asking is a way to express that energy.

So in continuation of this energy expression lol - why do men then express emotions with solution oriented expression of emotion yet women with just stopping at the problem and sharing only it?

[Emerald]

It's a means of opening up emotionally about problems and creating intimacy and connection with that other person. And it's a relief because I don't have to struggle with those problems alone and hold them in to myself.

And I feel a lot lighter if I can have a heart to heart with someone in that way. I might even sometimes cry, which is a good stress reliever.

Like, if I talk with people about my problems, it's 90% for the purpose of connection and sharing my life with that person.

It's like, "Hey, I want you to know what I'm going through and what my internal state is because I want to you know this part of me."

I rarely need someone's help to solve my problems for me. I usually know how to solve them, and am in the process of doing so.

Like, right now I'm in the process of making big changes within my business. And I know my game plan. It will just take quite a while.

So, if I open up to someone about my stresses with my business, 9 times out of 10 I'm not looking for solutions because I know what I'm doing already. The map is drawn out, and I have nothing else to do but do it.

But when I'm stressed, I find it relieving sometimes to talk to friends about it.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

I see your point. But still suicide could be something someone does because they haven’t tried all the other possible solutions 

I do think the higher male suicide rate could be attributed partially to men tending to hold their emotional struggles to themselves more and not reaching out for help.

That's especially true if his only connections are with brass tacks solution-oriented guys that he can't really bring up his emotional struggles with, as these guys might be at a loss of what to do with his feelings other than to try to solve them for him.

[AION]

Not all problems have a logical solution. Some problems, especially, human problems, need an emotional solution. For example if you procrastinate, there are probably emotional reasons behind it, not logical. 

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I do think the higher male suicide rate could be attributed partially to men tending to hold their emotional struggles to themselves more and not reaching out for help.

That's especially true if his only connections are with brass tacks solution-oriented guys that he can't really bring up his emotional struggles with, as these guys might be at a loss of what to do with his feelings other than to try to solve them for him.

I was thinking the same as what you wrote in the first paragraph. I don’t know if I agree with the second part though, having people around you that would try to find solutions to your problems sounds like it would be a good thing and potentially helpful. But it might lack that pure emotional support one can crave so maybe I can see your point. 

Edited 14 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Viking said:

Interesting point, it may be true that my question asking is a way to express that energy.

So in continuation of this energy expression lol - why do men then express emotions with solution oriented expression of emotion yet women with just stopping at the problem and sharing only it?

Men are more logical, women are more emotional. Solution-oriented is more masculine, sharing is more feminine. Yin-yang. They share so you can solve. You solve by listening and giving them a space and a place to air it out and maybe find a practical solution.

They have allowed you to be of some use. Just kidding here. No I'm not. Hehe.

[Viking]

37 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Men are more logical, women are more emotional. Solution-oriented is more masculine, sharing is more feminine. Yin-yang. They share so you can solve. You solve by listening and giving them a space and a place to air it out and maybe find a practical solution.

They have allowed you to be of some use. Just kidding here. No I'm not. Hehe.

Interesting. So you're saying by sharing, women express their yin energy? Their passive energy?

[Princess Arabia]

25 minutes ago, Viking said:

Interesting. So you're saying by sharing, women express their yin energy? Their passive energy?

Pretty much. Idk if that's the case for sure but that's how I understand it. Everything I say is how I understand it. A perspective that makes sense in context.