Its Not About the Money

[Spiritual Warrior]

Its Not About the Money by Brent Kessel

Book notes

Introduction: 

This book will help you gain:

An abiding sense of financial fulfillment

A clear understanding of the powerful forces that have shaped your financial life

A real sense of security and confidence about your future

Improved financial relationships with your life partner, parents, and children

A greater ability to reach your most important financial goals

Edited November 30 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Chapter One: You will Never Have Enough

No matter what our circumstances, our minds tend to promise us, falsely, that happiness is tied to getting more of what we want - better food, housing, transportation, recreation, health, and travel, to name just a few

The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has. The Wanting Mind insists that things need to change in order for us to be happy, and money is one of its favorite objects to focus on. The Wanting Mind continuously takes us out of the present moment in its attempts to make us happy in some better tomorrow.

Our biological imperative to survive is what drives the Wanting Mind. A tree grows toward whatever available sunlight it can find. Whales migrate thousands of miles to reproduce. A human baby screams with hunger until she is fed

Nothing in modern society is as closely tied to survival as money. 

“When you begin to really understand how wired you are to want pleasure and to want to avoid pain, that sort of basic instinctual wiring-when you start to see through that clearly, you begin ot take it less personally.” - Wes Nisker

There is no way out of wanting more, it is part of our basic instinctual wiring.

Exercise: Detach: Close your eyes for one to three minutes. Just pay attention to what thoughts arise, without trying to control those thoughts. Ready? Go… Now reflect a little. What were your thoughts? Did you feel at peace or were your thoughts focused on something that needed to be changed?

Whenever you can, in the coming days, take a look at your thoughts through this lens: Is this thought happy with my life, right now, just as it is? If not, what is it trying to get me to do in order to feel a sense of “enough”?

When we let the Wanting Mind control our financial lives, there are always tremendous costs, both financially and emotionally. 

The mind lures us into this behavior pattern by telling us that the more we want, the more we’ll get and the more we get, the happier we’ll be. But the truth is that the more we want now, the more we’ll want in the future. Humans are creatures of habit. The more we behave in a certain way today, the more we will behave that way in the future

1. Have sex with 100 women - Wanting mind
2. Have full body orgasms - Heartfelt goal
3. Never ejaculate - Wanting mind
4. Make a significant difference in every one of my students lives - Heartfelt goal - Heartfelt goal
5. Drive a Tesla - Wanting mind
6. Have a big house with an inground pool - Wanting mind
7. Get married and have children - Heartfelt goal
8. Write a book about the masculine vs feminine dynamic - Heartfelt goal
9. Win awards at dance competitions - Wanting mind
10. Approach 1,000 women - Heartfelt goal
11. Reach a stage yellow type of systems thinking - Heartfelt goal
12. Have $1,000,000 in my bank account - Wanting mind
13. Meditate every day until I die - Wanting mind
14. Do a meditation retreat - Heartfelt goal
15. Approach women with confidence and tell them they are beautiful - Heartfelt goal
16. Have healthy relationships with friends and gamily - Heartfelt goal
17. Try to be less and less selfish as you. age (put your ego to the side) - Heartfelt goal
18. Have sexual abundance - Heartfelt goal
19. Have many sexual partners -Wanting mind
20. Have a fit and healthy and muscular body - Heartfelt goal
21. Get a lot of attention from women - Wanting mind
22. Drive a nice car - Wanting mind

Exercise: Close your eyes for just a minute or so and place yourself in a life where your goals have already happened. Involve as many of your sense as possible: What does the environment around you look like, what can you hear, whats the temperature, and how does it smell and taste to be there? Just enjoy the sensations of having achieved these goals. Imagining these goals as if you’d already attained them in your life should give you a palpable sense of peace and fulfillment. If not, they’re more likely the cravings of the Wanting Mind. Follow the advice contained in the rest of this book and theres no reason you cannot achieve the heartfelt goals that are most important to you! 

At War with Yourself:

When we are in a stage of wanting, there is an inner conflict between what we have-what we are experiencing right now-and what we want. There is one part of you that is taking in your present experience, unfiltered, “The sun is shining”, “This car is making funny sounds,” “I am feeling angry,” There is another part of you whose attention is sharply focused on how you’d like to change your experience: “I wish it weren’t so hot,” “I need a new car,” “She shouldn't make me angry.” When you say, it is this way and I want it to be that way, you are fighting with what is.