Should We Apply Self-development To Dating?

[Jordan wang]

I am a person who is committed to apply the concepts of self-development into every aspects of my life, but should I apply it to dating?

For example:

self-development concept: (never give up)

  When I ask a girl out and she rejects me, if I apply this concept, I would just keep asking her out and keep bothering her to the point that she finds me disturbing and annoying. I know that I am not suppose to give up, but would this get me girls? Wouldn't girls just see this type of behavior as uncool and not sexy?

concept: (keep on asking girls out until you get what you want)

  If I get out of my comfort zone and ask one hot girl out per day, what if the girl that I asked out yesterday sees me ask or kiss another girl? What would she think of me? Or worse, would she tell all her hot friends to beware and never date me? 

Self-development involves a lot of planning and committing. But relationships are unpredictable, one moment it goes well, the next I might fuck up. 

Should I plan what girl I'm going to ask out and commit to that one girl? (probably not right?)

Basically: Am I suppose to be pushy in terms of my relationships with girls? Or should I just don't (plan) expect anything and let it happen? (isn't this the loser's way? But maybe it works with dating only?)

 

I'm lost as F.

Where does relationships and self-development meet? Is this the only area that I shouldn't apply the concepts of self-development?

I am 18, only had one girl friend. I don't get girls in general.

If anyone can answer my questions or just explain what girls want that would be appreciated.

Also how do I have as many one night stands (Or just hot fuck buddies) or just have a good sex life in general without appearing to be an asshole who cheats on woman?

thank you,

jordan wang

[Spiral]

1. If she really rejects you, don't try again.

2. If you want a girlfriend, don't go around kissing girls randomly, make them earn it.

3. If you don't want a girlfriend and just want to be promiscuous, don't care about what girls think of you, but make sure they know what you are after, aka don't be fuckboy. (I would recommend trying to find a long term relationship, but you are young so i will not expect it of you)

4. Girls like decisive guys make a plan and stick to it, but if it makes sense to be spontaneous do that.

Good luck and have fun 

[Visitor]

In my honest opinion....

Every person is a free agent. They can come and go as they please.

Focus only on your own self-development, unless invited by the other.

Be ruthfully honest in all aspects. No deceptions, no emotional blackmail, no ignoring what the other is saying to you about you or the dating.

Everybody is like a train going on a journey. If your date likes your journey/destination, your date will want to get on your train. If they no longer want to go where you are going, they will get off. So lets hope that your self development journey is attractive to your date. Otherwise you can still persist on your journey without your date, or you might find your date's journey even better than your own, and join on that person's journey.

Personally, I prefer it when both my date and I are going in the same direction in self-development. Otherwise we will be waiting for the next station to arrive. 

[Loreena]

When a guy has multiple skills the attraction is just irresistible, at least for me.

[Prabhaker]

4 minutes ago, Loreena said:

When a guy has multiple skills the attraction is just irresistible, at least for me.

 Never marry a genius.

[Loreena]

Just now, Prabhaker said:

 Never marry a genius.

hmmm...why

[Prabhaker]

Just now, Loreena said:

hmmm...why

They are not good lovers.