Existential Dread (I need spiritual guidance pls)

[Javfly33]

5 hours ago, QandC said:

 

Please, I need spiritual guidance, cus' my self-identity or whatever's left from it is crumbling. I barely believe my parents are my parents.

Why should you believe that your parents are your parents?

Edited Monday at 08:56 PM by Javfly33

[Eph75]

@QandC

I've been trough phases as a forward progression towards losening the hold that attcahements have had on me, also after awakening to the make believe reality we are conditioned into. 

The most difficult detanglement was an achiever shadow that was deeply conditioned within my beliefs, that left emotional shadows also after I detached from it conceptually.

It manifested as walking a knives' edge, on one hand intuitively knowing it was false yet on the other hand experiencing the emotional aspects of lack and pull towards a discontent from non-achievement.

Took the better part of year of inquiry before it dissolved, and paradoxically, I was trying to give in to the idea of manifesting my calling as an achievement, to maintain integrity, forcing myself to embrace that which I intuited was false. 

This might not be what you're alluding to, hard to tell since you share so little, almost nothing. 

If so, the sad yet not surprising answer to the question how to overcome this phase is unfortunately that there is no answer and it being a phase that serves a purpose and itself being something to surrender into to be fulfilled.

If this resonates, it could be explored. 

If not, so be it. 

Edited Monday at 09:31 PM by Eph75

[Verg0]

My suggestion is to build a strong, nature, developed ego first from which you can more smoothly transition into these awakening experiences and dark night of the souls. 

I've found great reassurance in reading books from people who have gone through the dark night like St John of the Cross. 

If spirituality feels to overwhelming to you right now, leave it aside for now. 

Go get a job, socialize, build out some hobbies. Ground yourself in earthly life. 

[Verg0]

'Toward a Psychology of Awakening' is also a nice book exploring the idea of Awakening in the West. And goes into Ego development. 

Edited yesterday at 04:23 AM by Verg0

[puporing]

@QandC There is a sort of "human cost" to pursuing vertical ascension, in a nutshell. So if your call is to keep "ascending," then be prepared for some level of "isolation", rejection/ridicule, etc. But it will balance itself out also, you'll probably eventually find "your kind" so to speak.