On "Automatic Love"

[Ar_Senses]

@NoSelfSelf Can you clarify for me, it’s no irony or sarcasm. Do you see my sensitivity as something excessive and difficult to deal with?

If the answer is yes, then can you tell me why exactly?

Edited Saturday at 09:02 AM by Ar_Senses

[NoSelfSelf]

40 minutes ago, Ar_Senses said:

@NoSelfSelf Can you clarify for me, it’s no irony or sarcasm. Do you see my sensitivity as something excessive and difficult to deal with?

If the answer is yes, then can you tell me why exactly?

Yes,because i cant tell you things straight up i would have to walk on eggshells talking to you ,to not trigger you.Also hearing all the ways it bothers you which is 90% personal 10% others doing.So in real life i would distance myself from such drama because it would just take energy to always explain myself,but i dont want to explain myself mybe once briefly so you can understand my point of view.There is no benefit to me in that situation.

[Ar_Senses]

@NoSelfSelf Ok. So just to be clear - im not trying to trick you by those questions. But for me to consider your point deeper and to change my attitude i want to ask you questions which can reassure me that you're critisizing from above, not below:

- Have you ever been that sensitive yourself? If yes, what was your process of overcoming it? If not, how you can be sure that it's my "drama", but not your lack of emotional and interpersonal intellegence?

- Have you ever went to therapy? If yes, what was the module that your therapist practiced and how long was your relationships?

- Do you know what's your type of attachment (attachment theory)?

- How did you overcame the social conditioning from growing up in Croatia as a white male? Or do you think that this type of enverionment have no influence on you?

- How do you make sure that your feeling of "have to walk on eggshells talking to you" is a problem of my sensetivity and not your lack of development needed to handle mature communication, which is reinforced by the fact that the average level of communication among people is quite shallow?

- How do you build relationships and communication with women, who are often times sensetive? Do you have female friends?

- What makes you confident that you're not weaponising the idea of "clear straightforward communication" for your self-serving agenda, so you can just be rude, dominating and unempathetic?

I hope you understand, that it's can be hard for me to seriouslly consider a POV from another stranger, which can ruin my current identity and make me embark on such emotionally hard thing which is changing myslef. I hope you'll find meaningful to help me to realize that you're honest and not decieving yourself and, as a consequence, me.

I hope you can see, that there's a bunch of others in the comments, who're reacting in the same way. Something like: "Oh! Your feeling are not important!",  "Leo, why'd you're not destroy him with his Ego bullshit?" etc. And often times, when i see such a reactive emotional behaviour like that, i'd probably will think that this is more about them, then about me. It's not that easy for me to consider, that you're going from the good place, when your message at the core is the same as "Lol this is so unlike you Leo. I thought you value Truth. Why bend it to protect a single person's feefees?:

I'll be thankful to you for your honest answers.

Edited Saturday at 12:34 PM by Ar_Senses

[NoSelfSelf]

1 hour ago, Ar_Senses said:

@NoSelfSelf Ok. So just to be clear - im not trying to trick you by those questions. But for me to consider your point deeper and to change my attitude i want to ask you questions which can reassure me that you're critisizing from above, not below:

- Have you ever been that sensitive yourself? If yes, what was your process of overcoming it? If not, how you can be sure that it's my "drama", but not your lack of emotional and interpersonal intellegence?

- Have you ever went to therapy? If yes, what was the module that your therapist practiced and how long was your relationships?

- Do you know what's your type of attachment (attachment theory)?

- How did you overcame the social conditioning from growing up in Croatia as a white male? Or do you think that this type of enverionment have no influence on you?

- How do you make sure that your feeling of "have to walk on eggshells talking to you" is a problem of my sensetivity and not your lack of development needed to handle mature communication, which is reinforced by the fact that the average level of communication among people is quite shallow?

- How do you build relationships and communication with women, who are often times sensetive? Do you have female friends?

- What makes you confident that you're not weaponising the idea of "clear straightforward communication" for your self-serving agenda, so you can just be rude, dominating and unempathetic?

I hope you understand, that it's can be hard for me to seriouslly consider a POV from another stranger, which can ruin my current identity and make me embark on such emotionally hard thing which is changing myslef. I hope you'll find meaningful to help me to realize that you're honest and not decieving yourself and, as a consequence, me.

I hope you can see, that there's a bunch of others in the comments, who're reacting in the same way. Something like: "Oh! Your feeling are not important!",  "Leo, why'd you're not destroy him with his Ego bullshit?" etc. And often times, when i see such a reactive emotional behaviour like that, i'd probably will think that this is more about them, then about me. It's not that easy for me to consider, that you're going from the good place, when your message at the core is the same as "Lol this is so unlike you Leo. I thought you value Truth. Why bend it to protect a single person's feefees?:

I'll be thankful to you for your honest answers.

Yes in my teens i was very sensitive, i would feel things so deeply and every word towards me would trigger me, but i wouldnt verbalize it out loud i would keep it all for myself.In my mid twenties i was sensitive but not as much as in my teens,so i very much know how it is,but i never lashed out defend everything blaming others.

Process was long but what helped me most is actually listening to men(to find a real man is a challenge tho)and "taking verbal punches" that shattered my weak perceptions of reality.

Becoming more masculine less feminine helped me alot to overcome that sensibility. Learning game(not this pick up bs real game that makes it about you and not a woman).

Yes ive been to therapy for panic attacks and depression/anxiety 3 different time each lasted aporx 6 months. Its mostly bs.

Im not big on attachment theory but it was avoidant but now is more secure.

I was raised by a narcissist so i know the difference between walking on eggshells and normal conversation.

I very well know what a great communication is and it doesnt involve arguing and me proving myself to someone(but here i wanted to be merciful).

When i was talking to i took in consideration im not talking to a woman(checked your profile)here that is sensitive i had to check you are a male first.With women its different if she has proved to me that she is worthy of my time then ofcourse ill take care of her sensitivity/emotions because she has a pass, she is an emotional being and you are nobody to me and you dont have a pass because you are a male.

Female friend? Is that new mcdonalds burger on the menu i dont know what that is to be honest.

Weaponizing? For what what do i get out of this? like i talk straightfowardly because my rule is to tell the truth and ill say how i think.I wont live my life supressing my real thoughts/intentions where i always get shorter end of the stick.Good luck with that i hope one day you dont torture yourself over pleasing others.

I rather get no resaults with people then to sell my realness.

Im not telling you to embark on anything really if you like the way you live and need to change people around you to fit your ways go for it.If you are sick of being emotional i can assist you with that.

 

Edited Saturday at 01:11 PM by NoSelfSelf

[James123]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

i dont want to explain myself mybe once briefly so you can understand my point of view.There is no benefit to me in that situation.

Be silent. That's all it takes.

[NoSelfSelf]

18 minutes ago, James123 said:

Be silent. That's all it takes.

How about me deciding when ill be silent, thanks.

[James123]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

How about me deciding when ill be silent, thanks.

LoL. 

[Yimpa]

6 hours ago, Francis777 said:

When your consciousness is high enough and free enough, it's AUTOMATIC LOVE!!!!!!!! YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU JUST HAVE TO BE THERE, ITS AUTOMATIC LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are you yelling!