Fantasy...

[jacknine119]

It's like a drug. I have attachment that when i am bored i have desire to listen to music and have childish fantasies for example: How i impress girls in my job or how i play well any sport and woman look at me in that moments. 

And after ending this process i feel worse than i was before starting.

I waste so much time sometimes i listen to musics about1 hour. 

Just avoid music will be good problem solving??

Edited Monday at 06:49 PM by Leo Gura

[jacknine119]

Its also way of procrastination and it's very tricky. I dont know what to do

[noahmh]

Maybe try doing something while you listen to music. Fantasies are cool because they allow us to escape from our lives. I recommend creating or doing things while you listen to music. You can be proud of the things you do and envision instead of ashamed about the time you "wasted".

Edited Monday at 06:34 PM by noahmh

[NoSelfSelf]

You have low self worth and dont love yourself that's why you feel bad.

Nobody who loves himself wants to impress women.

Daydreaming is a must but needs to be executed.

Edited Monday at 06:33 PM by NoSelfSelf

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You have low self worth and dont love yourself that's why you feel bad.

Nobody who loves himself wants to impress women.

Daydreaming is a must but needs to be executed.

Be aware, if "low self worth" was only negative, there wouldn't is interest for the CNS (to take a physicalist pov) to keep this operation.

Talking about trauma and low value caused to explain self-destructive behavior is a useless demagogic trap, which is why you have all these people who spend their lives eating magic mushrooms and personal development books only to end up staying in the same pattern.

The reason someone "has low self-worth" is the same reason he accepted to be bullied as a child or whatever; And that reason is that they were overprotected and still resonate narcissistically; He think we have to take care of him and he is willing to spend is life "daydreaming" and basically doing nothing so he don't have to face the crisis, the narcissistic rage that they are not the center of the world.

This is what is holding him back from moving on to the stage of "ok I'm going out to work or do an activity that I like", he is waiting for the carriage.

He wait Godot

[NoSelfSelf]

25 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Be aware, if "low self worth" was only negative, there wouldn't is interest for the CNS (to take a physicalist pov) to keep this operation.

Talking about trauma and low value caused to explain self-destructive behavior is a useless demagogic trap, which is why you have all these people who spend their lives eating magic mushrooms and personal development books only to end up staying in the same pattern.

The reason someone "has low self-worth" is the same reason he accepted to be bullied as a child or whatever; And that reason is that they were overprotected and still resonate narcissistically; He think we have to take care of him and he is willing to spend is life "daydreaming" and basically doing nothing so he don't have to face the crisis, the narcissistic rage that they are not the center of the world.

This is what is holding him back from moving on to the stage of "ok I'm going out to work or do an activity that I like", he is waiting for the carriage.

He wait Godot

Then whats the solution?

[Rigel]

You could actually listen to the music & stop thinking. When you are thinking you aren’t listening. You got a thinking problem.

Edited Monday at 07:30 PM by Rigel

[Sugarcoat]

I did this in past too. 
 

I think it’s a symptom of other things. Rather than being so much of a problem that should be focused on in itself. Because it can be really hard to stop this habit if the underlying issues aren’t dealt with. It’s like you’re focusing on the wrong thing. Like it has been previously mentioned in this thread, low self worth probably plays a role in this. And maybe you feel inhibited in real life to express yourself authentically. Maybe you’re shy irl, held back. Your personality irl being underdeveloped. So this ideal self fantasy is trying to compensate that. So deal with those underlying things. 
 

Healthygamergg on YouTube has good videos on this. Search for the channel name then daydreaming and you’ll find them

Edited Monday at 07:31 PM by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

This is a good read too. It’s quite long and might be hard if you’re not so good at English but I found it amazing 

https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/guide/

[jacknine119]

@Rigel Good point!!

[jacknine119]

@Sugarcoat Thanks. Its interesting sources. And you are right. Its surface of the another problem.

[Schizophonia]

20 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Then whats the solution?

Acting, confronting the fear, the compulsion.

Then neuroplasticity does its work.

[NoSelfSelf]

10 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Acting, confronting the fear, the compulsion.

Then neuroplasticity does its work.

True,but before that one must believe in his actions to make them and if one has low self worth/self love wont do the action so its catch 22.But okay your point is valid.

[Schizophonia]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

True,but before that one must believe in his actions to make them and if one has low self worth/self love wont do the action so its catch 22.But okay your point is valid.

Ego's catch 22

[NoSelfSelf]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

Ego's catch 22

Its total valid you actually cant do any action if you dont believe in it.But if you lying to yourself that you cant you wont.Its all mind games the life that is...

[Schizophonia]

22 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Its total valid you actually cant do any action if you dont believe in it.But if you lying to yourself that you cant you wont.Its all mind games the life that is...

We must succeed in installing a new belief and in fine identity as deeply as possible in the eye of the needle of being.
 

Monism goes both ways, so on one side it opens the possibility of siddhis of clairvoyance, voyance and by extension telepathy, and on the other side manifestation; maybe even materialization.

 

It's not easy, because as soon as we give in to the truth accessible in the eye of the needle, lots of obvious truths that hurt the ego arise, because you fool yourself. So we come back to the cerebral cortex the rationalizing part of the nervous system that makes experience tangible, like a child who flees from his parents' anger by locking himself in his room, or who hides under the covers because he had a nightmare, because it allows us to further distort reality and avoid ego crisis.

I can see everything, but I'm still too cowardly.

Edited 17 hours ago by Schizophonia

[NoSelfSelf]

11 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

We must succeed in installing a new belief and in fine identity as deeply as possible in the eye of the needle of being.
 

Monism goes both ways, so on one side it opens the possibility of siddhis of clairvoyance, voyance and by extension telepathy, and on the other side manifestation; maybe even materialization.

 

It's not easy, because as soon as we give in to the truth accessible in the eye of the needle, lots of obvious truths that hurt the ego arise, because you fool yourself. So we come back to the cerebral cortex, but it will only see a biased part of reality that will only push back the ego crisis.

I can see everything, but I'm still too cowardly.

You are all over the place,like mish mash of all the sources you watched heared just spilled at the same time.

One to be able to do the actions needs to hold its own position and opinion above the other sources. 

So if i hold the position that ill eat healthy every day ,believe in it and do it then it will be done.But if i say ill eat healthy but those juicy burgers,omg you only live once,whats the point of life to suffer? Then that mish mash disproves and disbeliefs the action.

If we gonna inject masculine its picking a decision and run with it not thinking philosophyse it to death.

Edited 17 hours ago by NoSelfSelf