I really need your advice:(

[jacknine119]

I am sad as fuck. 

My parents live unconscious life. Junk food bad habits negative mood and thoughts. But compare to other parents they are angels. So i want to be grateful to them but i can't but I can't forgive them their unconscious life because it impacted on me too. They really love me. But with them i lose my mood also i don't want conversation with them because they irritate me.

What do you advice me here? My brain says that i must keep my distance with them and don't communicate much.

But my heart doesn't want to hurt them:)

[jacknine119]

And today i complained with them for some my problems and this is reason why i feel sad.

I lost myself

Edited Sunday at 10:10 PM by jacknine119

[Yimpa]

My relationship with my parents used to be much more toxic than it is now. Taking distance from them temporarily was essential for healing for both parties.

[jacknine119]

@Yimpa yeah maybe that's better. When i am far from them i love them and when i am with them i don't 😅

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVkSwbJ-sFY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOf4rIt5V14

 

[Buck Edwards]

Try to distance yourself from them. Don't guilt yourself. You should do what makes you happy. 

[jacknine119]

@Raze @YimpaThanks man, i watched it.

[jacknine119]

@Buck Edwards Yeah now i realized that diplomatic distance is the best option)

[Yimpa]

Are you also open to the possibility of leaving without any explanation if talking things through with them fails? 

[jacknine119]

@Yimpa They will laught ironically i know. No matter if i talk or not they don't change opinion.

[Schizophonia]

Why are you pissing off your parents when they're not hostile, and you can't even get money or pussy? What's your problem?

 

This is what happens when you have no persona because you are not living your life and are in denial of your needs ; So you over-identify with your parents. You are like a woman.

 

Get over your childish narcissism and start building a life for yourself; that way when you have the money for your apartment you won't be tempted by the cookies in the cupboard, if that's the cause of your tantrum.

[Schizophonia]

18 hours ago, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVkSwbJ-sFY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOf4rIt5V14

 

15 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Try to distance yourself from them. Don't guilt yourself. You should do what makes you happy. 

5 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Are you also open to the possibility of leaving without any explanation if talking things through with them fails? 

You spoiled little American, i know people who really had hostile parents, who have really violent and hostile behavior in general, how many children would have dreamed of having just parents "who eat badly" or "not very aware" or who have certain psychological difficulties in general.

You are like pigs who squeal because the jam is not sweet enough.

[Eph75]

Suffering is relative and hell only exist as a personal manifestation that will make it perfectly "hell". 

@jacknine119

You haven't indicated what kind of problems this involves, so it could be as simple as them serving you pasta without mindfulness Ketchup.

It does matter as some abuse is absolutely untolerable and much else is made up within your own mind based on how well or poorly you self-manage thought and emotions. 

Lots of people are going to say that you should distance yourself and whatnot and oftentimes projecting their own history onto those who ask. 

First thing you should do, unless it's absolutely abuse which you indicate it is not, it to try assess soberly and as objectively as you can while also questioning how you could be the problem in terms of intolerance and unwarranted expectations placed on some other person - over whom you do not have control or authority to change. 

You can only change yourself, and others might choose to change as a response. 

Edited Monday at 07:41 PM by Eph75

[jacknine119]

@Schizophonia Okay you are right that i am not making enought actions in life. But that's another topic. Parents are not hostile to me of course, but that's not enought reason to have good and constant relationship with them. They unconsciously hurt me and i said that. 

[Loving Radiance]

@jacknine119 It helped me to distance myself and heal for a time. Now I feel I want to get more into contact despite their development and level of unconsciousness. Trust your intuition.