I need motivation to socialize more

[Grant6]

Lately I have been trying to figure out, how I can bring myself to connect with people even when I don't feel like it? I often keep most thoughts and feelings to myself, unless I am prompted to share them, then I don't mind. But people rarely come up to you first, and I don't want to wait for people to come to me—I want to take more initiative. But putting myself out there, unprompted, even when I don't feel like it just feels so draining, and can sometimes be scary, but I want to overcome this because I want to get better at forming connections with people in all areas of my life. And this most often applies to group settings, where it's easy to hide and fade into the background. I'm much more confident in one-on-one interactions with people, but I still have struggles there too sometimes.

For me there are already some obstacles that I am aware of, like I often feel like people just don't care what I have to say, so why would I share myself if they don't ask first? And another obstacle is energy, which again applies mostly to groups. I am guilty of speaking with little to no enthusiasm or excitement unless I am genuinely excited about the topic. But even then, I'm not totally monotone, but my speech sometimes lacks "life" to it, and this does not engage people and so I lose their attention quickly and then cannot connect with them.

And a bonus question, how do you all connect with people even when they have very different views than you? It's easy to connect when someone has many overlapping interests/values, but when someone is the total opposite of you, how do you relate to them?

[NoSelfSelf]

My advice is that you look to connect with people instead with yourself,then the way you connected to yourself it will be easy to connect with others.

People who make easy connection are those who are already good with themselves.

When you connect with yourself then you wont be looking to connect based on same likes/dislikes you will respect that they have their own ways just like you have.

Same way if you dont know math you wont be able to teach it to others.

Same way you dont know yourself you cant express yourself(so you not giving nothing for others to connect to because there is no connection to self)/but ofcourse you should talk about things that excites you that's authenticity not you forcing yourself.But when you connected to other more via being liked/approved based on not knowing yourself you will always seek connection to others first and then they wont be able to see the connection.Connection is seen when you can display it for them to see it the way you are with yourself.

 

Edited 7 hours ago by NoSelfSelf

[Hardkill]

I am not sure if any of this matters anymore now if you live in America now that Trump might control who people in the US socialize with.

Edited 7 hours ago by Hardkill

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I am not sure if any of this matters anymore now if you live in America now that Trump might control who people in the US socialize with.

You have turned this man into your God. You have placed him into your heart, and he is now controlling what you see, hear, think and feel. Just about every comment you make since he's been elected, you mention his name. Fear is at the core. Love Trumps fear. No pun intended. Focus on what you love and not what you fear. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Princess Arabia