My Friend Wants to Commit Suicide

[Carl-Richard]

59 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

This statement is very immature. It actually takes great courage to end your life. The most valuable possession you have is your life, a person has to really be pushed to the brink to end their life. You don't understand how much emotional pain, and physical pain it takes to drive someone to actually do it. Cowardice is actually a defense mechanism against suicide. Unless you can create a painless exit, a coward can't commit suicide.

It's both cowardice and courage for different reasons. It's not one or the other. It's cowardice because you're trying to escape the pain of life, but it's also courageous because it's painful to do so. Immature statements tend to be black and white statements, pretending to be absolute when they are in fact not 

Edited November 17 by Carl-Richard

[Vynce]

1 hour ago, BlueOak said:

You can.

If he's at the logical choice point, which I did a few months ago again. You could actually appeal to the logical part of his mind. In the end though I had to choose myself to give life another go.

Its almost like a choice point after the depression or the events that have plagued you and you reach a calm eye of the storm choice moment. That's the best way I could describe it to you. Someone doing it in a state of despair is much more likely to need someone there, or a hug, or some relief, but what the OP is describing is a conscious choice moment.

Your friend needs to see for himself that there is more to life than what he's experienced till this date, specifically a path or two to freedom.

I highly, highly doubt that there is a logical route against suicide.

If depressed people do one thing all the time, its thinking. Going through all the logical motions of the mind. Never coming to rest.

Of course maybe there an obvious believe pattern that can be lifted through conversation therapy. But if one is already planning suicide, I doubt he has just overseen some obvious negative belief. Especially if the depression is already going on for a prolonged time. As is, somehow the case with the above mentioned friend.

Just speaking from my experience of dealing with depression and suicidal ideation.

[Sugarcoat]

I think in such situations it’s about whether there is hope to change things or not. In his case as I mentioned if he has the possibility of moving out it would solve some of his problem with his family. If not for now, at least later and he can hold on until then. Unfortunately not all of us are lucky with a good family, but when one is not, one can find meaningful relationships elsewhere, such as in a friend like you for example. I don’t know much of his situation but it doesn’t seem hopeless, a hopeless situation for me would be for example if someone has a horrible incurable disease or something. In his case there is hope for change, and that is something you could focus on and inform him about. As long as he lives with his family he could try to stay away from them more, so going outside etc if he can. Maybe it sounds obvious but it’s just a suggestion . Bottom line his situation isn’t hopeless

[Ayham]

Thank you for all your answers, I am trying all of those, from referring him to a suicide helpline to being understanding and motivating him and other stuff.

 

Yet he really seems like he doesn't want help, his mindset is like "I have the freedom to not live my life and thats okay"

Fuck.

I will update you guys if something happens, apparently he has a planned date that is near to do it but refuses to tell me when.

[Atb210201]

Of course he is free to choose to do it or not.

Nobody can take away his freedom to do it or not away from him.

But for sure you and a lot of other people do not want him to kill himself because you love him and you will be hurt if he chooses to do it.

You still can tell him about these and in the end the decision is his to make whatever you do if unfortunately he decides to still do it remember that it's not your fault you did everything you could to prevent it.

But when it's still not happened yet let's try to prevent it from happening as best as we can.

Tell him you'd miss him if that happened and all the others who love him will also miss him and be in pain maybe he'll change his mind.

Don't put any pressure on yourself just do as your heart says in helping him.

Edited November 17 by Atb210201

[Ulax]

On 16/11/2024 at 1:27 PM, Buck Edwards said:

Maybe you could have a joint IFS therapy session with his entire family to make them understand his situation. Generally IFS therapy has been found to be helpful in family related scenarios is what I've heard. 

I find that an interesting  idea.

Richard Schwartz (the founder of IFS) was originally a family systems therapist. Which works by doing sessions with whole families. He then created IFS by applying family systems therapy onto the mind.

[Ulax]

When dealing with a suicidal person I think it’s useful to try and guide them towards seeing a trauma therapist.

A therapist who works with modalities like EMDR, Brainspotting, IFS, somatic experiencing, hakomi. I also think psychodynamic and gestalt therapists can be useful. 

But importantly puts on their psych profile that they work with things like CPTSD.

———-

I think there are also resources online (you can Google), regarding how to more effectively dialogue with people who express suicidal attitudes.

——-

Finally, you are a good guy mate and your friend reaching out to you is a sign of that. But don’t feel you need to pressure yourself to be the one person to lead him out of the darkness. A trained expert is what he needs.

All the best mate 👍

[Schizophonia]

9 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

This world is backwards. It's usually the opposite side of what things appear to be that's true or closer to being the case. You're right, I've heard people say they want to do it but are scared. So your point rings clear to me and i totally agree.

Because everything is projection.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

Because everything is projection.

Makes sense. So I run. Lol

[BlueOak]

On 17/11/2024 at 0:41 PM, Vynce said:

Just speaking from my experience of dealing with depression and suicidal ideation.

Same.

Maybe its different for everyone. I've been in really badly off states before in my past and hit despair and I could have done something rash then, but the right person, the right song, or the right word could have and did stave it off. But this was different I was okay with it and resolved like the OP's friend sounded, like he'd made the choice in his head and it was logically formed. Almost scheduled logically is the only way I can put it to you. I've heard of people making their last day memorable or peaceful, that sort of thing and that's what I planned. I was at peace.

Anyway good luck OP. Don't rule anything out, different states of mind/body at different times might produce different results.

Edited Tuesday at 12:02 PM by BlueOak

[Ayham]

I convinced him to take an albert camus approach for now.